


𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢

by BitterSweetlies



Category: Eurovision 2018 - Fandom, melovin - Fandom
Genre: Eurovision Song Contest 2018, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Internal Conflict, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterSweetlies/pseuds/BitterSweetlies
Summary: Forget what happend, frecking leave the past where it belongs, thats at least what I thought.Just run away, try again and run away, try again...not that hard right?Who would've guessed how much more could go wrong.Who would've thought that I would end up here again?𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙, 𝕴 𝖉𝖎𝖉𝖓'𝖙...----------------------A Mélovin Fan Fiction but this can also be read by anyone,I've written it like a normal bookTrigger Waring!!
Relationships: Kostyantyn Bocharov/Oxana
Kudos: 1





	1. ａ ｎｅｗ ｂｅｇｉｎｎｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｔｏｏ ｃｌｉｃｈé

**Author's Note:**

> since I don't speak Ukrainian or Russian, I have the dialog in cursive in these languages, if it gets too confusing let me know, then I will change it.
> 
> I have this story allready uploaded on my Wattpad Account, but I thought uploading it here wouldn't hurt soooo
> 
> (Here's the link to it for those who care 𝚆𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 - bittersweetlies - Wattpad)
> 
> Important: I know that kostya is a real person like all the others in his family/friends so I have included only the most " essential " people. Also, I want you to know as a reader that I don't want to be disrespectful to him in any way or romanticize anything that will happen in terms of mental illness or fights ect.
> 
> Since it is a story, I see him in this case as a character just like the fictional characters i created, that doesn't mean that I believe he would do something just because I write it ( although I try to write as close to reality as possible).
> 
> please don't assume that i'm writing this story, and the main is actually just a form of myself, no i don't want to insert myself, nor my interests/preferences in any thing.I try to investigate everything I don't know myself, as good as possible. Therefore I would be very happy about serious criticism etc.
> 
> I made a Pinterst Board for this Story, if u wanna check out: pin.it/XqAZWS7)

The crowd pushed past me from all sides, everyone was in a hurry, a chaos of words was speaking around me. "Translated this, my name Oxana" the monotonous voice woke me from my rigidity, I turned my cell phone back to "My name is Oxana" curious I waited for the green check, but it did not appear crappy thing, nervously I stuffed my cell phone in my coat pocket and grabbed my suitcase, running in the direction I thought the exit. My cell phone vibrated -Incoming call from Angie- I picked up

"Hey"

"Where are you?" I turned my eyes, looking left and right before running down a hallway, dragging my suitcase heavy behind me. "Inside the building, I'm doing my best to get out quickly, come down" her snort could even be heard through the line, that a little grin crept up on my lips.

A businessman walked past me, talking on his phone, taking heavy, loud steps " I just don't understand this stupid language" I moaned, walking faster "I guess you'll have to get used to it" 

"Wow thanks, what a tip"

"you are welcome" the other one giggled quietly, "See you soon" I hung up , made the machine disappear again. My hair flew behind my shoulder, the looks of those around me burned on my skin, every step I took made aware. Finally I reached the exit, and when the automatic door released me into the cold February air, everything was suddenly much darker, the LED lights from the building not even reaching five meters into the night. I saw someone, someone I knew only too well. " What, don't I get a hug?" I laughed the green-haired, white smoke following my words, as she shook her head, but still came to me and took me in her arms. 

"Hi" 

"Hi" at that moment it had felt as if not five years had passed since we had seen each other, her smell enveloping me. "I missed you" I mumbled into her jacket, the pressure on my shoulder increased, we slowly separated again. In the twilight of the street lamp, her eyes shined at me, and when a small tear ran down her cheek, it was hastily wiped away and she turned around. "We have a lot to do" she said and ran ahead across the small sidewalk, only the loud crunch of my suitcase rolls between us, not many people were to be seen anymore and it seemed almost spooky when a taxi rushed past us, and around the corner disappeared as soon as we arrived at her car. 

"give me your suitcase" under my protests, she lifted it into the trunk, the whole car groaning, which she did not care about, closed the trunk with a loud bang and got in. "Kiddo get in" the side door opened, her hand making an inviting movement, I threw myself into the passenger seat, closing the door behind me. Silence suddenly spread again, so we both sat there, in the dark car, shivering , in what felt like a thousand degrees below zero. A long sigh escaped Angie, and she let the engine start "Let's start your new life then, shall we?"

She then concentrated on getting out of the parking lot, when we were driving on some kind of main road or something like that, she took the word "Because of the job" there she had my full attention "I'll just take you with me today" nodding violently on my side "The faster I can help you with the rent the better" 

"Don't talk nonsense" she reached out, But I missed my shoulder, we almost drove into another car "Man Angelina watch out" and with a shifted voice I scolded, which brought me another angry look, but she couldn't look at me like that for a long time and we broke out in laughter. 

"everything here looks so much nicer" I said, looking out of the window at the passing scenery, not that I have been here before.

"Dallas must be more exciting than here"

"But uglier" 

In the background was the radio playing, so Angie spent most of the time after that humming the lyrics while I watched my breathing at the window, only understanding single word of what people were singing. The screen of my cell phone lit up, -new message from Meredith-, I turned the phone around, begging inside that she would finally leave me alone, gluing my gaze to an indefinable point. Our car slowed down until we turned into a narrower street, but I was left with the sight of neither the dimmed light of the occasional street lamps nor what seemed to come out of the restaurant we had stopped in front of. "Just wait two seconds" the green-haired one jumped out of the car and disappeared close to the store to open a gate, which turned out to be Entrance to the backyard, because when we parked there and got out, she closed it again.

I, in turn, struggled with my suitcase, which had made itself a bit too comfortable in the trunk, and was now stuck. "Come on, let me help you" Angie jogged back to me, pulling me at the hip so that we had more power on the stupid thing and pulled him out of his prison with concentrated female power. 

"It looks cozy here" I murmured more to myself as we passed an overfilled garbage can, Angie opened the back door and pushed me into a tight stairwell. The staircase was only narrow, moonlight shining through the floor level windows leading the way and our footsteps echoing loudly up to the third and last floor. There was a jingling and not much later my friend opened another door for me, holding it open as I entered her apartment with difficulty. 

The parquet floor muffled all sounds and I watched as fine dust danced in the light, leaving my suitcase in the middle of the small hallway so that Angie had to squeeze past me to get me into the living room, if you could call it that. Because when we entered said room, a sofa overfilled with pillows and blankets and a bookcase caught my eye, yielding to the weight of the books on it and bending down to the point of nearly breaking . "Feels like home" I grinned, one arm and the shoulder of the other laying. "You're crazy," she just shook it off again. "Do you want to drink?" she asked, heading for the corner of the room where a gas stove that had its best years long ago was standing, and I noticed the bare gray patches shimmering several times under the dirty white coating. "If you have water" that was at least all I could see from the windowsill I had sat on. A water bottle flew towards me "Ahh fuck" right into my stomach.

The green-haired girl strolled back to the couch, dropped herself on it, catapulting down a pillow, which joined some magazines on the floor. "When do you have to leave ?" I asked, as my gaze fell on the keyboard, which stood in a corner, unlike the rest of the furniture, neat and cleanly shining. "Ten minutes then we'll go," I nodded, returning to what was happening outside the window. A couple was walking on the sidewalk, walking close together, having a good conversation. "By the way, the guest room is the best I can give you," said the elder, her voice misting up from whatever she was drinking. 

"I'll take anything, you know how"

"How grateful I am for this" she mimicked me, then gave me a cheeky grin, and I laughed softly "Yes" and sighed "Because I am thankful to you", thus I lost visual contact with the couple and got up, stretching my arms far from me in the process until it cracked.

"Such a shitty flight "

"I mean 14 hours is a lot"

"Yeah and my Dumbass forgot the pillow" I mumbled as I walked across the room.

"I'm going to check the apartment now, maybe I'll find something"

"What do you want to find? "Angelina asked, watching me.

"Porn or something, I don't know" I shrugged my and opened the first door. 

I paused for a moment before I said "Honestly" and closed the door again "How did you get that tub squeezed in there?" the answer was simply "I just like bathing ok?" and I shook my head, drinking a big sip of my water, taking a deep breath as I opened the next door. 

The room, like everything else in the apartment, was small, but actually the cleanest. A mattress, covered in dark blue was laying in one corner in front of a heater. I released the door handle and went deeper into it. "Thats your room" it sounded from the living room, how did she know where I was? The fabric of my coat piled up as soon as I sat down, I closed my eyes tired, took a deep breath, and opened them again, saying "Don't fake fatigue" to myself. 

Staring at the shelf opposite me, it was empty. Even the small cabinet that stood in another corner, empty, the lamp that was slowly gathering dust, the flower on the windowsill, plastic. At my next step, which I took through, now my, room, I almost fell, when the runner slipped under me, and I lost my balance. "shit" I straightened the blue piece of fabric, cursing.

"Shall we then?" I rejoined my friend, who hadn't moved an inch since I had disappeared. "Yup" she started to shift, she was already standing next to me, her gaze softened as she measured the difference in size with her hand. "That's only two more inches, then I've got you" I grumbled as a grin appeared on her face "Forget it" it grew bigger "Don't you say it" "Shortie" as the words rolled of her tounge, in a heavy accent like always, I hit her and turned my back on her laughter Her hand grabbed mine and she pulled me out of the apartment as if I was a toddler who didn't want to go to school "Off to the bar".

Of course, it's freezing outside, I haven't even been in this country for an hour, but no, we have to go to the bar... I wouldn't be surprised if I had to start working today.

"Got a cigarette?" I grumbled, rummaging in my jacket pocket for my lighter, as we left the backyard and walked out onto the sidewalk, making our way along an empty main street. "L&M if you want" I nodded, and a little later I got one in my hand. Once I had made my poison bomb glow, I took a deep breath and blew it towards the cold wind. It was quiet between the two of us, only a few cars drove past us now and then. We just crossed another street, bawling half grown men coming towards us. "Friday evening we're going to have a party" Angie giggled and caught up with me again, taking my arm as we passed by. "tell me" I thought "don't you only have to play on weekends?" she nodded "first week is jazz night" and groaned, "at least you'll be able to keep me company soon, it's so lonely on stage" I nodded "anything you want" we turned off and stood in front of a store, red neon lights were shining towards me "last call bar" I murmured.

Angie first, we went through the door, which squeaked slightly when moving and as if by chance, we had to go through a corridor and into the basement again. Smoke or dust was swirling around, with every step we took down the stairs, the light bulbs swaying barely off the original brick walls didn't really help. "A bit spooky for a bar, isn't it?" I didn't get an answer.

Finally we reached the bottom, and immediately warm air came towards me, mixed with the smell of old whiskey. "Lewvyn, I'm here" Angie shouted something of which I understood very little, but on her call an old man came out from behind the bar. "Hurry up, we'll open soon" he threw a cloth over his shoulder, giving us both a rather stern look. "Oxana, I'll just go and get changed, tell Lewvyn to give you the list, will you?" I nodded, not really being focused, more staring at the piano that was further back in the room, the stool in front of him literally waiting for someone to play. The green-haired one disappeared, leaving me standing alone in the room. When I noticed that, I turned to the counter and ran across to the bar, sat down on a bar stool and put my arm on the dark wood and said "I am Oxana". 

The bearded one looked at me for a moment before he answered

"The one Angie told me about? "

"there aren't many Oxanas singing here, are there?"I grinned, brushing my black hair back, praying inside that he understood my twisted Ukrainian "no" he said, actually smiling slightly. I breathed a sigh of relief, Vibe check passed.

"I should ask you for the... the list" I said, a little hesitant when I couldn't think of a word, my grin never left my lips. Without a word, the old man disappeared into the back room, leaving me completely alone in the store, which I took as an opportunity to look around better, the bricks, were a good accent to the very dark interior, especially the railings that separated the different seating groups from each other, some of them full of locks, had a certain something. 

"Here" a page was laying in front of me, as soon as I turned around again "Mainly English but also Ukrainian, you should learn the language " I drew my eyebrows together "until next weekend, you have to fill two hours from ten o'clock in the night" I nodded slowly, I have no idea what he just said.

"Here I am again" my gaze separated from the sheet and landed on my friend, "The blazer suits you" she just staggered, "How long do we have left?" she turned to her boss "Five minutes" the green-haired girl nodded "can you give me a coke and her" the gaze fell on me " Irish cream coffee ?"

Suddenly someone stood there.

"Holy shit" I flinched as Angie laughed at me, I realized that the girl was a co-worker, by her black shirt and matching pants, as well as the one named Sign, while I thought so, said girl had made me the drinks, and pushed them in front of me "Sorry..." I tried to read what the name was "Jana" she helped me "I'm really sorry, I didn't see anything" she just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"So you are the singer? "she asked curiously later while I tried to take both drinks to one of the corners so I could start "working" in peace. "How...? But yes" I said, finally arrived.

"Angie told me proudly" I gave the older one a bad look, but she didn't notice because she was just finishing the lighting for the stage "don't have high expectations" I laughed "I'm not Beyonce" but the brown-haired one didn't seem to notice either. Then the first people came in, all in a good mood as it seemed and Jana did her job welcoming the people and taking their orders.

In between Angie played the first song, the mood in the room was so warm and pleasant that I did not want to leave. Which I logically didn't do, but started typing all the songs into my cell phone and created a playlist. I even knew some of the songs, "can't pretend" was one of them. Finally I finished what I had to do, put my mobile back on the table and sipped my drink, which had become lukewarm in the meantime. From another corner of the room you could hear, loud laughter, and helpless gasps for air, someone kept hitting his leg, but I didn't understand anything, even others in the bar were smiling, or giggling, I sighed loudly, "Damn".

Footsteps came in my direction, when I raised my head, there was the green-haired woman standing there, making a hand movement, on which I slid a little to one side, so she could sit next to me on the red cushion. "Everything okay?" I asked, pushing the other glass over to her. "Yes everything's fine, just" her eyes fell on my cell phone "One hour then we can go again" "Doesn't sound like fun" she nodded "Of course, alone it's exhausting" I took a deep drag from the alcohol, wanting to drink my tiredness away. "Would you like some more?" Jana suddenly stood beside us again, I almost screamed "Damn, where do you always come from?" laughing, she just shrugged her shoulder, Angie answered her in Ukrainian "No all good" and gave her an uninterpretable smile before the girl continued her job.

"She didn't understand me, did she?", the older one nodded timidly.

"Shiteeee" my head landed on the table, my arms over it. Angie patted my back "It's going to be okay, kid" and ruffled my hair "You said yourself that new beginnings are hard" the bench moved briefly, then I heard her walk, probably back to play. Grumbling, I sat up straight again and listened to the soft sound of her music, thinking about her words in the back of my head. New beginnings... again someone laughed, I couldn't tell from where, the light seemed dimmed more than before. My hands looked much more ghostly because of the red, the ring on the right shimmering pale.

Don't give up, you can do it, I told myself, of course I can, a smile formed on my lips and time passed, Angie sat next to me again, and we emptied our glasses. Something changed, the feeling of just being there flew by, we both laughed, got up and left, eyes burning in our backs. Everything felt right, we were both smiling , her arm around my shoulder made me feel at home, her laugh in my ears made the worries disappear, everything was perfect.

Meanwhile it was pitch dark outside, the air was even colder, no more light, we walked through the streets, nobody destroyed this moment. The deadly smoke flew out of my mouth far up into freedom, but disappeared as fast as I had taken the next drag. In front of the gate I kicked out my cigarette, followed the other one into the backyard, later we both snuck up the stairs, because as she had told me, several students who urgently needed their sleep lived here.

Only when the door was closed behind us did I groan, "Do you want something to eat?" We took off our shoes, threw them next to the door, the jackets hanging untidily on a single heel. "No, I'm going to brush my teeth and then go to bed. It's late."I looked at the clock "o-one o'clock" Angie nodded, then disappeared into the living room "You know where the bathroom is" 

I shuffled into my new room, welcomed by stuffy air. So the first thing I did was to step on my mattress and open the window over there wide and let the cold air flow towards me. Accordingly, I hurried to open my suitcase, limiting the space for walking in the room to one foot. I hastily pushed a few clothes aside until I finally found my change of clothes and toothbrush. The floor creaked slightly, and with a glance into the room of Angie, who was hanging in bed a book in her hand, I locked the bathroom door behind me.

Quickly I slipped out of my turtleneck sweater, my bra following not much later.

"Finally breathing again"satisfied I put on a simple top. 

The fabric snuggled gently to my figure. I slowly fought my way out of my pants, leaving light red marks on my hips, my face cramped when I slid over it.

For a moment I looked into the tiny mirror, my hip tattoo standing out in the dim light. Carefully I put on a pair of short pants and finally threw my socks on the pile of laundry. The toothbrush in my mouth, I held on to the edge of the sink with the other hand, my black hair slipping into my view. 

Finished with the rest of the washing, I sneaked back to my room, throwing the laundry at the foot of the bed. "Good night Kid" the green-haired one stood in the door frame, the white fabric of her shirt flowing down her sides, beaming white "Night" she gave me a vague smile before she yawned loudly and disappeared.

Something wet touched my shoulder, when I turned around I noticed it.

Outside it was drizzling.

Sighing I sat down on my mattress, leaning on the windowsill, my face in the rain, eyes closed. The air that rose into my nose hit me right in the heart, forming a vision before my eyes.

There I sat, exactly at the same place, someone had his head on my shoulder, when I leaned back my gaze met with the ice blue, magic eyes that reflected the rain. The gentle grip around my hip became tighter, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, quite close together we swayed back and forth. 

But when I opened my eyes again, I was alone, goose bumps all over me. I closed the window and hid under my blanket, my cold hands pressed as close to my chest as possible. 


	2. Ｗｈａｔ Ｉ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｇｉｖｅ ｔｏ ｂｅ ａ Ｂｉｒｄ

" Yeah, and then the duck started to attack me" Angelina spread her arms angrily, almost knocking the bowl over. "Wow" I stared at her from below for a while, stuck to her socks, which were stretched across the small TV table in my face. The other one exhaled loudly through her nose and stuffed a spoonful of her cereal into her mouth, "I hate to die in a dream" with her mouth full she muttered that " Do you think the duck killed you? " I meant, emptying another cup of coffee, taking a look outside, the frost on the window pane not stopping me from seeing some pigeons passing by, "Well," she swallowed loud "I woke up when it was there" I just shrugged my shoulders, "What time is it?" muttering, instinctively reaching for my cell phone, which was still in my room, and I only touched the carpet next to me.

"Did you say something?" Angie asked, scraping the last remains from the bowl " nope". Slowly my limbs obeyed the order to get up, so I made my way into the kitchen and put my bowl to the pan, several plates and cutlery in the sink, later bringing the whole pot of coffee back to the living room.The black liquid filled my cup, and I stared at the river, digressing from what I wanted to do, listening to music from the outdated radio, which was on the floor a little further away. "Do you have normal newspaper?" I asked, then taking a deep sip of the miracle potion, which made its way pleasantly warm through my body."Of course it must be somewhere... wait" Angie stood up immediately, and later I only heard a dull sound, she had to search very intensively. Slowly my legs left the feeling and the warm cup on my thigh burned through my sweatpants like fire. "Got it!" in victory pose my friend came back in and stopped when she saw me "Is something out there? " and followed my gaze outside, tore me out of my spell with it "Sorry no all is good, I... oh doesn't matter" sighing loudly I drove with my free hand through my face, the newspaper falling in front of me, mumbling "thank you" the green-haired woman sat back on the couch, turning on her cell phone.

"Chornomorski Novyny, Saturday 3/02/2018" it was written there in capital letters,"I'm going to unpack and all that," I said, rolling up the newspaper and like an old grandfather clamping it under my arm and balancing the coffee in the other hand, "Hm what?" an eye roll later and with cracking wrists I leaned my door behind me, putting the coffee in front of the open window on the windowsill. The newspaper landed on the pile of bed sheets, and I turned to my suitcase, which was actually completely stuffed in the way. Looking for my headphones, I rummaged around in my bag, which somehow still fitted into the room, and put on the playlist, the first track that came to me was

"I've had a throwback to our place. That's how I met you face to face. Oh ooh Oh ooh Restraint to say hello" 

slightly swinging in the tack, I opened the closet door, seeing a miserable emptiness. 

"Far away from your knives. Of your hopes and your tries. From your misery vibes. They burn me down from inside. I didn't see I was blind"

the first things disappeared in the drawers, I hummed softly. I don't know if it was the bad English or the lyrics, maybe just the voice of the singer, something made him sympathetic to me. I pulled a dress out of my suitcase, the red fabric completely crumpled and the folds more than clearly visible, I sighed and threw it on my mattress. In the process of cleaning my suitcase, there were too many pieces that I couldn't put on in this way, almost half of them lying on my bed instead of in the closet. At least I could close the suitcase and let it disappear empty on the wood.

Leaving a pair of headphones around my shoulder, I came into the living room, Angie was sitting in front of the window, playing her piano with headphones on. The muffled sounds were no comparison to what was probably going on in her headphones, the older ones' hands just flying over the keys. With cautious steps I approached the other one, waiting for her to finish before I tapped her on the shoulder.

"Say" she turned slightly towards me, hands in her lap "I have some clothes that I have to iron and wash" briefly her gaze lay on me as if she had seen a ghost, with my gestures I made, then her features brightened again "Oh! Yes, washing machine is in the kitchen" I said "Kitchen?"

"I didn't have a place to put it", logically, my eyes fell back on the shelf, which looked even more full in the bright light than it did last night "is there anything else you need?" the green-haired one turned away "the iron?" and faltered "I'll take care of it, don't worry kid" I couldn't tell if that's what she meant at first or not, but it was too late to ask because she was practicing again.

As I went back to my room and walked into the kitchen with my laundry on my arm, I thought, no matter how strange this woman might seem to others, she was one of the most talented pianists for me, and probably the hardest working woman I knew, not that I cared much about it.

With swing the laundry flew into the drum, because I didn't have to worry about the colors mixing, a bunch of red laundry, one with black. Maybe I just chose the clothing style because it is easier to wash, who knows, a little smile on my lips I turned on the machine which showed me that it will probably leave me alone for the next 2 hours. That I could comfortably take care of other stuff, started to solve the problems in my room, notepad, highlighter and newspaper. My playlist were now on the Ukrainian or Russian part. Meanwhile I had arrived at a text with the headline "Why you should hike in the snowy Carpathians"

But with the voice of a woman in my ears and the catchy chorus of her song, I could not really concentrate, thought that the next sentence something like "The dotted streets are on the white mountains with background to see" confused I stared at the sentence, then sent it again through my translated "the roads are lines on the white background of the mountain " ok that made more sense. Since I was seriously planning to learn the language, I turned off my headphones and let my eyes fly over the sentences, then translated each one as best I could on my block, checking the one with the translated one, sipping my coffee on the side, or putting on a cigarette, and enjoying it hanging out of the window, careful not to fall out, in the alley below me no one would find me.

Time went by,  
BEEP.  
It came from outside my room,   
BEEP BEEP ,   
Angie will take care of it,   
BEEEP, although...  
BEEEEP, 

"I got it, you stupid motherfucking thing, I'm coming" 

I threw the blanket off me, stomped to the source of the noise, being pissed because the washing machine BE- "Oh fuck me" I hit the button, and the door flew open, but I closed it again immediately, and let my clothes go on a roller coaster for eight minutes.

"Hey" the older one shuffled into the kitchen, stood in front of the fridge and after a short but intense look pulled out a white package, which I guess was yogurt. The clock on the wall showed half past two noon, I sighed "I'm bored" screeching as I threw myself on the couch. The other sat outside the window staring at her cell phone, not reacting at all. So I preferred to turn to the memory that this couch and I shared, for example how I had to slept here for a week , and was so tense that I later got scolded by the doctor, because such a back sprain is not by nothing.

A cushion was in my grip, I moved my hand over the surface and closed my eyes briefly.

~A gray cat lay on my arm, I sat on a... on a bed, white sheets around me, its purring flew through the room, something moved next to me, someone yawned softly, put an arm around me, pulled himself closer to me, and slept peacefully on.~

"Oxana?" I was startled, opened my eyes, "Are you that tired?" "No, not really" I couldn't read her eyes, "the washing machine has been beeping the whole time" I just nodded, BEEP, "I hate this thing" I groaned, finding a laundry basket on my way, which I took into the kitchen, later on I was standing in the living room again with the full basket "Stand is in my room" she wiped the yogurt off her chin "The stand? " a grin came over my face, she just sent me an annoyed look "Laundry stand" she said, "You're a real pain in the ass" I moaned, and got the stand, which I brought to a standstill with a few difficulties, took the first top out of the basket, shook out the wet piece of cloth and then hung it up, that's how I did it with my pants, blouses and sweaters, while Angelina watched me from the side.

"can I already put the next one in or do you need it now?" I asked, as soon as the basket was empty, only getting a shake of the head as an answer, so I stuffed my red clothes in. 

What now? Time passed, my tasks, if you could call it that, were all done and it was time for Angie to get ready. 

"See you later, yeah?" she stood in the doorway, a bag hung around her shoulder, just about to tie her shoes. " Yeah yeah all good" my eyes could not separate from the screen where one of the Thor parts was running. Loki came to the picture "Holy... He's there Angie!There he is!" she knew who I meant, smiled crookedly when she asked me about my fondness for such guys "Just the type of prey, edgy dudes with black hair" with my middle finger raised high I answered "tell the right one" the discussion went on for a while, but when the other one noticed what time it was she ran out the door, calling a hasty " goodbye " over her shoulder before the door closed.

Afraid she might get run over, I looked through the window into the street and watched Angie walk around the next corner to the main street, the movie stopped in the background. 

"what are we going to do now?" I asked in the room, but logically there was no answer. A little bit helpless I looked through the room, not finding anything that caught my interest. Selfcare time, I thought, and got myself my sleeping clothes, and change of underwear, plus a pair of cuddly socks and ran into the bathroom.

But I turned around and searched in every possible closet until I found bathroom cleaner, and went back into the bathroom armed with it, spraying the whole tub with it, while the effect was also directly wiping over the whole sink again, until at least the pink coloring "coating" called mold had disappeared. Imagine having to take a bath in something like that, all my hair stood up, that I quickly left the room, brought the things back, and later the milky windows opened a crack, the stench of the cleaner hanging thick in the air. Starting to scrub, I knelt in front of the tub, annoyed about why I had started, the stuff was more persistent than the thoughts in my head, but just go over it with a shower head, did not wash it away, the mold did.

Finally clean I let water in, found a sample for bath water, in the lowest cupboard, which immediately colored the water milky green, quietly I let music play, locked the door before I got out of my clothes, carefully, right foot first into the hot water. I sat down with a sigh, leaning my head against the wall, letting warm water run over my face. The slow bass music, the strange noises from outside, everything made my situation seem unreal. When was the last time I was able to bathe in peace? 

All I could remember was:

"Oxana! Wherever you are, come out" my father suddenly stood in my apartment while I was lying in the bathtub, "You are so fucking due" and had opened the bathroom door before I could do anything.

I quickly disappeared beneath the surface, shaking off my thoughts. Carefully I reached for the shampoo, massaging my scalp as I washed my hair. I had locked the door, had I? Immediately my gaze rushed to the door, but I had, kept on washing. 

Then I sat in the water with my legs drawn to my chest, my head on my knees, imagining how arms would hold me, making me feel safe. I imagined the smell of the person enveloping me. Damn it, I felt alone. 

After a while, when my hands looked like an old grandmother's, I got out of the water and grabbed the next towel, left the water off, and sat down on the toilet lid.My gaze fixed on the tiles, what can you do against being lonely? It crossed my mind because Angie won't want me around all the time and besides, being alone is lonely."Exactly, it's my fault".

My feet froze, my legs couldn't stand still anymore, so I dried myself, changed my clothes, but something got in the way, my reflection. My brown roots becoming clearly visible through the black color. I put shopping on my to-do list for the next week, tying my hair up in a messy bun so that as little of the brown as possible was visible. I stumbled into my room, wrapping myself under my blanket, bringing my PC to me and turning it on.

Outside, a bird flew by, floating elegantly through the air, more majestic than humans could ever be. What would I do to be able to fly.

The machine started, and after asking for the password, I waited years until Google opened. I wrote "Bilingual jobs Odessa city center" in the search bar. I knew that nothing really interesting was coming, the homepages mostly so outdated that I didn't know what to do, eleven pm, I have to hurry, otherwise Angie will come back. Scrolling further through the fifth page of Google, I came across, one page. "No Doze Cafe" sounds more sympathetic than the several strip clubs, with more desperation than hope I clicked on the link, watched over the edge of my cup as the page opened. "something can't be right" I murmured, there was a free place, the store was just around the corner, you only have to come to the interview on Monday. "it stinks to high heaven, I don't trust it" even the evaluations were decent, several students went there, it was not far from their place of study. With my eyebrows drawn together, I sent my application, letting the laptop slowly slide from my lap. 

The curtains fluttered slightly as a breeze came in, goose bumps ran down my face, and suddenly the catchy tune of noon was back, my gaze on the dark night sky, the sun long gone. 

"How is it that I, How is it that I haven't been able to stop myself in time, all is quite clear"

I picked out the lyrics of the song I had so carefully copied, 

"With me right now and forever, it's too late not to go Do not leave me"

I closed my eyes, eyebrows under Control as I produced the sounds, the words falling too dull from my lips. But I didn't want to give up that fast, with a piano cover in the background, later on the karaoke sounds, I sang it, again and again.

The sounds went into my blood, with every breath I didn't give off air but feelings, with every breath I pumped not only blood but also passion through my body

"Who are you? - You have taken my life"

Passion that you could feel even without correct Ukrainian,

"I will not give up without a fight"

my hands were no longer on my blanket, they were expressing what I was trying to say, but that was not enough. The song played from the beginning, and again and again and again until I had a recording that I was satisfied with. 

"half past eleven" the clock on the kitchen wall ticked away quietly as I sat on the countertop, nipping at an energy, sighing slightly when I realized how rough I had sung my voice. My cell phone lit up -new instagram post- so it made me lie on the sofa for the next while, scrolling through images that you knew couldn't be real. Just as I was about to get upset about really bad Photoshop, random steps through the staircase.

That I turned to the door, which was soon unlocked, a completely done Angie approaching me. "You look terrible- Is that Chinese?!" the other one just handed me the plastic bag, disappeared in the hallway and a well-known scent rose into my nose. "Fried noodles?!" the older one planted herself next to me, handing me a fork. So we cuddled up under a blanket, watching one of the Twilight movies, simply because it was tradition. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

The price for this was, however, waking up the next morning with each other's feet under my nose. "Hmm" groaning I turned to "wait..." the other one was not lying next to me on the couch, "Hey you" but on the magazines and pillows on the floor. "What do you want?" it grumbled, like hell "Everything okay?" I flopped back into my position, pulling the blanket closer to my chin with the next breath of wind. "No but never mind" it rustled, and the sound of bare feet receded, later a door closed, a lock snapped shut. Outside, two birds were fighting a fierce duel in who-can-Oxana-get-more-on-the-nerves and the sunlight was burning my cheek "Fuck it" so there was no point in sleeping anyway.

Again I sat up, shuffled into my room, just to watch the news and put on some socks. -a new e-mail- I looked at the screen in amazement, am I still dreaming?

"we would be very interested in a conversation" 

a fat grin spread across my face, a squeak escaped me.

"Angie!"

"What's that?" she yelled back annoyed "I almost have a job!" I sprinted into the kitchen, "damn, it's too early for this" she drove over her nose bone.

" what does almost mean?" I fell around the other one's neck "well almost" and "we'll drink coffee first ? "she gave me a little smile, and a cup pressed into my hands. Later we both squeezed ourselves in front of the wide open window "Now once again in slowly yes?" 

Her hair flowed past her arm, on which she had placed her head "I told you I need a job" she slowly released white smoke, eyes closed, am I annoying? "Well, I guess I've got one now"

I abruptly turned away from her staring up, face in one hand, I should help more, then I can't be a burden to her. Her deep growl and a nudge later I had the cigarette in my hand, hoping that my lungs would not fail yet when the singing of the birds started again.

Immediately, the others' eyes softened "What I would give to fly" and sent a sigh behind them "Mhm", my eyes followed the little brown feathered bird up to the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3398 words
> 
> the lyrics I used are from the song «Без бою» by Океан Ельзи but i have the English lyrics in the text, just to clarify 
> 
> i am already looking forward to the next chapters ;)
> 
> anyways, i try to update every tuesday or wednesday , but i can't promise anything.
> 
> Criticism, opinion or a vote are always welcome.
> 
> till next time~ <3


	3. Ｃｏｎｆｕｓｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｗｈａｔ ｗｅ ｃａｌｌ ｄｒｅａｍｓ

WOSH, a car raced past me, followed by a breeze that put my collar back up. I threw my cigarette next to me on the sidewalk, then wrapped my coat tighter around me, taking a trembling breath. The things you do to get to a job interview on time, I thought to myself as my cell phone tried to send me to the wrong street again."Do you really think I'm blind?" I scolded with the device in my hand, walking straight ahead, the damn store was not far away.

My headphones wobbled with every step in front of my neck, the song I was listening to was barely noticeable, the work traffic was much too loud, the bikes were constantly ringing behind me, announcing a cyclist rushing past me or maybe someone else running past me to get the train. Finally the message from my cell phone appeared - you have reached your destination - and to the right of me, a small store, large windows framed in dark green wood. A sign hung in the door. "Closed for today" fortunately with an English translation underneath, that even I had understood. As a precaution I knocked, took a few steps back and waited. Meanwhile I rolled up my headphones, reached into my inside pocket, papers successfully in hand, nothing forgotten.

Something was moving behind the door and I saw someone rushing to it, soon a man stood opposite me, the door in one hand, the other hand stretched out to me. "I am Jeff Corner, just call me Jeff, and you must be..." hearing English here was so pleasant "Oxana" I smiled at him, shaking his hand . "Oxana come in" he went back to the store and I followed, the warmth and the smell of coffee beans welcoming me. "Do you want a drink? You can hang up your jacket over there" he stood opposite me, pulling on one of his grey sweater sleeves. " if I could have a cappuccino" a heavy nod later he disappeared behind the counter, and you could hear a machine waking up from its sleep. I slipped out of my coat and hung it up to the place Jeff had shown me, taking my papers and phone with me, sitting at the table where most likely his PC was. "Here please" a cup was handed to me, and he sat down at the table as well.For a moment there was silence, I was drinking and he was typing on his PC, studying the papers I had put on the table before he spoke. 

"So Oxana" my eyes turned to him "You have applied for this job here, right" I nodded "I would be interested to know why and I don't mean that you need money, everyone who is looking for a job needs it" I smiled "but why right here, you could have gone anywhere" his hands were folded on the oak table, his look neither soft nor stern. "Hmm" I leaned on my elbows on the table, "A big factor was that you speak English, and your page was neatly designed" he suppressed a laugh, "Besides, I like coffee" the smile crept back to my lips, he typed something on his PC. That I took a hasty look at my cleavage to see if my blouse was still sitting where it should be. "When would you want to work?" he asked further, Why so fast, do I have the job? "Except for the weekends in the evenings I am open for everything" I added "Because I work in a bar there," when he gave me a slightly checking look and said "Have you been a Barista before?" I shook my head, "You can learn that quickly" he said, typing again. "and you have no problem with work clothes?"

"You look like someone fashion-conscious, so of course not" we both smiled again, my hair flew behind my shoulder. Another sip of my coffee. He put his round glasses back in place, muttering something quietly to himself. "I'll be right back, two seconds okay?" and straightened up, running somewhere, without me having a chance to answer.

My gaze wandered through the room, from outside I hadn't seen the beautiful little decorations and seat covers that appeared in all shades of green, the light wood made the room much friendlier, I liked it here. It created exactly the atmosphere one would wish for to be able to work in peace, at least that's what I would wish for as a student, not that I would know how it felt to study. 

" I am back again" The boss came in , with his joyful, almost exhilarating steps, a few brown curls bounced in front of his forehead. He put a pile of things in front of me, on top of it several papers. "I'd love to give you the job," he added as he ran off again with my empty cup. At the top, the contract, which was short, there weren't many rules, I put aside, we'll get to that later, then a work plan prepared for the summer vacations, and finally a small dark green apron, with a small pocket for these little notebooks, for orders. 

"So what do you say?" 

"If I get a pen, we're in business," so I got a pen, while I was signing, he kept on talking "I don't know if this is going to work out, but I'm going to try to make this a 24/7 coffee store by the end of the year, would you be open to help out?" I just shrugged my shoulders "So I should start on Monday?" I pushed the sheet to "Yup".

"well..." I took my papers back, and folded my plan together. "See you next Monday" he got up too, accompanied me to the door where I put my coat on, put all my things in my pockets. With a last glance out of the window, I turned back to him and said "Do you think you can lend me an umbrella?" A little later I had an umbrella that was seriously needed, it had started raining cats and dogs. I couldn't get my cell phone out, so Google maps had to guide me through headphones while the rain practically fell on my head. 

There was no wind, I didn't get very wet. Only when I stepped into every puddle I saw on purpose, my boots were a bit soaked. The smile on my lips couldn't disappear, and a melody swung over my lips, I didn't remember what it was from. "Turn right now, then left, and you've reached your destination." I was standing in front of the gate, digging for the key I got from Angie when I had hastily woken her up this morning.

Later I walked through the stairwell, shaking out my umbrella, leaving a small water trail behind me. Ripping open the door I called "Bitches I'm back" into the apartment, no answer. Exhaling loudly, I shook my shoes off my feet, that they landed in front of the small heater, I put the umbrella next to it, with my papers and cell phone out of my coat I ran into the living room, and threw myself on the sofa. "I have a job" my head fell back on the backrest, the grin almost painful. My eyes closed, the relation hit me, now everything is there, the beginning for a new, better life which I don't have to regret again.

My eyes opened again, and I got up, walking into the kitchen, where a yellow message on the fridge said "I'll be shopping later, write me if you need anything else <3", a look through the contents of the entire kitchen I pulled out my cell phone typing "Bring cookies, you know which ones I mean, right? And Energy xo" after that almost nothing happened anymore, well I took off my make-up again, as always, I couldn't get the lipstick off completely, it can't be healthy if it stains so much, anyhow, at some point Angie finally came, carrying a big shopping bag through the entrance.

"Whose umbrella is that?" she asked as I took the shopping away from her "My boss" she faltered, her gaze fixed on the umbrella "Lewvyn...? Wait..." she suddenly jumped up and said "You got the job???" and fell around my neck "I got the job"

Due to the time we put the stuff away, the refrigerator looked like it was going to make a living, I told her what I had been doing all this time, and we both talked about the weather "I mean I like rain but, so much? And all of a sudden?" I pulled a candle out of the basket, which was empty with it "the only thing annoying is that it stopped so early" "didn't you used to collect rainwater?" she laughed, folding up the bag "yes...used to" I escaped her eyes and stared out the window "seriously? Still?" and rolled her eyes, "Fuck you" she laughed again.

We spent the rest of the day watching Criminal Minds for the most part, and I devoted myself to the daily paper while she strummed her piano, without headphones, the soothing sounds echoing through the narrow spaces, I let the pencil drop. I had hung over the paper for too long, my neck protested as I let myself fall back onto my pillow. A nap wouldn't hurt, would it? 

~The piercing blue eyes, I only knew them before, they stared into my soul, breath on my skin, fingers so soft on my sides that it seemed like an illusion. The smell in my nose, so attractive, I wanted to move, touch the person, no muscle followed my wish, I wanted to talk, scream finally wanting an answer, nothing, my lips remained sealed. The other one had a bad grin on his lips, his head on my shoulder, breathing on the place between neck and shoulder. Air got stuck in my throat, I could not move.~

"damn" And I was awake again. I stared at the ceiling, massaging my temples, grumbling. "Angie?" For a moment it was quiet,

"What is it?" 

"Didn't you have a book on dream interpretation?" I crawled up, rolling my warmer one down from my belly "Yes must be here somewhere" so I made my way to the living room, met Angie who was lying on the couch with a big red book. "What are you reading there?" I asked, kneeling down in front of the shelf "Cookbook" she just muttered. "Do you have something to eat?!" but I didn't get an answer. My gaze glided over the spines of the book, carefully reading every name, there must be one somewhere, oh fifty Shades of Grey..., never mind, on the top shelf there was a blue outdated book, lying on the back hidden from me. When I pulled it out and let off the dust, you could also decipher the title " Dream Interpretation". 

With the book I sat down in front of the big window and turned the first page open, -contents- "Making new acquaintances with people in my sleep" I hastily looked up the page, "To get to know new people in a dream is an indication that the dreamer is currently intensively occupied with himself. Among other things, he asks himself how he affects others, although in this context he should not neglect his own interests and needs. It is important both to maintain a good relationship with one's environment and to maintain one's own personality at its core." This could not be everything, although it does make sense. So I turned back to the table of contents, searched the lines with my finger "Looking for the closeness to people" that sounds better "Did the dream symbol "closeness to people" appear to you? Dreams of these situations have two sides, because they can mean the desire for touch, but also the exact opposite. The sleeping person should try to remember who he/she embraced in the dream and whose closeness he/she was looking for after waking up".

"I hate my life" I groaned and closed the book and sent it to the floor. "What are you looking for?" it sounded from the other one, who had somehow gone into the kitchen in the meantime. "I'm too stupid to interpret dreams" I complained, going to her in the kitchen and leaning down on the mini windowsill, almost knocking over a small cactus "You were never any good in there" the other opened the fridge "Do you remember where you wanted to read tarot cards? " I shook my head "Nope no idea" hiding my head behind my arms, the laugh of the others echoed across the room, making me look up and grin slightly.

"Will you help me cut?" On her order I stood at the counter and chopped everything she presented to me.

"What do you want to know about your dream? "She put a pot of water on the stove and heated it up

"I keep seeing things again, situations that don't exist, so" I pushed the tomato towards her, "I don't know, they haven't happened yet" and started on the basil.

"Do people appear? "I nodded, not knowing whether she had seen it or not,"Always just one person, although once there was a cat, too", a smile spread across my face,

"Do you know this person?" She rummaged around in the bottom drawer, only to later conjure up a large pan. 

My eyebrows narrowed, I carefully cut the last bit, hesitated before answering "No...but it's a guy, most likely".

She opened a packet of minced meat, threw it in the pan and asked me to make a space on the table in the living room and set the table. Only when I came back from it did she go on.

"Either you'll meet him and something will develop," an egg timer rang "Or he symbolizes something else, like a new relationship or experience" I grumbled, nodding slowly, watching the water she poured.

"Dinner is ready" she said, strutting into the living room with the pasta in front, me with the bolognese behind. "Thanks for dinner" with that we both ate, playing another Twilight movie in front of us, in between making a comment about Bella's stupid behavior, or it was just me, praising the cooking skills of the others for the two thousandth time. If we are honest, the food wasn't that amazing, but still better than what I could manage.

In spite of everything we did that evening, I couldn't shake off a thought or our conversation, my head was confused, fractions of the guy kept coming to the fore that I got a headache from it. 

Why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2467 words
> 
> what do you think of this so far? :)
> 
> till next time~ 


	4. Ｌａｕｇｈｉｎｇ ｗｉｔｈ ｓｔｒａｎｇｅｒｓ

The rest of the week, we spent very monotonously, Angie got up at nine to get to work on time, I took care of the apartment an hour later, vacuuming, washing dishes and laundry, then at some point when the mail came, I translated the newspaper and practiced my songs for this weekend. As a highlight I had tried to cook on Wednesday and the rice had become so dry that we kicked it into the garbage can and ordered a pizza afterwards.

Angie had also helped me to set up my social media and Amazon account so that my orders arrived at my place, which I immediately tried. It ended up in there that I had spent more than 100 Euro for some crystals, candles and books that decorated the empty shelf in my room, finally everything was complete. The older one and I had adjusted to each other, meanwhile we were running like clockwork, even if we were a bit weird.

\---------------------------------------------

Saturday noon, my cell phone woke me up. Tired, all four stretching from me, I yawned loudly, quickly pulled my legs back under the blanket, it was freezing cold. "Oxana! Get your ass up, have breakfast," Angie yelled, making me flinch, but I didn't get up, just grumbled, and put my face in the pillow. 

"Oxana" threateningly it came from my door frame this time

"Not present" I grumbled again

"Come on" the other one sighed,

"But it's so cold"

"I have fresh brewed coffee in the kitchen"

"And a blanket? " she sighed again, giving me a motherly look as I peeked out from behind my blanket 

"yes, and a blanket" 

"well, I'll be right there" 

she disappeared again, scolding herself, and I slowly sat up, picking up a pair of jogging pants and the next best sweater from the foot of my bed, and then shuffling into the kitchen. The sound of my naked feet on the parquet floor, so soft, sounded in my ears like those of a small child. I grabbed my cup from the countertop and silently filled it up with the black wonderful liquid, my thoughts stopped with the children. Oh yes, children are sweet, I always imagined a family with children to be so happy, peaceful. In the living room I sat down next to Angie on the couch, curled up in a blanket and silently drank my coffee. 

" You don't want to eat ?" I shook my head slightly "No, I'll make myself something later" then the silence returned between us, only the soft sound of the heater, which was very loud, by its own standards, working in the corner. "A little better mood, today is your first day at work," said the green-haired woman, and nudged me slightly, putting me out of my mind, as I was thinking, "Angie, can we go buy hair color today? "I hinted at my roots, which quickly made their way down "Sure, we can do it right away, then I'll dye it today too" 

The plan was set, and when it was done, we were standing in a grocery store, and I tried hard to read what was written on the packages, which looked like black hair color to me "Is this the right one? " I said, one of them holding Angie, who was looking next to me in the colored area, muttering "Yes, the brand is holding up well", then offering me two colors "should I make neon green, or a deep green? " I tilted my head "I'd go with dark green" and put my color in her hand, "Can you get me some cigarettes, too, I'll give you the money" she just nodded, and I disappeared from the store, not much later following her "Here's your remaining money" she rummaged around in the plastic bag "cigarettes and color" "Thanks, you're the best" "I know" I lit a cigarette, and followed her, along the pedestrian walkway.

"theoretically we could have taken the train" she suddenly said out of the blue "but we don't have any money, so let's walk" I shook my head, I didn't care if we walked or not, even though I was one of the things that caused her some money problems this month. There were a couple of teens lurking outside our gate, I guessed them around 13, sticking something suspiciously like porn magazines to each other, screaming loud rap from a box. With eyes rolling, we walked past them and unlocked the gate, their eyes burning the back of our necks until we went around the corner. In the stairwell, a guy approached us, about our age, looked as if he had just woken up from a heavy trance, no greeting, we ran up the last staircase, and in the apartment, we threw the things on the small TV table, getting out of our jackets and shoes.

-five new messages from Instagram- 

it was on my screen, but I wasn't really interested right now, Angie was already in the bathroom, putting on an older t-shirt for coloring, I did the same as her, so we were both standing in front of the tiny mirror, trying to get every spot with the color, "should I help you in the back?" I asked, putting my brush away, and using hers instead, without waiting for an answer. "You can wrap it up" I proudly looked at my work before we both put some plastic things over our hair and walked around for the next half hour, ending up with some nice Instagram stories. While Angie was washing her hair, a little surprise awaited us:

"Oxana, why... how?"

Hands over her mouth, she looked at her hair, which was now so dark green and almost turquoise, "Blow-dry it first" I meant, hanging upside down under the shower head. My hair, in a deeper black, which looked more natural than the colors I had tried, made me smile big, the other one too, looked as if the color had convinced her.

We sat in the kitchen for a while afterwards, a rather, shall we say, useless lesson of English and Ukrainian together. I held a fork in front of her "fork" in English, she nodded "fork" in Ukrainian, it felt like that all the time, in the end we both felt so silly that we just stopped, "We have to be there at ten o'clock, right?" I muttered , when the bar came into my mind "Yup, we leave half an hour before, it's nine now... so we still have some time left" I nodded, kneading a pillow between my hands "What do you want to wear anyway?" the other one, standing at the window, with a few raindrops racing against it, asked "I don't know, a dress?" she just mumbled. 

Maybe I should really take care of what I want to wear, I thought, and groped into my room, straight to the closet, which I stopped in front of for minutes, looking through the hanging clothes. "What do you think of this?" I pulled out a black medium-length dress, held it in front of my body and turned to my friend who had taken up residence on my bed. "I like the lace one" so this was already chosen. The rest of the outfit we put together was made of a little clumpy shoes , so I could move better on stage than in high heels, plus some silver jewelry, and my necklace with the little striped stone had to be there, it was my lucky charm.

"Okay, chop-chop, get changed, I'll find the rest, in 10 minutes we're leaving" with that the older one shooed me into the bathroom. No sooner said than done, I hurried to get into my clothes and put some make-up on, so that people could look at me when I was on stage. One last time I went through my now, halfway curly hair with the brush before I opened the door, where an also finished Angie was waiting for me. "go ahead" she smiled, handed me a small backpack, "There are your lyrics, cell phone and wallet in it", thank you, I smiled at her, and grabbed my cardigan from the wardrobe while passing by, closed the door behind me.

As soon as we were outside, greeted by fresh rain air, we both lit a cigarette and walked silently through the somewhat cooler Odessa night. When we got to the bar, we kicked it out and ran into the store, the turquoise-haired one first. 

This time we were not the first, the girl from last time, I think her name was Jana, stood in front of the bar, involved in a conversation with the boss. As soon as our footsteps announced our arrival, the two of them looked up and I gave them the friendliest smile possible. "Good evening" 

"evening" it came back.

Angie said goodbye quite quickly to prepare her piano where, after showing Lewvyn the list of songs we were riding by for tonight and getting the okay from him, I followed to do soundcheck. After the explanation from the other one that we had to take care of it ourselves, because it was just a small store, and my following desperation because I couldn't translate the words on the device, she had to show me that as well. So we more or less built up the stuff together, practiced a bit, played some problematic songs a few times, today completely in English. 

"I don't understand why you don't want to sing in Russian or Ukrainian today, you've been practicing some," said the pianists as we both stood in a back room that resembled a small dressing room and prepared ourselves. "We're going to start with Hit the Road Jack, right?" I distracted myself, thinking about the lyrics in one hand, with the other making funny movements to the tack in my head. She mumbled, "You can start" it suddenly came from behind the door. Oh God now it really starts, I shook my hands, and looked at Angie, who was watching me with a motherly look. "No need to be nervous shortie" I nodded, taking one last deep breath before opening the door and stepping out.

A quiet romp came towards me, from the stage you could see how crowded it was, not really, a few groups had spread out in the back corners or at the bar, there was a pleasant atmosphere. We went to our positions, with a little smile, Angie started to play the first notes of the song, as if automatically I was tapping on one foot in tack, and grabbed the mic with one hand 

"Hit the Road Jack, and dont you come back, 

no more no more no more no more no more"

the faces looking at us put me in a better mood, you could see some people singing along quietly, or just swinging their shoulders. I didn't mind standing here almost alone anymore, I didn't mind hearing my voice through loudspeakers, that all who wanted to hear it, could feel it. Again I turned to the pianist, who was happily pressing around on her piano, a broad grin on her face, some loose strands of hair falling out of her braid. 

"Oh, don't treat me like that ,Don't you come back no more",

I let go of my Mirco and took a few steps back, a few people clapped, as my gaze ran across the room like this, I got stuck with my boss, who himself washed a glass with a smile as soon as we made eye contact, he nodded to me and we continued 

"Hey, guys" the attention of the audience fell on me

"I'm Oxana, and I'm going to bring a little bit of vibes to this place for the next time"

no I didn't come up with this thing, Angie had written it down.

"I'm sorry if my language is a bit bad, I'm new here" somebody whistled "But with a few drinks we should be able to work it out, right?". Angie laughed behind me, and shook her head slightly, and we started playing music, the first round of jazz and above all swing,

"It don't mean a thing If it ain't got that swing"

just because it was so good for good mood. With my head swinging, while Angie gave it all behind me, I sang, snapping to beat. On the left side of the stage an older couple, who had been dancing for some time, quickly turned around, it was fun to watch them.As soon as the last note was played, we all paused, "pause?" I heard it from behind me, "pause" I answered away from the Mirco, "see you soon" I waved to the people who were interested, and we both disappeared backstage.

"Who could have thought that something like this would be so exhausting" I sighed, sliding onto one of the stools. "You have done the least" complained the turquoise hair colored one and left herself next to me."Jana" said just passed us before Angie stopped her "can you give us two rum?" she just nodded, then ran on. "Coke would have done it too", but the other one just ignored me and nudged me slightly against her shoulder "a little better mood please, we still have plans for today" "that consist of singing here first and getting drunk afterwards, is that it?" I shook my head when I saw her nod "you never change" "you're just afraid I'll drink you under the table" "Oh yes I am" defending myself I raised my hands and we both grinned.

Soft music was playing in the background, the mixture of the dimmed light and the smell of the bar, everything made me feel comfortable, it felt so pleasant. Here was a place to talk for hours about something completely unnecessary. As I was dreaming, Jana brought us glasses filled with the dark honey coloring liquid. I grabbed a glass " On us?" Angie grabbed the other " On us!" and I took a sip. "That's good" the other nodded

.Someone tapped me on the shoulder, "Hmm?" as I turned around, the couple from just now were standing there, "Hey" I smiled at them, the woman held out her hand, " You are great sweetheart" I took her hand, "Thank you, that's very nice of you, you've got some good moves too" they laughed out loud, and staggered "can we do anything for you? "We wanted to ask if you could play a song for us" she told me the title, "I can see if I can print out the sheet music for you" she said goodbye and ran with the glass into the small dressing room where there was a printer. While it was working, I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment, resentful of a little lip gloss, and left the room with the paper and funny finger guns to my reflection.

Angie waited for me backstage, grabbed the papers and skimmed over them, "That's not too bad" she said, I looked at her with a side glance, taking a sip of water from my bottle that I had snatched from the room. " Let's go", the next two steps later we were standing on the parket again, my shoes making a dull sound with each footstep, putting the drinks on the piano, while the other one briefly played a few tunes. The visitors didn't seem to bother, kept on talking joyfully, which partly changed as soon as I stepped back to the microphone, "the next song is Sway Michael Bublé" and then waited for it to start. Quietly the pianists counted down and we started

"When marimba rhythms start to play Dance with me, make me sway, Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore Hold me close, sway me more" 

the old couple smiled in our direction, apparently they had motivated others to dance, because a group of women, a little older than us, also had fun in the small area.

"Like a flower bending in the breeze Bend with me, sway with ease" 

I freed the Mirco from its stand and walked around the stage 

"When we dance you have a way with me, Stay with me, sway with me" 

moved me again, leaving the rhythm to take over the movements

"Other dancers may be on the floor .Dear, but my eyes will see only you. Only you have that magic technique .When we sway I go weak" 

the entrance opened, the sound level rose and a group of people came in. Shouldn't bother me, I kept singing, giving Angie a little smile, 

"I can hear the sounds of violins. Long before it begins. Make me thrill as only you know how. Sway me smooth, sway me now" 

the smile widened as I saw one of the group sitting at the table in front of the small stage, swinging his hands with feeling. I flicked in tack, my body swinging left and right, eyes closed to hit that one note.

"When marimba rhythms start toplay. Dance with me, make me sway. Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore.Hold me close, sway me more" 

the song came to an end, out of several corners people were clapping for us, I smiled, and muttered as I stood at the piano to take a sip from my glass to the other "We should let the couple do the playlist" and laughed slightly, the other one just shrugged, "What do we want to play next? I pondered, tipping the glass lightly to my lips "Something more modern?" she nodded slowly "Face to Face?" agreeing I buzzed, tipped the rest of the rum down and grabbed my Mirco again. 

I untied the little tangle of wires, waiting for my cue.

"I've had a throwback to our place." 

Angie with the backup vocals

"That's how I met you face to face, Oh oh ooh Restraint to say hello" 

I took the Mirco back in my hand, the stand in the other hand.

"I'm glad I said goodbye on time .Instead of watching how you strive .I'd better go back home. I better go back home." 

Through the chorus, the rest of my interaction with the very small audience, the group came back to me, they laughed, one of them was constantly being pushed and seemed to be very sure of the text.

"Watch me going away Say goodbye" 

as I walked to the other side of the stage, a strand fell in my face which I brought back to its place with a hand movement, my favorite part of the song was 

"Your just a flicker from my life .Your nothing that the past of mine" 

I turned my head miming a played annoyed expression. The chorus came again 

"I'm glad I said goodbye on time. Instead of watching how you strive" 

one of the most difficult parts, the rough tones barely fitting for me, even though we were in about the same vocal range, but I managed that too, the group praising me with a lot of clapping and shouting that I unfortunately did not understand. This round went by much faster, and we were sitting in the break again, but not at the bar, which had filled up well over time, but up on the stage, I had also gotten a small stool, it was anything but comfortable, "New music is so exhausting to sing, they really pay attention to everything" I complained half seriously, looking for comfort in my rum, but the soaked up drink only glitters towards me.

"It's almost time, one more round then we're through" from the stairs, Jana came to us on stage, and brought us the same stuff again "for us?" she nodded " they said I should bring you this" she pointed to the first table, and I nodded, "thank you" no reaction from her. "Then down with it" the head in the neck, I drank up my old rest, and put the old glass on the piano when I stood up "We'll go thank you later, right?" the other nodded. We drank the new drinks and nodded to the group who were doing the same before we went back to work 

"The next song is back to Black by Amy Whinhouse" I meant, and we sang that first, the alcohol in my blood, though not much, made it easier to live out what I wanted completely. The next half hour flew by, it was almost twelve, the work night was over for us "I wish you guys a great evening, that's it from us" and we left the stage. Arm in arm we walked into the dressing room, 

"I have to get out of these shoes" I meant, falling into one of the chairs, hoping to find some in my backpack, which I actually did. So out of the heels and into the vans. "What do we do now?" Angie asked, shaking her head, loosening her braid "I don't know" in the end we decided to stay in the bar. 

The door opened again and we walked into the bar, got ourselves a drink, now at our own expense, and then looked for a place to sit, that was the plan. When we wanted to run into the corner at the front of the bar, we passed the table where the cheerful group had placed themselves. Just as I was about to ask where the other one was going to sit down, someone from the group shouted, "Hey you," I thought I had at least understood, we turned to them, and five faces beamed at us.

I raised my hand in greeting, a thin smile on my lips, indicating that we should go to them. "Angie, you have to help me, okay?" I whispered into the other's ear as we complied with her request. 

"Hey" she said, as soon as we were standing at the head of the table, I held my glass with both hands "You guys are really talented" I stared at the guy, dyed black hair, elbows propped up on the table, who had started talking at a pace that native speakers would probably find normal. 

"Thanks, by the way, nice of you to buy us the drinks" the older one nodded at him. 

"sit down", invited another one from the table, her eyes disappearing in the dim light under dark make-up. Angie help, I gave the other one a look, which she didn't notice, but dropped herself on an empty chair next to the girl. So I did the same, tried to get a chair from another table and squeezed myself at one end of the table next to Angie. I sent her another desperate look as the others started talking again, again without any result. 

"Hey" the guy who sat closest to me, brown short hair started talking to me "Can it be that you don't understand much here?" I nodded, leaving out a little wheezing "To be honest my Ukrainian sucks" he laughed, but nodded, "My English isn't that special either" I just staggered "If you talk slower I'll understand you in Ukrainian too" so we both talked a bit more, the rest of the group was more occupied with themselves.

"You haven't introduced yourselves yet, have you?" it suddenly came from a corner of the table, and we nodded. "This is Oxana" the finger of the pianist pointed at me "She" 

"she can speak for herself" I pressed her finger down "As already said" and turned to the smiling group "I am Oxana, but I don't speak Ukrainian very well" there was a round Ahas going around, after Angie had introduced herself we went through the round once. Starting with the boy I had been talking to all the time "Artem" I grinned at him, he seemed nice.

The one next to him cleared his throat, making a slightly dramatic appearance, lying down "Kostyantyn"

"Kostyan-" the name rumbled out of my mouth, harsh, I pulled a face, tried again 

"Kostyant-, know what nope" I leaned back in the chair, throwing my hands up in the air and watching everyone giggling to themselves, the black-haired one, for a few seconds staring at me as if rooted to me, before he caught himself, a broad grin, he seemed so open, made me smile "What should I call you? "

he just shrugged his shoulders, "Is Kostya alright?" he agreed, that's probably what everyone called him, now we went to the other side of the table, 

" I. am. Lena" as if she was talking to a toddler, she mimed her words in my direction, flicking her eyelashes so hard that I had to be afraid of her lashes, but since I didn't want to attract attention I just nodded, her grin vanished,

"Nicki" said the one next to her, a little sleepy, sipping her longeye, in the light her dark circles looked disturbingly deep. The last one out of the round, a short bob cut, gave me her hand right across the table.

"Luca, nice to meet you"

"I like your name" I said when I took her hand. We soon got into a real conversation, the black-haired guy in the corner often started to fax, and when he just started to say something, we had arrived at the topic of music, Lena from the other corner joined in.

"Do you remember, you sang that one song, the one that was a bit newer" I mumbled approvingly, translating what she said slowly in my head actually wanting to turn back to the conversation with Kostya, but she didn't give up,

"Do you know who sang that? "As soon as she threw the question into the room, everyone except Angie and I turned to the girl, giving her warning and annoyed looks. She didn't even pay attention to her, turned back to me with a smile and said "it's Mélovin"

"So?" completely confused I looked at the pianist, who just shrugged her shoulders, the blonde looked as if she was about to break out, when she almost squealed "he is Mélovin" and pointed hastily at the black-haired man. For a while I just looked silently back and forth between the two of them, Kostya pulling the corners of his mouth slightly down. "Um... should I behave differently now?" I said, a bit sheepishly "So if this makes you uncomfortable I can also just" I pointed with my thumb behind me, indicating to leave. "No, no" Artem quickly threw in, patting me on the shoulder, "we just had a conversation" the face of the others fell as I laughed in relief, "Well..." we all had a little drink, Artem stood up and left to the bathroom, and I turned back to Kostya.

"Where were you just now? " he looked up from his drink, a grin forming on his lips as he hastily moved a chair closer, now sitting on his friend's seat as he started "So, lady gaga" he made a very big gesture to make sure I understand, his accent more than just adorable, I would kill to have it, so damm attractive. 

I had hit the right nerve, "she is a goddess" I laughed with the enthusiasm the boy showed, putting my elbow on the table so I could support my head with my hand, sliding a couple of strands of hair.

"What other music do you listen to?"I asked

"jazz" another ejecting hand gesture

"Really?!" he nodded 

"me too" 

"Ella Fitzgerald?"

"yes man" 

"Louis Armstrong?" 

"Hmm" we both laughed a little, "Cool" and then listened to the conversation of the other side, it was about hair products, I don't even know why, but Lena suddenly came to the point, that the hair of the pianists, freshly dyed, looked like "Yes, I made it today at noon", I showed Kostya, and Artem who came back in between, the pictures with the garbage bags on her head, and put a finger on my lips, otherwise I would be dead.

"What is your natural hair color," the blonde asked 

"light brown" 

"no wonder you dyed it" she drank again, leaving lipstick on the straw. Angie just shook it off. We laughed a lot, always in the round someone went to get drinks, time just went by. 

\------------------------------

"That's why you started with the make-up?" I coughed a little bit incredulous, the black haired Nicki, who meanwhile was not so sleepy anymore, eliciting a loud laugh, although I had tried to understand her. Nevertheless I laughed along, the rest a little later too, when they saw me fiddling with the napkin, my chin wet from the Cola. 

Someone looked at his cell phone from time to time, "It's two in a minute," the store closed in half an hour, "Oh God," I groaned, "I don't feel that drunk at all," Kostya said, pushing two glasses together as if they were running, Lena giggled, dropping her hand back onto the table.

"We have to go to work tomorrow" Angie whispered into my ear, and we both changed a little forced smiles.

"Well folks" Jana now also came to the table "You should hurry up" and disappeared again. Accordingly, all of them finished their drinks, put money on the table, and put their jackets on. One after the other we left the store, one foot out the door, I took a deep breath before looking for cigarettes in my backpack, and when I finally lit one up, the others joined me. 

Kostya and Angie also smoking, the others at some distance next to us. "wait, look," said the black-haired man, exerting himself blowing smoke from his mouth into the air, small rings appeared. Shocked I stared at him with "How?!" so I tried to blow smoke rings the next time, but my brain was too messy to work properly. When all the cigarettes were out, the others came within earshot again,

" Cool night tonight" everyone nodded, "Will we see each other again?" Artem asked both of us, and we just shrugged our shoulders, "I'm up for it, but how?" Angie said. After discussing back and forth, while everyone was jumping from one foot to the other, the two of them came to the conclusion that me and Angie should be put into a group chat, so Angie gave him both numbers and he wanted to contact us as soon as he was home.

"Well then, bye Angie" the blonde first said goodbye, her eyes looked threatening as she nodded goodbye to me, the red neon light of the bar casting shadows, little by little everyone left, Kostya was waiting for his taxicab.

"Kostya see you around" Angie patted him on the shoulder, the two of them grinned, she went first.

"Jupp bye", our eyes met briefly and for the first time I had the opportunity to take a closer look at his eyes, blue, now mysterious eyes that shimmered joyfully as we embraced on one side and I ran after my roommate.A little smile played around my lips. The rest of the way home was quiet, we talked briefly about the group, but actually we were really tired and exhausted. 

Clinging to the banister, we pulled ourselves up the stairs, she had to fight with the keys for a while before we were finally inside. "See you tomorrow," she said, dropping the Jack from her shoulders tiredly and kicking her shoes off. I did as she did, then trudged into my room, getting out of my clothes and slipping into my pajamas. 

In the bathroom I washed my face and brushed my teeth, ignoring my reflection and just scurrying under my blanket as fast as possible. 

As I lay there, windows open again, a breeze blowing on me while staring at the morning sky of the city, I had to smile slightly, the image jumping back into my head as we were all standing outside fooling around, but sleep caught up with me, my eyelids too heavy to keep them open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5350 words
> 
> finally, I pushed myself to write this chapter :)
> 
> What do you think will happen next. what do you think about the situation?
> 
> leave a comment or vote <3
> 
> till then~


	5. Ｗｈｙ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ'ｔ ｉｔ ｂｅ ｍｉｎｉｇｏｌｆ?

Birds chirped from outside but The corners of my mouth didn't have enough verve to sink into a smirk, so I kept staring at the screen, eyes narrowing, as the pain in my head grew more intense, loosely reaching for my cigarettes and opening the window wide enough for me to lean out and relax, mixing gray smoke with the fumes from the individual cars. This is a Sunday morning I could work with.

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There was some movement in the hallway, later you only saw one, wrapped in fluffy blankets, Angie running into the kitchen, and later back, eating with a bowl. Nodding to myself, I got up and shuffled into the living room, wrapped myself up as well, and sat down on the windowsill niche, briefly watching the movie she had turned on in the background, but quickly lost interest, got me some energy and sat back, watching the water dripping off the metal and collecting in a puddle at the bottom of the can. 

"sir, I am afraid I cannot take this"

"That's what she said" fake laughter sounded from the flicker board, made me roll my eyes slightly, but still smiling slightly. "the same playlist again today?" I asked when Angie was sitting at her keyboard again later, practicing while I hadn't really moved from the spot. She just nodded, we have four hours left, I thought, as my screen lit up, where it turned out that someone in the group had answered. 

The other one started with the first song when I put the phone away and went to shower.

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The evening came faster than I thought, but it went by almost as fast that we were back home at half-past twelve, completely done, and with a little tip afterward. But instead of falling into bed like the previous evening, I had to prepare all my stuff for tomorrow.

So I put out black skinny jeans, a black simple turtleneck sweater, and earrings, packed my backpack, with a cell phone, papers, money, my plan, and the apron, before I lay down on my blanket, not feeling a hint of tiredness.

Again and again, I rolled from one side to the other, went under the blanket, then only half, then completely, but it didn't help at all. So I stumbled into the bathroom on tiptoes in the pitch dark to take a sleeping pill that finally made me sleepy.

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In fact, I got up on time on Monday. The blanket flew off me. A broad grin formed on my face, running into the bathroom with my clothes, coming out ten minutes later, showered and dressed, warm air escaping the room as I went into the kitchen, turning up the radio, humming along quietly as I made myself dinner. " Morning" came from the door, Angelina stood leaning in the door frame, her hair standing out in all directions, electrified. looking briefly at my plan which I had stuck to the fridge. My shift starts at seven... "how long..." I murmured, looking at the wall clock, a quarter to "Angie I'm off then, see you at noon" I called, grabbing my backpack from my room, putting on my boots, and then hastily closing the door behind me. Sliding down the banister, I arrived at the bottom of the staircase, swung open the back door, and set off on the path I had taken last time, lighting up a cigarette, by the way, every grim driver who passed grim car driver who stood at the traffic light sending a smile and the unfriendly cyclists were suddenly not so annoying after all.

As soon as I saw the green window frames I patted my hat once more, nodding briefly before opening the door, a small bell announcing my arrival. "Hello" Jeff beamed at me, "Hey" and I couldn't hold mine back, "Boris?" he shouted over his shoulder and a blond with long hair popped around the corner, "show her where to put her things", "Yes, it's done," he said, telling me to follow him and led me into a small room with Spinds similar to a school locker room. While I was replacing my jacket through the apron, the blonde started to talk "So you're the new one from America" I answered after a while with a nod, "Then it must be a coincidence" he laughed, running his fingers through his hair. My locker door closed, and I just gave him a questioning look " he nodded, my unawareness seemed more visible than I had planned "In the next university they teach English at a big level" "Ahh" I nodded, giggling, slapping my forehead "I should have known" we went out again, the boss waiting for us.

"Oxana, here" he put bucket and rag on the counter, "The tables didn't clean themselves" when I went to work he clapped his hands "Shop opens in twenty minutes, chop-chop" so I started cleaning, quickly falling into my normal workflow, playing oldies in the background, Boris cleaning the machines.

————————————————————————

It didn't take too long before the store opened and everything worked almost as normal as if I had never done anything else before. But it could also have been because the students had read my sign, what had written under it, American. Apparently, most of them even read that, to what extent they were open-minded. One of them just sat in the corner, looked like he'd been working through the night, but he was still very polite, even repeated himself again when I didn't understand what to bring him. Soon the first break came, it was ten o'clock, I finished at one o'clock. Groaning "phew" I sat down on one of the chairs that had emptied, Boris said that most of the lectures started at that time. The first thing I saw on my screen, -10 new messages from BigHouseBullshit-, a little grin crept up on my lips when I opened the chat:

"Good morning all you wonderful people"

"Who let the morning human out?"

" everybody's means to me here, but anyway, Saveli, I wasn't with them on Saturday "

"Haha loser"

"Kostya, don't be such a jerk."

"Lol"

Music started to play in the background, my foot slightly tapping in time.

"Does anyone have time today? Because I am bored"

"What are you gonna do?"

"no idea anyone has time?"

"I can't."

I hastily typed in a message, glancing briefly at the blond man who was watching me from the counter

"Come home from work at 1:00, if you want to do something in the evening I'm free"

"Same for me"

"At three I'll be home"

"So we're... seven, right?"

"right, big brain Kostya"

"What did you want to do anyway?"

"You'll see, btw can you send me your address, so I can pick you up?"

I was a bit confused now, but you can't be really mad, so I send Artem what he had asked for

"Oxana, back to work" my boss tore me out of my thoughts and I nodded, quickly ditching my cell phone and then cleaning up before the second batch of people came in, the machine was working at full speed, and the room was filled again with people talking to me, coffee smell and the broken light from outside, it was just beautiful.

————————————————————————————

Around one o'clock came the changeover for me and Boris, that we both quickly disappeared into the changing room, got ready, and went our separate ways in front of the store.

I smiled at Jeff once more, thanked him again for letting me be there, before turning left and running away on the sidewalk to the main street, where I lit a cigarette for the first time, which slowly became a habit, and walked towards the home. With every step I took, no matter how exhilarating, two strands of hair flew in front of my view, my backpack on my shoulders quietly rustling. The sky was gray, I was shivering slightly, it wasn't even cold, it took me a while with stiff fingers to get the lock open from the back gate, jumping from one foot to the other. Climbing the staircase, I knocked on our door, nobody opened. I had forgotten that she also had to work. So I pulled my key out of the depths of my backpack and opened the door myself. 

Later when I was sitting on my bed again in sweatpants, translating the newspaper and searching the group on Instagram. "Not really surprising" I murmured, clicking the follow button next to "Mélovins" profile pick, adding on to the large number of followers he had.

Later Angie arrived, scolding me for not being ready, as they wanted to pick us up in a bit, and I still laid in be "Yes mom, I'll be ready in a few" so I got some clothing out of my closet and made myself ready.

————————————————————————————-

Standing at on the sidewalk, we both shared a cig "Why did I agree to this?" the green-haired one shook her hands a bit, teeth chattering together "Aw come this is gonna be fun" I said, taking a drag from the glowing death bomb "I don't know, I don't feel so good about some of them" I looked at her side profile, as I passed the cigarette and watched her blow the smoke out her nose before giving it back "Who?" 

"This Lena girl..."

I nodded "Yeah she's rude, isn't she?"

"On the good side, I believe she's not with us today," my friend said, stomping out the stick, as a black jeep turned in our road and stopping right in front of us.

"Hopp in Losers!" Luca beamed at us through the opened car door, and we got in the middle seat, greeted with a "Hello" mixed with a kind smile from Artem, who started the car again. "What's up Ladies?" it came a bit quieter from Nicki, who sat next to him "Nothing much, you're okay, look a bit tired" I answered, studying how she let her hands disappear in her oversized sweater sleeves. "Yeah, but it's fine" she crooked a smile, before turning to the front again. 

Someone propped his head on our seats "I don't get a hello?" a wave of perfume followed his voice, and as I turned to him, it was Kostya, of course. "Hmm nope" he pouted, "Hey" it was Angelina who gave in, making him smile "Angie is cool, you're not!" he said, letting me face the back of his head, as he talked to my roommate, so I looked back to the backseats, fake sad, and waved at the two who sat there. 

"Hey, I love your top," the shorthaired girl said, pointing at my strap top. "It's a bit cold isn't it?" the boy next to her asked "I got this, so it should be okay" holding up my worn-out flannel sleeve, I crooked a smile at him "You're Savelie right? I'm Oxana" I held out my hand, which he took and shook. After we talked for a while, Artem spoke loud enough, so everyone could hear "Guys, sit down or we'll get in trouble!" as a Police Car drove next to us. Making me turn and sit straight on my seat immediately. 

"Kostya!" the black-haired girl in the front started "Catch" and threw a cable to the back, turning out to be the aux for the car and he connected it with his phone, playing Judas by lady gaga on full volume, making everyone in the back turn into karaoke stars and perform a hell out of the song.

"So where are we going now?" I whispered-yelled leaning forward to Nicki "going bowling" she answered smiling as I groaned "Noooo" and lean back again. 

With our arrival at the bowling center, the music finally stopped, and it got awfully quiet at once "Gosh I think my ears are dead" the pianist complained after she got out of the jeep, making room so that other ones behind us could get out as well.

"You really do love Lady Gaga, don't you?" I asked as the singer walked beside me up the stairs in the building "Oh hell yes" and I regretted asking that, because once again, he started rambling about her, in Ukraine, really really fast. "And the impact she has on my music is-" he suddenly stopped talking "Are you okay?" as he asked a hand on my shoulder, I looked up from my feet, smiling "You know you speak really fast.." I started, making him talk in slow-mo, earning him a punch from me "Asshole" I muttered, chuckling I joined the others, who got us a Bowling line, and together we went off to get shoes. 

"Look, stylish!" Luca meant, doing a catwalk to our alley and posing with them at the end. "Wow, fantastic woohoo!" Kostya screamed and cheered, making everyone laugh. "Look" I giggled, nudging Angie in the side and pointing secretly to the place next to us, who happened to be a small girl's birthday, who, inclusive her father I guess, started at us, grown-ass Adults, goofing around. She slapped her hand over her mouth, containing her laughter, as my head fell to her shoulder, helplessly gasping for air between giggles.

"Oxana!" Artem suddenly called "What do you want as name?" he pointed at the small desk, where a table for points on a screen was. "Just Oxana, wait who is The octopus?" he rolled his eyes and pointed to Kostya, who sat on the cheap bench, stretching his legs so long there was no way to get over them. 

"Quickie-Nicki?" Angie read over my shoulder "Omg whyyy?" I groaned, typing in my normal name. Right now it was Lucas part and she stood in front of the alley, facing it backward, a neon green ball between her hands, aiming to threw it through her legs, what she did, and hit three cones.

Next up was the Singer, who was energic to get his next win (we were playing the third round at this point) and getting a strike once again, turning back around with a huge grin and patted his own shoulder before sitting down next to me. I gave up playing by the second round, as I fell on my face ridiculously hard, what was caught on camera by my dear friend, who now won't delete it.

A message popped up from our desk screen "10 minutes remain" and Artem, who had gotten solid 7 cones and stood on the top now, received a fake mad look from the black-haired one. "Wait till it's my turn, the win will be mine!" he laughed "What do you think about the winner needing to pay for the next round we'll drink?" I asked Nicki, who sat on my other side, also not playing anymore. "very fair" she giggled, pushing her black hair out of her hair. 

Turns out Angie won, with a glorious strike series, and was now chased by Kostya through the large parking lot

"YOU CHEATED!!"

"NO YOU JUST SUCK!!"

and the rest held on to the car, dying from Laughing too hard. "S-stop" I cried, my stomach hurting from laughing. Completely out of breath they return to us, and Angie threw herself in my arms, panting. The chaser's hair had gone out of control, getting fixed by Nicki, who tried to contain her laughter, just stating that he was a bad loser.

———————————————————————————

talking about what to do next Luca's phone suddenly rang, and she picked up "Hello?" short silence

"Right now?"

"Okay, be there in a few, wait okay?" hanging up she gave us an apology like look 

"Sorry but, my cousin fucked up... pregnancy test" 

"You mean Dasha?" Nicki asked with big eyes, and as the other one nodded she murmured a "But shes 14" before speaking up "I'll come with you, I need to have a word with the boyfriend of hers"

"Exboyfriend..."

"WHAT?"

I was quite shocked by what changed in this short time, and watched as they speed-walked to the next train-station. "that boy's life is in danger" Savelie chuckled, earning a harsh look from Artem "Sorry" and holding his hands up in defense. to lighten up the mood a bit, I said "Sooo who's coming with something to eat? My stomach is making a scene!", and we decided to walk down the nearest street, in the hope to find something to eat.

————————————————————————————

We walked down the road and I starred up the tall building to both sides next to the street "This is..different here" I said, having where our apartment was as contrary. "Hmhmm" quite agreeing noises left Angie, who held onto my arm, watching the steps of the three boys in front of us. we walked past a rather dark looking park, and it made me think "What time is it?" after looking briefly at her phone the other one answered "4 pm" that explained why the streetlights went one.

——————————————————————

After a while of a walk, we settled down in a small restaurant, with a name I couldn't pronounce, and the four of the Ukrainians decided what I'll eat, "to get to know our culture better" they said, but I trusted Angie to not give me seafood or anything else I could puke from. 

Sitting on the opposite side of the table so i "don't see what she gets" what I couldn't figure out even after it stood in front of me, the black-haired boy had got next to me on the bench, which made touch on some point, after Savelie decided to squeeze next to him as well, but eventually got off.

Needing to tell the waiter what I'll want to drink, the thought tied up my throat, but I quickly found an alternative solution, and whipped out my phone, and tapped something in the translator before nudging Kostya in the side to get his attention on it. "Can you tell the waiter what I want to drink..? pretty pretty please?" and he smiled down at it, before taking it and typing in something as well "Sure, what do you want?" "Water.." I really forgot the word for it, dumbass me. 

he nodded again, crooking a smirk before patting my shoulder. Relaxed I leaned against the back of the bench, sinking in a bit more into the fabric, so I needed to shift a bit to get comfortable, my knee hitting, what I guessed was the one from Kostya, who doesn't seem to care to much.

The waiter came and took all the orders, and I tried to hide myself a bit behind the singer next to me, every time he wanted to take my order before somebody else did.

———————————————————————————————

"what do you both know each other from?" I asked, between two bites from mine, as it got revealed to me what it really was, Vareniki. the boys in question looked at each other, before Kostya started talking "me and Artem, School, age 12-13" and smiled "That's pretty long"

"And Savelie I know because my mom's friend brought him to us someday" said Boy laughed "That was the most awkward first meeting you could imagine" making me giggle "I can see it, and your mom probably was like "why don't you both go upstairs?" right", Kostya snorted, holding his Hand over his mouths, trying to hold back the drink he just sipped.

"And you two, I mean you're American" Artem asked after the black-haired one got himself under Control again "Where are you from, like witch state?" Savelie added "Born and raised in Texas, Dallas" adding an eye roll to what I previously said, I continued "And.. well you know that website Omegle?" they looked at me a bit concerned

"It was or still is a website you can chat and talk to strangers" my roommate explained, receiving a "Like sexting?" from Kostya, who got hit by Artem, telling us to continue

"It was a big thing when I was around 12, I think, and well I did that one night and got put together with her, and we ended up giving each other the phone numbers and met up at 15" 

I took another bite from my foot "But you both spoke other languages, and at 12 you didn't know how to speak English normal" Artem pointed with his Fork at Angie, who nodded while trying to catch the last spaghetti off her plate

"We talked in Russian"

"What??"

"We both grew up in part Russian households" she explained, "So you can talk Russian?" the boy next to me asked, making me stuff my last rest of food in my mouth to avoid answering. "She doesn't like talking in it" thanks Angie, you're an angel, "But why?" he would not stop asking, would he "Some shit stuff happened okay?" I said in, low voice, avoiding eye contact with him, searching for my friends ones instead, and rubbing my arm.

The conversation dropped.

———————————————————————-

Later walking back to our car, I talked with Artem, who seemed to be okay talking English to me, as even if it was broke, I was exhausted, not able to remember one-word Ukrian and still wanted to talk to him. 

"So you work as his manager, is it fun?" he wobbled his hand "Its okay, bit of a diva sometimes" whispering the last part, and I nodded, "I can see it" watching the said guy, who copied Angies walk, before rushing to hide behind Savelie, to not get punched by her.

"You're like the mom friend of the group" I stated, gaze fixed on the three in front of us "Mom friend?" 

"The person taking care that everyone is okay, like a mom" he hummed like he understood, leading up to pleasant silence between us. 

But I didn't have that moment today either, because the others in front of us slowed down until they were on the same level as us.

savelie promptly said "Angelina said you can sing" 

" No you don't know, that's why I work in a bar, as a waitress or what?" I answered laughing, slapping my forehead with my hand. 

Kostya suddenly walked on the other side of me "By the way" making me jump a bit "Where did you learn singing?" 

"I didn't" seeing his facial expression I knew what he wanted me to ask, so I did, for him and probably his ego "And what about you mr.Mélovin?"

"Well, I did go to a theatre school" yep, definitely feeding his ego "there I learned playing piano as well" 

"Bet you can't play as good as Angie," I said, nudging him in his side, earning a smirk and a nudge back "We'll see about that", with that, we arrived at Artem's jeep, which stood now alone on the large parking lot. "one question," Angie said, lighting a cigarette before handing me her lighter "Where do you guys live?" turning away from the conversation, to help the cig finally burn. 

"Shit thing" I mumbled so that my stick didn't fell out my mouth, and tried again. groaning as it finally did what I wanted, I turned back and gave my friend her lighter back.

"Thats way to much way, i don't want you to waste so much fuel on us, we just take the next line."

ok what did I miss? 

"You're really okay with that?" Artem asked once again, relife painted on his face as she agreed again. 

"Well then, till next time" Kostya opened his arms wide, making grippy hands like a child, till the green-haired gave in and hugged him shortly, freed herself fast, and gave the others a hand check.

I followed her, at the end standing in front of pouty, grippy hands making black-haired Singer, rolling my eyes playfully and stepping in his embrace, his arms wrapping around my shoulders, a wave of perfume was flowing in my nose, making my heart skip a beat, who uses so much cologne? 

"Dude, what's that Perfume, " I asked, getting off him, 

"You're selfmade one?" someone in the back asked 

"selfmade?" I turned around and back as the singer talked "I do my own perfume, in hope to selling one someday-" 

"i wouldn't sell this one if I was you" and with that, I was swept off my feet giggeling, "LETS BURRY HER" he screamed, carrying me away like I was made of feathers, what I was most definitely not, "Kostya NO! i need her!" my friend got me back, while we walked away from the group, I walked backward, both middle fingers pointing in the direction of Kostya.

————————————————————————————

Trying to catch my breath after the sprint to get the last train our direction, we both plopped down on the old seats, later sharing Angie's headphones as she started our playlist. Starring out the dirty window, the familiar beat began playing

"Where's my snare?

I have no snare in my headphones

There you go

Yeah

Yo, yo"

and I didn't need to look at the phone to know which song it was

"Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?

I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against

Picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times

Sick as the mind of the motherfucking kid that's behind

All this commotion emotions run deep as ocean's exploding

Tempers flaring from parents just blow 'em off and keep going

Not taking nothing from no one give 'em hell long as I'm breathing

Keep kicking ass in the morning and taking names in the evening

Leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth

See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out

Look at me now, I bet ya probably sick of me now ain't you momma?

I'mma make you look so ridiculous now"

I gripped Angie's wrist slightly, an uneasy feeling bubbling up in my throat, this one song I've been listening through my whole childhood.

"I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)

I said I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet"

it hit hard, our gazes met, and she took my hand completely, giving it a comforting squeeze

"Ha! I got some skeletons in my closet

And I don't know if no one knows it

So before they thrown me inside my coffin and close it

I'mma expose it, I'll take you back to '73

Before I ever had a multi-platinum selling CD

I was a baby, maybe I was just a couple of months

My faggot father must have had his panties up in a bunch

'Cause he split, I wonder if he even kissed me goodbye

No I don't. On second thought I just fucking wished he would die

I look at Hailie, and I couldn't picture leaving her side

Even if I hated Kim, I grit my teeth and I'd try

To make it work with her at least for Hailie's sake

I maybe made some mistakes, but I'm only human

But I'm man enough to face them today

What I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb

But the smartest shit I did was take the bullets outta that gun

'Cause I'da killed him, shit I would've shot Kim and him both

It's my life, I'd like to welcome y'all to "The Eminem Show"

as if she wanted to say that it's okay because it's over now and it was right, it's finally over, forever....

"I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)

I said I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet"

hopefully...

"Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition

Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissing

But put yourself in my position, just try to envision

Witnessing your momma popping prescription pills in the kitchen

Bitching that someone's always going through her purse and shit's missing

Going through public housing systems, victim of Munchhausen's Syndrome

My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't

'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to ya stomach

Doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that CD for me Ma?

So you could try to justify the way you treated me Ma?

But guess what? You're getting older now and it's cold when you're lonely

And Nathan's growing up so quick he's gonna know that you're phony

And Hailie's getting so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful

But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral!

See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong

Bitch do your song, keep telling yourself that you was a mom!

But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get

You selfish bitch, I hope you fucking burn in hell for this shit

Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?

Well guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be!"

the train rattled, and I held tighter to my back which sat on my lap, not daring to let go of either Angie or it

"I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet (one more time)

I said I'm sorry momma!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleaning out my closet"

My friend stopped the music and carefully got her headphone back, standing up as the train stopped and I did the same, following her outside into the clear night and we went up some stairs before walking close next to each other on the sidewalk, passing strangers. 

"cig?" she said, fumbling with her free hand around her pockets, before taking said things out "Sure" and lighting two, handing me one, which I took, with my right hand, my left arm intertwined with hers.

Our steps were silent, the cars passing by whirled up the wet leaves and let them fly around our feet and I looked up, releasing some smoke out my mouth. It briefly blocked my view of the few stars in the sky that were about to appear at that time of day.

But that wasn't important, as we turned right, now walking in our street. Which name I still couldn't get inside my head. 

While the older one searched for the gate and door keys, I threw my Glimming stick on the ground, stomping it out, closing the gate after we entered. 

As always, no one was up by the time we walked up the staircase to our apartment, it made me wonder, "Angie, did I ever saw our neighbor?" I whispered, pointing at the door next to us, our door lock clicking and letting the door open "I don't think so" she whispered back, closing the door behind me. 

"I'm going showering," she said as she came out of her room, still fully closed, a pile of fresh clothes in her arm, and I just nodded. 

I opened my phone, a message announcing itself with a Ding! -3 new messages from BigHouseBullshit- sighting I opened the chat

"Angie, Oxana, ur home safe?" it was Artem, it's cute how he cares so much

"AnGiE, OxAnA uR hOmE sAfE?"

"Fuck you Kostya, it would've been my fault if something happened to them"

"Yeah we're all good, thanks for caring :)" I typed in

"Yw :)"

"Btw was fun today, why are you just now here, and how did we not find Angie?" Savelies Message made me smile a bit brighter

"Yeah, it was fun right? We should do stuff like that more"

"We do, Kostya keeps everyone on track"

"Mhm"

"That sounded way too proud"

"It didn't, your just jealous of how cool I am"

"Oh yeah u are XD "

"Don't agree with him Sav! XD"

"How the hell does a text-sound anything anyway?"

"Idk it just does"

with that I put my phone on the windowsill, checking on my cactus, who I definitely needed to feed. After that I changed into my py's, throwing my old clothing into my pile of "needs to get washed" box (yes I wrote that on it) and turning out my heater, opening the window a bit.

————————————————————————————

While laying down, the sport from today made it self present, and I groaned out in slight pain and the thought of having to work tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5504 words
> 
> yeah this one was a bit of a bitch to write, had to re-do it twice :(
> 
> anyway what do you think about it so far?
> 
> and after a question, where I am very curious about the answers, who is your favorite character so far?
> 
> leave a vote and/or critism in the comments <3
> 
> till next time~


	6. Ａ ｃｏｏｌ ｄｕｄｅ, ｈｉｓ ｍａｎａｇｅｒ, ｈｉｓ ｍａｋｅ-ｕｐ ａｒｔｉｓｔ ａｎｄ, ｗｅｌｌ ｔｈｅｎ ｔｈｅｒｅｓ ｈｅｒ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (My God I am sorry for the last chapter, there are so many typos and logic mistakes Holy fuck, I need to redo it, it's so bad soryyyyyyyy)
> 
> .-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.

Like I thought, that following day was pure pain. But, not showing up on the second day of work wasn't the greatest impression, so I went to work, with 2 painkillers taken. 

That day, after cleaning the tables, Jeff showed me how I was supposed to make the drinks and I stood behind the counter, working off the small sticky papers of orders and putting the coffees with said sticky note on the counter so Boris could bring them the ordering person. My boss did work behind the counter as well, taking the to-go orders and putting the notes on my others as well. electrified I always tried to get the coffees as fast as possible, but I never worked with such big machines before, so the team had to drink every coffee that didn't work out the way it should be, or in short, every time I fucked up, we drank it.

The back pain was drowned from the caffeine in my veins, I felt like I could run 10 miles without problems. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But that didn't last as long as I wanted, as soon as I got back in the apartment, sitting in my room, my hands began shacking, and waves of cold and warm shivers run down my spine. I got dizzy. 

The next thing was that I woke up at night, by Angie, who played piano in the living room, without headphones on. With her help I made myself soup, and sat down on the couch, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and a heating bottle on my stomach, I thanked God that I had my day off on Wednesday. "This is the 8 pm report on the 13. February, my name is Katarina and this are our themes of today" the TV blared and behind the blond reporter, faces appear "the second semi-finale form Vidbir is on next Saturday. Let's look at the top candidates in the survey"

I forgot that Eurovision was in a few months, how could I? My grandmother would hate me, I smirked at the thought of her

"On the top, we have Mélovin, Tayanna, and Kadnay, but that doesn't have to say anything" wait.... I paused the program,

"Angie!! You heard that too, right?" I turned over to her

"His face is literally on the news, yes, yes I know"

"man....lucky him Look at his percent, he has so many fans what the hell?"

"I know, my god" she gave me an eye roll

"How is he so famous?" I threw my hands in the air, wondering what I did wrong in my life

"First up he won X-Factor, and second, off he attracts the Females, I mean look at him" 

"What has his attractiveness with his fame to do?"

"I don't understand it either, I mean he owns the stage, he has talent, but I find his fans... strange" with that she turned back to her piano, and I turned the TV off, taking my things and walking in my room. 

My god, what I would give to be in the Eurovision, I mean at least in the semi-finals, my obsession with the show was way too big, when I was younger, I would always babble the secretaries of my parents in the office full of all the facts about all the participants of the year, or actually, any other employee that dared to came into the conference room I was parked into the study and wait and as soon as my parents were done with their business and they took me home with them, and I continued talking about it with the rest of my family there.

I would make lists and have two phones ready to vote, great times. 

With my from then one favorite song, fairytale from 2009 I believe, I went to sleep. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting on a stage, it was dark, the floor under me was cold. Shapes of a few people in the front row crystalized out of the shadows, I couldn't say who they were. "Look so alone" one began, voice the most disturbing thing you'll ever hear "Helpless" "Pathetic" "useless little girl" tears shot in my eyes, and I crawled back away from the stage, but I hit something, looking up it was a mic stand, shining in the dark, the voices won't stop calling me over and over repeating themselves "Who's gonna save you now?" "All alone" "your fault" "little girl" my legs began hurting, sharp pain rising up from my knees, I sat on nails. The tears started rolling down my face, and I opened my mouth, screaming and crying out my fear, but it all stuck in my throat, strangling me, I couldn't breathe, more tears rolled down my face. I gripped my throat, Eyes wide, trying to get air. "Helpless" "Useless" "Whos gonna help you now little girl?" the shadows suddenly stood over me, looking down, with nothing, it got dark.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Holy shit" sudden cold water run down my back, and I opened my eyes, the dream returned, thinking that I faced the dirty shower wall, guess I used the warm water up, not even half way finished with showering I turned it out and got ready fast. Barefoot I walked out the bathroom, squeezing myself into the window niche and taking my cup of coffee between my hands, hair strains falling in my face as I watched the street outside.

Ding! my phone vibrated and lit up -New Message from Whats app- I opened it, it was private chat, an unknown number.

"Hey, whatcha up to?" did I know them? looking at the profile pic I groaned, it was just the singer

"Nothing much, have a day off, you?"

it took him not a minute to respond "Well, nothing much either, you're alone?" 

"Yeah for a while, Angie left for work an hour ago :( "

"Poor you, all alone"

"Yeah poor me, fuck you btw"

"Eyyy, I was about to ask if you want to come over, but you're a meanie so no" 

"Nooo I'm sorry Kostya, please, I'm bored" I could feel how he smiled as he read my message, for sure I got right into the trap that he wanted me to go in "hmm, okay, be here in an hour" 

"Where do you live? I'll try my best"

after sending me his address and insulting me again, what I just gave back, I got up and made myself ready, happy to close the door to the now-empty apartment. 

Walking down the stairs I tried to untangle my headphones, as I finally got them right, I arrived at the small train stop, where I needed to check like three times if a train drove in his direction, and hoping to get the right one I got myself a ticket and sat in the next machine that arrived. Sitting down I had my back on my lap and started playing music

"Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singing in a sycamore tree

Dream a little dream of me"

I relaxed a bit, leaning my forehead at the window

"Say nighty night and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me

Stars fading but I linger on dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn dear

Just saying this"

watching the old city flying by

"Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me"

I don't think I'll ever get used to this beautiful sight, I loved the vibe I got from this whole city

"Stars fading but I linger on dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger till dawn dear

Just saying this"

it could be because Texas was just really ugly to me, or because I had something to live for here

"Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams

Whatever they are

Dream a little dream of me"

but I had no time to wonder about that, as my station came and I hurried up to get out, bumping into a few strangers while getting out and walking up the stairs muttering a Sorry every time I did so. And it didn't get better as I tried to find the black-haired ones address, just as I was about to have a complete breakdown while walking down the third road, I heard someone screaming "Eyyyo Oxana!" that wasn't just my brain going insane right? "Up here!" no it couldn't. I looked around as secret as I could, not wanting to look like a maniac if someone watched me.

And there he was, hanging out of the third-floor window, waving with both arms, laughing his ass off as he saw that I spotted him, and I chuckled as well, pretending to walk away but turning around and getting in the building. welcomed by a cheeky grin after walking up all the floors. 

"I don't know you," I said, hiding my eyes, walking past him to the next door, chuckling I went back and he pulled in a quick hug. A wave of perfume went in my nose, and I pulled away asking "who would find this here??" and looking him up and down quickly, he had a new haircut but he just stepped out the way so I could get in, a cat peeked out from between his legs, "And who have we here?" I asked, holding out my hand to the animal, into which the cat snuggled itself in. "Citrus that is oxana" " Sweet name"

Getting out of my shoes, the grey cat followed, and after I put them next to the others standing there on the dark carpet, I wondered "Since when do you wear Women shoe-" but I shut my mouth as I followed him into the living room and found at least seven people sitting there "My god" I heard him chuckle behind me, while Nicki turned around and faced me "Oh hey, didn't expect you to come here" "Yeah me neither" I said, giving the singer a side glare, "I would've made myself a bit more likable but" 

Afterwards I waved the other people in the room as hello, spotting some familiar faces as well, Artem and Lena. I saw a bunch of stuff in one corner of the room, as the big group moved there and not to just stand there I sat down beside the black-haired girl on the couch, who held a fuzzy white pillow close to her. As soon as I did so, the cat sprung on the sofa as well, making itself comfortable between us.

"So what are they doing here?" I asked her, "Just watch" and I did what she said. 

"I thought you might want to drink something" Artem put a glass of water on the TV table in front of us, sitting down as well. 

Shortly after, three of the people, one of them, Lena, took a mic, and they stepped beside a bit, revealing a piano standing there, and Kostya sat in front of it, hands hovering over the keys. "ready?" and as everyone nodded he started playing, a tune I never heard before. And started singing, the as I guessed background singer joining later. One dude sat on some kind of drum thing, and the last one had a lot of cables and some kind of technic-thing on his lap. The song got to the refrain, and I started nodding my head, a small smile plastered on my face. But as it got to the next chorus I listen closely to the notes closed my eyes and my god, I was shocked, someone, I couldn't make out who it was, were singing completely out of tune, opening my eyes in horror, I still could not figure it out. they stopped.

"I loved it" I meant clapping making everyone smile a bit and as the singer got up from his seat I started talking "so I saw you on the news today" he chuckled a bit "Dude why didn't you tell me you're going to represent Ukraine?? That's huuuge" 

"its just semi-final right now he doesn't do anything" Nicki said, and sticking out her tongue to him, which he only imitated,

"well" Artem started, leaning forward "That's the reason he wanted you to come"

"You knew about this?" 

"It was his idea" kostya said 

"Well yes, he's being a diva, because he thinks he needs to do something about his looks to win" the other one said, and you could hear how he was done with arguing

"You have a new haircut" i mumbled under my breath reranging my words in my head "You know" i finnaly started "Winning starts in your head, and when you don't think you'll win with your pure talent, then do something till you're convinced you'll win" t

he girl next to me nudged me in my side "Plus he has me for his make up and" she held her hand up "a fire outfit"

I turned to look at the boy, who sat on the oppeside way, more watching the other musicians as listening to what we said "Ey Pretty boy!" his head snapped back to us "Show me the outfit for the show" and looked at me for a bit "Come on, I'll give you real critic" and nicki helped me shoo him up and change,

"What are you planing?" artem whisperd in my ear,

"nothing, I'll give him critic, he seems to be someone who doesn't trust compliments much" 

"But he likes to hear them" nicki chuckled. 

Suddenly I could feel like someone started at me, and as I turned to look it was Lena, who seemed to murder me in her thoughts, I gave her a weak smile before turning back and went back to caressing Citrus deep in thought.

After a while the singer stepped into the room again, dressed in a white long shirt, long black coat, and black skinny jeans, a frown plastered to his face. "Turn around," I said making a hand movement, to what he spun around after a bit of hesitation. "Boy you look cool like if I was a teen, you would be my biggest crush" and he laughed a full-hearted laugh, which seemed to lighten up the room,

"I said that too, but he didn't like it" Artem joked, making me laugh as well.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One question, I saw that contact lense on tv and why is he doing that, I mean it looks really cool but why?" I asked as the group started playing the tune again. 

"Long story," Artem said sighting "I have time tell me" I gripped my now half warm water from the table and drank, looking at the boy over the end of the glass.

"Well Mélovin isn't just his stage name," he started making some gestures "It's a project we started since, well since he won X Factor" and stopped for a while.

"Maybe even before, but he had a ton of different stage names back then" Nicki added "Age 18 I believe"

"And what do you mean by not just a stage name?" maybe I was just a bit too curious

"Its a different persona, it's his stage him" Artem answered hands wobbling around "The rest he should tell you himself, not that I say something wrong," he said quickly afterward, and I nodded. 

Who would've thought that meeting new persons could end in such a wild ride? I smiled, watching the boy play. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who do you think can play better now" the black haired boy called from thereafter finishing, leaning on his instrument "What do you mean?"

"Me or Angie, who can play better piano," he said, "Oh my, you really thought I meant that as something bad, did you?" and he nodded, crooking a smile, exposing bright teeth "Answer meee"

"Angie" and he groaned "Nooooo" making everyone chuckle, besides Lena, who still shot me death glares every time she could. A bad vibe came the whole afternoon from her, even as the other musicians took their things and went to go home. Making the cat, who sat beside me all the time walk after them.

"Bye," I waved at them, giving them a smile, because they were so nice the whole day, and didn't hesitate to repeat themself when I couldn't understand them, just really nice people.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now around 8pm and I got a text from Angie, who seemed to not just trust one sticky note in the kitchen "You're still at his? are you okay? Ya'll not fucking are you?" making me hold my mouth to not laugh too loud "Yeah I'm still here, Nicki Artem and Lena are here to so no we're not fucking, how do you think that we.. anyways" and as I pressed to send the front door closed again and the singer returned in the room, waving with both hands like a child "Hellooo" before plopping down on the second couch next to Lena, who wouldn't want to sit on the same sofa as I was. 

"what happened to Dasha?" he asked, making her look up from her phone 

"One negative test and one positive, so we're going to check" 

"And her Ex?" I asked 

"Got verbally beaten up from me" making everyone chuckle. 

"Wait what happened?" the background singer asked,

"oh I forgot you weren't with us, in short Luca got a call from Dasha that she might be pregnant from her then ex-boyfriend" 

"At 14" Kostya added,

"oh" Lena had a sour look on her face, I could tell why.

Going back to a relaxed conversation, I remembered what we talked about earlier and waited for a quiet minute to ask him. "Kostya, question" I started to draw his attention to me, so he listened "Your stage name is Mélovin right" and he nodded, "But I heard its not just a stage name, but a whole person" humming in agreement, his gaze shot through my skin "Explain please, I need to know" but before he could even talk, the girl next to him shot between 

"Well why don't you educate yourself? If you would be actually interested you would search it up wouldn't you?" 

"could you... could you repeat that I didn't quite catch what you said" I said, making her scoff and turn her head and Nicki chuckled "No for real please repeat I couldn't understand" was she mad? 

"She said that you're cool to be interested" Artem meant, but I felt that he lied. 

"Anyway, I should explain right?" Kostya spoke up again, making me nod "Mélovin I created because of fears, you know social and stuff, so I could perform better" 

ok that made a lot of sense

"So he's like the cool dude, and you "play" him in media and stuff?" he wobbled his hand "it's so I feel more confident" 

"ahh ok" I smiled. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

We talked more, letting the whole persona thing drop "why do you know what Eurovision is, aren't you American?" Lena snapped, as we came to talk about the show "Um, I grew up in a Russian household, my grandmother would force me to watch it since I was five or something" why is she like that "oh" then she turned to ignore me again, facing the singer. Somewhen the cat came back, now sitting on my lap.

"you know that one song dancing Lasha Tumbai?" Kostya asked "Who doesn't" and then the whole group started to sing,

"SIEBEN SIEBEN AYLULU SIEBEN SIEBEN EINS ZWEI" 

and I ended up gasping for air, small tears rolling down my cheek still chuckling, as Kostya started to perform the whole song, inclusive performance.

"why am I friends with you?" Nicki said, massaging her nose bridge, but smirked as well. 

"because we're amazing?" I said,

"Mhmmm I don't know about that" and I tackled her, being fake mad so that she could laugh as well. 

As everyone came down again, my eyes wandered to a clock, which hid between the rest of monochrome black and white furniture on the grey wall, already half-past eleven? "Guys I have a train to catch" I meant, earing a multivoiced "Noooo" and a "Well get up or you'll need to walk home". 

And I rushed to give Nicki a hug before standing up, patting Artem's shoulder, and waving the other girl goodbye, not even expecting her to do anything, as she did nothing. 

"I'll bring you to the door" Kostya meant, getting up from his seat. And as I got my shoes on he whispered "I'm sorry for Lena, she seems to be in a bad mood today" but I just shrugged, "it's okay" before opening the door, "See you" his arms wrapped around me for a hug, but they were gone before I could react "Bye-bye" i pet is cat , before standing up straight again and gave him a smile which he returned before walking down the stairs and out the building.

Rushing through the dark to get to the station, I lit myself a cigarette and got myself a ticket.

Hopping from one foot to the other as I waited for the that the machine spits out my ticket.

An announcement rang over the place, "train 236 is expected to be five minutes late". For real, and for what did I hurried so much now. 

Lowly groaning I sat down on an old metal seat, getting my phone out and texting Angie that I was on the way back home before disentangling my headphones and turning up some music. Though I threw my Cigarette away, smoke flew through the air, every time I breathed out. 

I need to get used to this weather I thought as a song came up Angie showed me, "ПЛАКАЛА" from an artist called KAZKA. I liked it, even if I couldn't understand everything she sang. Finally, the train arrived, and as I rose from my seat. 

The cold air the train brought with it, flew right into my face, making me shiver. rushing to get into the warmth of the Train, I sat down, being almost completely alone, except for an older man who read the newspaper and the controller to whom I showed my card and that he quickly disappeared again. 

The ride felt longer than earlier this day, as well as the way to my apartment. looking around every two minutes as I walked on the sidewalk, the only light leading my way was the dim Streetlight, who had their best times long before then. Relieved when I saw my street, I already took out my key so that I didn't have to stand in the dark any longer to unlock the gate. 

Rushing up to our staircase, I knocked at the door, while calming my breath. It didn't take my roommate long to open up "My god you're face is glowing, come in come in!" she closed the door behind me "I'll make you a tea Shortie, go take a quick shower, you'll get sick otherwise" and I nodded relived, doing as I was told to and not long after sitting on our couch, wrapped in a blanket, with a steaming hot tea on the small table.

\---------------------------------------------

"Thanks," I whisperd, as my friend came in, holding two bowls "I made Borschtsch," she said, putting down the foot and sat down beside me. I opened my blanket for her to nuzzle in as well. there we both sat, silently eating and spending just some time together like we used to do when we were younger.

"Now tell me, what did you do?" Angie meant after finishing her bowl

"I watched them practices for the semi-final, the boy needed a bit of confidence boost," I told her, scratching the last rest out of my bowl

"And then we talked" 

she nodded "I'm glad that you're a bit comfortable with new people, a few years back and you would've still sat at home" I chuckled at her words "True". 

Angie stood up again and brought the things back into the kitchen, coming in the room she started talking "you said Lena was there to, spill the tea, what happened" 

"Girl was in a bad mood, my god" I said, throwing my hands up 

"She seemed pissed as I didn't understand one thing she said" 

"She gives off really bad vibes don't you think"

"Hmh, but, I mean maybe she's just skeptical, maybe she's a nice girl" I said shrugging. 

"Hm, I don't think so" Angie nuzzled back into the blanked. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

After a while of silence, I spoke up again "I forgot to tell you, but first up, his Apartment his stylish as hell"

she nodded "I expected that"

"And second, it smelled so fucking nice like... Whoo" she chuckled as I fell back against the backrest. 

"be honest his perfume on Monday smelled nice to" she teased 

"Oh my, Yesss but what should I say? Wow Kostya you smell so good, he smelled like he just fucked, and it was good" 

"You like him?" 

"not like that, but one thing I noticed too," I said, remembering today "I think Lena has a thing for him", the green-haired one hummed "Maybe she asks the way she does because she thinks we want her man" and made quotes with her fingers "That would make sense would it?" I hummed. 

From the kitchen, relaxing music played and we snuggled up again enjoying the warmth the other one gave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4161 words 
> 
> and hello ladies and gentelman, its me, the writer who has weird waves of insperation :)
> 
> anyway what do you think about this so far?
> 
> leave a vote and/ or critism in the comments <3
> 
> till then~


	7. Ｗｈａｔ ｉｆ...?

I walked away from the table, a small smile plastered on my face "OMG I am so excited for Mélovins performance" 

"Same, honestly if he doesn't win I will cry", if they knew...

well what should they know? I mean I don't know anything either. Maybe I had Contact with one of the biggest Celebrity crush half of the Ukrainian girls had, but that doesn't mean I knew that he would win right?

"Oxana, stop dreaming, help me serve" Boris snapped his finger in front of me, and shoved two Lattes in my direction, "Sure" I grumbled, walking behind him and wishing the constumers a good day.

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Ey Boris" I called while break, "What's up?" 

"Where is the nearest grocery store...as cheap as possible?" I asked, eyes glued to the message I just received from my roommate, including a list of things I were supposed to buy and her cussing about her needing to go get stuff for the store in another city and if I tell you that was the most fun I had, hearing an audio, it was truly entertaining.

"Don't know, I don't shop at those" I rolled my eyes, not even giving the blond a look to satisfy his needs,

"So when are u home?" I texted, getting up to go to the bathroom.

It took her a while to respond "Late, around 8 hell maybe even around 3 am, Lewvyn really doesn't care until he has these fucking new wine glasses. And who does he send to Fucking Tiraspol? Me! We're a bar, nobody drinks Wine here!" 

I let her ramble for a while, afterward getting out of the Bath, and started working, without looking at my other co-workers, who I couldn't judge giving me that look for "sitting" on the toilet for ten minutes. 

With a smirk I swang the broom around, acting like I actually cleaned. "Oh, I like this track" Jeff suddenly exclaimed, turning up the volume. Blond-haired barista nearly let go of the mug he cleaned, before vibing. "Reach out, touch faith!" I mouthed, using my broom as performance help and bobbing my head. 

"Your own personal Jesus,

Someone to hear your prayers,

Your own personal Jesus,

Someone to hear your prayers,

Someone who's there."

After getting shooed back to work, I still hummed the lyrics at the end of my shift and in the backroom to get changed.

"and what are you gonna do on this beautiful Tuesday?" my co-worker asked, to fill the awkward silence between us, and I answered, pulling my coat closer around my frame "You're sure we're still talking about the same Tuesday?" and I let my spend close with a loud thud "I haven't seen the sun today" 

"But neither rain so it's a good day" he said, following me outside "I don't understand why you hate rain so much" I mumbled, a cigarette between my lips "You don't need to" Jesus and there the reason came why we didn't talk again. "Anyway bye" walking off I rolled with my eyes, typing in some Shop-name I picked up from some customers conversation earlier and taking given direction.

While doing so I allowed me a look at my weather app, wishing I didn't "1.5 cels." dude I don't understand why I'm still alive, where is autumn when you need it? Anyway, I turned in the next street, walking on a well-used cemetery ground, I decided to get my earbuds out the second I saw a group of teens coming my way, turning up the song from earlier, just to get rid of my thoughts about it. Looking straight forward, my head held up high I passed them, goosebumps running up my spine as I felt their stares, and happy as the monotone Google voice told me to turn in left and I'll arrive.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taking a deep breath as I were out of their sight, I put my earbuds away again and ruffed my List out. Looking up at the building, the sign had probably seen better times, well never mind, here we fucking go, with defined steps I entered the store, a wave of sultry air coming towards me.

My list in one hand, an old and nearly broken Basked in the other one. Milk, Eggs, Wine, Noodles... what's the last one? I shook my head, trying to translate the last word in my head, and mumbling around why she needed to write the list in Ukrainian, she Isn't that dumb to know that I'm just stupid. I mean who would have thought that I needed this? After I had everything, and as well the answer to what I missed, which was Bananas... ok I hate myself.

I hurried to the Cash desk. A young girl sat behind the counter, chewing on her gum, and staring right into my soul as I put my things on the top, starring back at her. She slid my stuff over the thing, and I hurried to get them into my bag, not giving up on this competition. "Your total is 499 Grywna" she mumbled, again starring.

"Are you taking Euro as well?" I said my money in hand. it took her a while typing on the machine before she nodded "it will be 15 Euros than" and I gave her the cash, and flew out the door, leaving the Basket in there.

Maybe Boris wasn't that wrong for not going there, I took a deep breath from my cig, and listened to the direction giving voice, in the background playing radio.

"Now to the three days weather trend" the man Voice started, and I pushed the button on the traffic light swaying around a bit. I couldn't feel my toes.

"This whole week isn't looking too good is it Vlad?...."

"Oh yes it's looking terrible, 2° tomorrow, and around 5 to maximal 9° the next two days"

"Shit" I mumbled, now walking on the other side of the main road. "The next 20 meters follow the road" I rolled my eyes.

"Next Theme, Vibdir!!" the other man's voice suddenly yelled into my Ears, making me cringe. "Omg, it's gonna be so exciting" another now female moderator exclaimed. "You're just watching it for Mélovin aren't ya?" I smiled a bit, his name was in everyone's mouth.

"maybe... but he's a really good singer AND it gives extra points for looking sharp doesn't it"

"No"

"Well here is mélovin with his song Under the ladder, for Vibdir, we are Alternative radio Odessa"

"And enjoy" and their voices went off, his music playing instead,

"turn left and you will shortly arrive at you're Goal" as I had been told, I turned into my street, nodding my head slightly. Walking up the stairs to my apartment, the boy from the lower Floor closed his door and greeting me as I passed him.

——————————————————————————-

In my room, I changed into my sweatpants and an oversized hoodie and shuffled into the kitchen. An old Can Coffee waited on the counter, as well as my Grocery and the Newspaper. A little Stickynote hang on it "For you're education <3" and I blew air out my nose, shaking my head. how caring she was, am I right?

Putting in my purchase where it belonged, I heated up the coffee again, we needed to save money.

As I was finished with that, I got my stuff and sat in the Niche in the Living room, Jazz playing in the back. Flicking through the newspaper I drank my coffee before I translated the hardest ones in my block. Again Kostya was all over it, even a Picture of him, and the other participants, on the front page.

"Even with his bad pronunciation, he got so famous" I chuckled, well knowing he would kill me if he heard that.

My phone vibrated "3 new messages from whats-app" I took it, letting the papers slid off my lap.

First I opened Angies chat, of course, to see two long, like 5 minutes long, Voice Messages and I clicked play, preparing myself for the mad girl. 

"Oh my fucking God, Oxana!" a car Honked,

"I've been standing in this traffic jam for half an hour right now, and you know what, I'm still on the on the there" again a Honk,

"Bitch lookout where you're going!!!" she screamed "Again, where was I? ahh and every three seconds after music plays here in the radio, ok I'm bored, it's about Vibdir, I can't hear it anymore" 

the next message went on, and it was just her, complaining about her car and the radio and the other drivers... did I mentioned the car? But what would I be for a bad friend if I wouldn't answer that with a Voice mail as well? 

So I pressed record, and started "You know that you can't drive right? it's not just the others" and I chuckled, knowing what I was gonna get as an answer 

"But anyways, I've got the groceries, done my homework and am kinda bored right now, do you want me to cook something, or do your clothes?" and the message sent. 

for a while, I just looked at my screen, before I saw the blue 1 in the corner, another chat.

It was the Singer, asking if I wanted to call and I simply typed his number in. Kostya answered his phone in two seconds.

"hello my friend"

"Whatcha doing?" I sighed, "Not much, you?" and it took him under a minute to reply 

"I bore myself, I hate to drive so long, and Artem is in a bad mood "

"where are you going, say hi to Artem by the way" 

"Kiew, Vibdir, and a Concert today, you sound like a grandmother" 

"Shut up, I don't... is Kiew cool?"

"Yeah, thought about moving there for a while, but... it changed"

"man what happened?"

"Nothing" he answerd, way to quick,

"And I should trust that answer?"

"Yeah you should, anyway, how was your day?" 

"Nothing special, got groceries by myself" 

"Wow I'm so proud of you" 

"Fuck you!"

"Love you too"

"Yeah yeah for sure, question do you listen to the radio?" he chuckled, making me grin, by the fuzzy feeling spreading in my brain "Right now? Yes"

"Boy, your name is everywhere my one moderator started talking about you like you're a god"

"I am a God" Artem's laughter sounded in the background "You sure about that?" I giggled, and he did too, making my smile grow a bit bigger. 

The conversation continued, and to no surprise, we came to talk about his performance in a few days "To be honest, I'm not even that scared, just exited"

"Yeah I wouldn't be scared either if so many people loved what I do" he chuckled again. "But it's hard, to have none of my friends there, I can't see my team, because it's backstage and my parents aren't coming" Kostyas voice turned from the adult he was to a small teenager, his voice low and fragile.

"Mhmm, but they are gonna welcome you with open arms to celebrate your Win"

"Not for two days, after that we're staying here to do an Interview-" 

"AND TO PARTY" that voice was so unwelcomed and I sighted "Thanks Lena for letting me know that" making his laughter echo through the speaker. "that's what I wanted to say"

"Well, you seem less euphoric about it than everyone else is"

"Artem is on my side, am I right?"

"Mhm," his friend hummed, probably concentrated on driving.

"Partying is good for you, to lighten up"

"tell that my Parents" I leaned backward,

"They're gonna love me, everyone does that right?" why would you say something like that Oxana??? shit shit shit

"Ehhhh"

"Ey you said that before!" we both laughed again. Lena's voice rang in the back. I couldn't translate her high shrieks, but Kostya did for me "Oxana, I'm sorry but I'm needed here"

"For what" fuck, that slipped out,

"Well..." 

"I'm sorry that wasn't supposed to be said" I shifted again "You good, I know what you mean" I felt my smile return again.

"Well see ya next...are you free on Wednesday?" wait...what? my answer shot faster than my thoughts

"sure" and for a bit, the other one stayed quite "Well than see you next Wednesday" I left out a shaky breath "byeee" The sound exclaimed that Kostya had hung up.

My gaze turned to the grey cloudy sky, and my little voice in my head spoke up "What if I..."

———————————————————————————

It was 2 am, as I checked, clicking the next episode on my screen, but a message interrupted the third episode of Criminal Minds I watched. 

"I'm standing outside, please open, I'm cold".

I sat up, and sprinted down our corridor, letting the door open. behind it, my roommate stood, Arms wrapped around her body, nose, and cheeks glowing red. "You're back, finally" and I hugged her. but she pushed me off quicker than I wanted to, and ran to the bath, letting the door close behind her loudly.

With a smile on my face, I picked her bag up, which she left in the Corridor, and closed the door behind me.

"Coffee or Tea?" I asked, trying to be louder than the Shower was. "Tea! I want to sleep!" she screamed back, so I let her be and boiled some water. 

While I prepared a small plate with cookies I heard the door open and wet feet rushing into another room. She finally came into the living room, in a nightdress, fast to accept the blanket I sat on her place. "caramel tea is okay right?"

"of course!" she mumbled, taking a sip out of her mug. "how are the glasses looking?",

she wrinkled up her Forhead "Great, but I saw Levwyn in underwear, nothing I want to redo" I chuckled, laying my arm on the couch headrest, and my head on it, to look at her closer.

"What do you think about a weekend trip?" 

"What do you mean?"

"You know just going somewhere, having fun, seeing something cool," she sighed, "just spit it out" and taking a Cookie "Its a long story how I came up with it but-" I fumbled around with the fabric of my sleeve "Just say it" she meant, a piece of her chewed up cookie flowing my way. "You can't eat"

"Don't change the subject then" oh god, the voice in my head said, rethinking my whole idea and existence.

"what would you think if I told you that I bought tickets for Vibdir?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2450 words
> 
> ladys and gentlemans, I am so sorry, i know this isn't really long but on the bright side, we are moving forward aren't we?
> 
> sooooooo what do you think about this?
> 
> Leave a vote and/or a comment for some critic <3
> 
> till then~


	8. Ｉ ｓｗｅａｒ, ｉｆ ｈｅ ｄｏｅｓｎ'ｔ ｗｉｎ ｔｈｉｓ, ｈｅ'ｓ ｇｏｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｉｎ ｂｉｇ ｔｒｏｕｂｌｅ - Ａｎｇｉｅ

She stayed quiet, studying my face and her popping up the vein on her wrist seemed more interesting, than everything else in the room. 

"Please tell me you're joking" the words sunk deep into my skull and I whispered an "I'm not" letting my head drop in my arm-crook again, what did I think? The Pianist sighting filled the air, and she brushed over my head once before she spoke up "But you'll need to tell me the whole story" 

"Angie, it's almost 3 am, I don't want to make you upset, not right now" I muttered.

It got quiet, every second of it made my stomach contracted as before. Shifting to sit up straight again, I took a cookie, the sweet flavor spreading on my mouth, making my senses numb, why are those so sweet? 

"I'm free, Rest of the Week... didn't I tell you Lewvyn is renovating?" with courage, my gaze met with hers, and I shook my head, letting a small smile creep up my face. "So you can tell me why now!" she added, making a rolling hand move. "Ok so..." I breathed out heavy "I talked with Kostya today and he- well he was sad, quiet, very off"

"Shortie, we don't know him since 2 weeks, you don't know him" she exclaimed, filling up both of our cups. "Well but I'm worried, plus Lenas with them" my teeth nibbled on my under lip "She doesn't like you, I don't like her, but that's not a reason to buy fucking tickets to Vibdir" her voice turned stern, reminding me of my mother "no of course not... look I'm just worried, and I thought it would be fun..." 

"We don't have money"

"but I saved...a bit at least" her hands met with her thighs and Angie shook her head, making her wet hair spread around her face. 

"Tell me how much" 

"how much what?" I sunk down into myself, as she again got stern "The tickets!"

"around 100 to 150 for two" 

"that's a lot of money..." I nodded, drinking my cup empty, the fluid warming my inside for a bit "You'll pay that" before she spoke up again "And I'm not driving" and stood up.

"Get everything you need, and don't forget packing, I'm going to sleep". I sat alone in the dark, the one candle flame on the table dancing around, like a lazy ballet dancer. With a sloppy gesture, I moved my hair out of my face and massaged my Temples. 

This is gone so wrong. 

You can't change it now, take rest, It'll be okay, the small voice In my head said, and I nodded to myself, doing what I thought. After bringing away the plate and cups, I headed off to my room, sliding on the carpet. 

In there I went to grab my cigarette box just to realize a single Stick remained in there, I took it and opened my window before I set the cig on fire till it climbed.

Letting the deadly smoke escape my mouth I watched the lights behind the next house's roof, it was only glims of light and some music played from somewhere. Frustration took over me, and I snipped the stub down before closing the window. The Blanked and pillow welcomed me, as I let myself drop, starring at the ceiling. "Fuck" I groaned, rubbing both my hands over my face as that would wash away my thoughts. Go to sleep! the voice in my head sounded again. So I did my best turning to lay on my stomach and closing my eyes.

\-----------------------------------

"Oh fuck" I muttered, the machine in front of me showing a big "200 euro" in my face. That's all I have? wait... did the tickets book off already? Anyway, I let the machine spit out half of the money for me to keep, and I secured it in my Pocket, hurrying out the bank.

The bread in my other Hand is my reason for going outside, I held them tightly, the whole way back to my apartment. 

"Good morning dear listeners, its 5 am on the 21, 02 and you're listening to Alternative radio Odessa, now with deep House music till 8 am, enjoy" sighting I opened the door to the stairs and walking them up as quiet as possible, as well as trying to get into the kitchen, without making Angelina wake up. Because this was my Plan to apologize.

Getting everything we needed on a tray, getting out of my coat and shoes, while boiling water, I watched the corridor, for her shadow. She didn't show up. I starred out the small window, watching the traffic below our apartment while filling the boiling water into the coffee can. Packing and getting the Train tickets, that's everything I had to still do right? I mind-checked my list, that hung on our refrigerator, and nodded to myself.

After I finished making breakfast, I put it in the living room and tip-toed to my Friend's room. The door hadn't moved more than a Millimeter open before she mumbled an "I'm coming, okay, I'm coming, five minutes" and shooed me away. Stay positive, again, this little voice called, as it did the whole day along and it slowly started to get on my nerves. even if it was right, that thing is such a know-it-all, gosh! 

I sat down on the couch, crossing my legs, listening to the Radio. As the song came to its end, the green-haired, came in, greeting me with a low "morning" and sitting down next to me. Without saying a word, she made herself something to eat and munched on her bread. we have time, let her eat.... so I followed her actions, drinking my coffee.

After she was done, silence pressed down, making my heartbeat stumble. "so when are we going?" she asked, looking at me over the edge of her mug. I opened my mouth, closed it again, finally spoke up and said "Friday around 6 pm" and she nodded. "what do I need to pack"...I pulled my eyebrows together "Are you joking?" 

"I thought you wanted to go there" she asked, tilting her head "... yes" I breathed out through my nose "Something you wanna wear then, maybe something bit fancier as well" 

"fancy for a club or fancy for a gala?" 

"fancy for a club" she snickered "You really don't want to leave him with Lena alone, do you?" her mocking tone made me mad "you know, I actually just wanted to go out with you, like just the two of us" and stood up, taking my things and putting them in the dishwasher.

She followed me fast "Oxana I didn't mean to-"

"Please just leave it now, I know you didn't want to do this in the first place, but if you were him, I would've probably done even more" 

"... I know"

"Yeah so understand it, please" and I left the kitchen as well, heading for my room around the corner. As I arrived there, I put all my stuff I was supposed to do on my bed: Laptop, News, College Block, and my Phone. 

Beginning with my Translations, which took me some long ass time, trying to understand why the hell stupid soccer fans are getting arrested again, or why the hell everywhere on this world, war is on fire. After that, it had now passed two hours and a full playlist, I gripped my phone, checking if someone had sent me a message. Who would've thought somebody actually did.

"Hey are you up?" send from Kostya, so I opened the chat and replied "Sure, what's up?" the hooks behind my message turn directly blue, 

"nothing I just wanted to talk" 

"About what?" 

"Just something" 

"You bored?" 

"Yeah...XD" 

"Ok so... how is your hotel?" 

"Idk, it has a really fancy name, but it's not really special" I rolled my eyes, a smirk on my lips 

"Not enough for Mr. Superstar?" 

"It's okay, I have company" he just ignored my message, didn't he? "Artem and Nicki I assume?" "yup, and Lena" I shut my mouth and phone before I could say something stupid again, taking a deep breath before opening my phone again. I wrote a message in the group chat, as most of the people should be up by now. 

"Ello Guys" and it didn't take Luca and Sav long to answer "Hiiiiii" "hello" making me smile 

"How are my favorite people in this world are doing?" Savelie asked further, making me type in "Dunno ask them" and getting an "R u serious? I meant you too" 

he did? my voice in my head sounded as surprised as I was.

"Anyways, what are you guys up to?" Nicki asked, receiving a voice mail from Luca. "Ok guys Listen, I need to tell you this, so a guy walked in here, wanting to get his first tattoo. Direct a full sleeve, and is now vomiting in the Bath. guess he's a bit sensitive" her chuckle followed.

"Didn't know you worked in a tat Shop" my roommate said. "It's a tattoo and piercing shop, lady" I grinned at Kostyas Message "Can only recommend the store, I got my two tattoos there." I pressed record, and an evil idea forming in my head "Didn't expect you to have tattoos, thought you were a bit too soft for that" and earned a lot of laughing answers as well as, again an I Love you too, from the singer. 

The conversation ended faster than we all wanted, but they all seemed to be a bit more stressed with work than I was, sitting on my bed, snuggled in a Blanked. 

To act like I was doing something, I took my computer and searched up a Train Line which could bring us directly to Lviv, as well as a hotel to stay in for the two nights. With a bad feeling checked on our Tickets, but for nothing, they were already paid off and ready to be printed. Whereupon I did that, printing the train cards and hotel confirmation as well. Rushing in the living room to catch the papers, which flew out of the Printer, I saw Angie playing again. Her back towards me, big Headphones isolation my printing noise and later steps back into my room from her hearing.

\------------------------------------------------

The next day went by in a hurry, Angie and I didn't talk much to each other, but that's okay because that's how adults keep sane around each other right?

\---------------------------------------------------------------

It was Friday, around 4 pm and I just finished showering. In our corridor, two large sports bags and two back bags stood, ready to go. I let out a small sight, returning to my room, to get into my clothes. Nothing too formal, as we had a 9 hours long train drive to sit through. 

Checking myself in the mirror, I fidged around on my loose black sweater, gave that up, and put my damp hair up, before finally leaving my Bedroom.

"Ready?" I asked looking at the older one, who sat on the ground, getting into her shoes.

"Yeah sure" she looked up at me, her honey eyes searching around in my face before talking up "Look, I don't want to make you feel bad" her whispers were gentle, and it made me smile, as I crouched down, to get into my sneakers "It's fine" and threw over an oversized cardigan. My bag swung over one of my shoulders, and I took my other stuff in my hand, before looking at her, "Taxi should be here in a few secs" and following the green-haired one out our apartment, grabbing a pair of sunglasses before I locked the door behind me.

At that time the Pianist had already got to the bottom of the stairs and I ran down the stairs as well. We were greeted outside, by white flakes flowing down.

"It's snowing?"

"It's fucking snowing" the other one exclaimed, taking a puff from her cigarette as we went to the sidewalk.

"When did we saw snow together the last time?" I asked, more to myself than to the other one, she returned a "When did we watch snow together ever?" and it got quiet, really quiet. 

Unlike the other days, the snow even protected us from the few noises the traffic made. I watched the snowflakes dance around the dim sunset light, and how it colored in every shade of orange, red, and yellow. Angelina ruffled through her hair "Hey..." 

"Hm?" I looked up at her, and my friend stood there for a while, watching me before silently opening her arms. I took my chance and imminently fell into her embrace, holding her and swaying a bit. "Eww your hair is wet" she giggled, so soft, that I almost couldn't hear her.

A smile formed on my face, "Are we good now?" and she nodded, holding me a bit looser so we could look at each other. "You're the only thing I have" I murmured, leaning against the cold hand she held to my cheek "I know...that's why I care so much" she returned. Suddenly a yellow car pulled up, the light shining from its sign making me jump a bit. "Taxi for Oxana Dmitriev".

\--------------------------------------------------------

The driver didn't even try to make up a big conversation, and after we said where we needed to go and he told us that we'll take around 10 minutes to get to the Station, he left us both in the backseat, while he listened to some podcast, in another language.

Angie got her phone out, and handed me one of her earbuds, before clicking a playlist. Some piano tunes started playing, and after a few moments I could tell which one it was, her favorite "Moonshine Sonata-Beethoven" but she saved it in the original German title.

I took her hand shivering a bit, as cold air blew into my face, from the front seats. With the melancholic tones in my ear and her hand in mine, I got a bit closer to her, trying to get some warmth. The older one noticed that, so that we spend the rest of the drive, snuggled together, starring out the window.

\--------------------------------------------------------

After I paid the driver, Angie and I stood on the Plaza, just analyzing what to do next. For a Friday, the place seemed oddly empty, despite the wagons selling food or souvenirs. 

My grip around my Sports bag got tighter, as I went after my friend.

Her steps were strict, and I copied her actions, rose my Head higher, and pulled my shoulders straighter. As the people around got less, or to say, we arrived in the tall building. The moment the automatic doors opened, stale air struck us. 

I managed to step beside her, shoving our Tickets in her hand. "So I'll check us in right? could you get coffee?" she asked stopping at the big blue monitor with tons of Towns, names, and Times on it.

She pointed somewhere on it "Ours arrives in ten minutes" so I nodded, and went back around to the shop we just passed, which I presumed to be a bakery, and I was right. 

Standing in front of the glass vitrine, and ordering two coffees, I thought about something "And could I get one of these...." as the word left my brain I just pointed at what I wanted, and the woman on the other side beamed at me "Sure honey, here..:" and put everything on the counter. "that'll be 33.412" and I fumbled out my money "Do you take Euro as well?" and to no surprise, she nodded "in euro, you'll be paying 10 €" and before I got out of the shop I waved at her "Bye" getting a lovely, mom-like "Have a great day" back. 

My friend waited at the monitors and took one of the To-Go Coffee out of my hand before I had even came to stop. "That way" her hand loosely showed in one direction, so I just followed her, through the massive building, pushing against the flow of people, who needed to go everywhere, but the direction we needed to. 

It grew louder the farther we got to a station, marked with a 3A. 

We stood behind the white line on the ground, waiting. Finally, my mind could get some peace. Headache pouted through my skull, this air made me sick.

On top of that, since we stood at an open track, we were directly in the passing through wind. And with every breeze flowing by, my temperature sank to minus cels. Every now and then I sipped on my coffee, holding it between my hands while securing my things between my feet on the ground. 

A loud voice croaked through the listeners, whereupon Angie turned to me "The train must come this way now", and I struggle to smile, clenching my chattering teeth, but nodded. 

She was right, a dark blue Machine rushed in, followed by an even colder Wind. Its doors opened and after we let two boys walk out of it, we went in.

Hurrying to get on the first floor, we climbed the few stairs, and while walking by the half-full seats, Angie managed to get a free four-seater thing. 

We dropped our luggage on either one of the seats next to us and I set my food and coffee on the small table, before finally sitting down. With a loud thud, I threw myself on the seat regretting it immanently "Ouch, these are hard as fuck" and rubbed my back. My friend on the other side of the table just shrugged, leaning her back against the window, and stretching herself out, and taking a book out. "You're a trained train user aren't you?" I chuckled, sitting crisscrossed now. "Only use train and car, so yes" with that she opened the book and the conversation ended.

Suddenly the machine stumbled forward, then starting to drive out of the building. 

Honestly, it made my stomach turn, in an unexplainable feeling. You know like in school, when you're about to do a presentation, but you know it's gonna be good? regardless of how it turns out? that's what if felt, and my small voice in the back of my head, tried to erase my worries and told me to relax, listen to some music and calm down. And I tried my best to do that, putting on my special playlist I had searched up, 10 hours long, and stared out the window, holding my cup securely in my lap.

Bright flickering lights flew past the window, my breath, my breath steamed up the window and I had wrapped my cardigan around my body like a blanket, to escape the changing temperatures on the train. "Hey..." my friend whispered her voice full of tiredness, tapping my arm. "You can sleep now, I'm watching." and I nodded, my eyes almost closing by themselves "Wake me up around 1 okay? we can eat something together than" and without waiting for the answer I shifted, now laying my head on my backpack. Too tired to care what someone would think, walking by an adult sleeping on a train as a child. I drifted off to sleep the second I closed my eyes.

"Oxana...shortie... wake up" my friend's voice woke me, as gentle as possible. I rose slowly, rubbing my face with one hand "What is it?" "It's 1:30 am" earning a groan from me, as I sat up, leaning against the window with my arm and head, not able to hold it up myself. 

Gripping the food I bought earlier this day, ok yesterday to be exact, I pulled a pretzel out of the bag and handed it over to Angie, then wrapped the bag around my pretzel stick so I wouldn't get too many crumbs everywhere. She thanked me with a nod, and we began to munch around on it, knowing that neither of us really wanted to eat, but for the sake of our health we did, like the adults we were. 

While I did so, my phone vibrated and a message from my radio station popped up. So I put my earbuds back in and turned it up. 

"Good morning, or night dear listeners it's nearly 2 am, and this is Sergei with the weather." the usual sound sounded, "Today the maximal temperature is gonna be shiny -6.6° cels and a warning for rain and Snow" he's kidding right? fuck, I sighted. the sound got off again "Please drive slower, the streets are frozen, when you need, go by train or stay at home" and music started playing. Yeah, he was right, this is gonna be an interesting day, despite the sleep we were missing and the Concert we had to attend. What I wouldn't do for my friends, am I right? again a loud sight, and I starred out of the window, staring at the waterdrops batteling to the end of my window.

\------------------------------------------

"Hello?" I asked, pushing the bell on the wooden counter. A while after that a man came to the front, deep rings under his eyes and as he wanted to start talking, a big yawn escaped his mouth, and Angie copied him. 

"Can we just get over this quick?" he asked, looking at us like we were about to make some trouble "that sounds amazing, we're as tired as you are" I smiled at him, and shoving our papers to him. He moved to the computer standing on the counter and began filling in some things, the sound of the keys being the only thing filling the rather small lobby. 

"Ok so you're room will be number 34, it's on the third floor, the elevator is over there" he explained, showing my friend the direction while giving back our papers and the key. I took it and walked in said direction, "Good night" the green-haired girl waved before coming after me. On-time to jump in the elevator in which I was standing. 

The door closed behind her"Its four in the fucking morning and I hadn't slept more than 2 hours, when this boy doesn't win, I'll rip his head out" she mumbled under her breath, as the door opened with a "Ding!" I stepped on the dark green carpet, looking left and right, before finding the direction we needed to go, and going the long corridor down, with stumbling steps. 

"34," the silver Numbers said, and I unlocked the dark door, letting Angie in, before closing it behind myself, as quiet as possible, not wanting to upset other people sleeping here. 

"Finally" with the words she set her Bags down and jumped in the first bed, face first. I followed her, throwing my bags on my bed. In a hurry, I opened the Sports bag, got my pajama out, and changed. The Green-haired looked up and got out her clothes as well, not even bothering to change, just nuzzling in the blankets in underwear. I got under my covers as well, giggling as I stared at the ceiling "We didn't even turn the lights on" but the other one already snored, so I gave up staying awake, and turned to my belly, and closed my eyes again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

" Hello, you people are blessed with me being up to a text with" I let the phone sink down "Are you fucking kidding me, Luca? You wake me up for this?!" I screamed at my phone, throwing myself back into my pillow. 

"Good morning to you too" it came from the other day "it's 4 in the afternoon, don't be a dick, we need to eat and make ourselves ready, we have no time" I rolled my eyes "Don't talk" she groaned, pulling her blanket over her head. 

Going back to sleep wasn't an option anymore and as angry as I was, I decided to go up and shower, so I wouldn't have to do that later. Grabbing the things I needed out of my bag, plus my phone, I swang my legs out of my bed. They came in contact with the freezing air, and goosebumps form all over my body. So I sprinted into the Bath and locked the door behind me. 

The room was actually warm, and I made it even warmer, turning up the shower, and turned up some low beats, to really wake up and get in a better mood, while the water got warmer. As I stood under it, a sight slipped out my lips, and my back cracked. 

After I cleaned myself and did everything else a normal Person does in the bathroom, I opened the door again, only to see a sprinting Angie Rush by and lock the door behind her again. 

Shacking my head I threw the old clothes on top of my bag and started making my bed. After that was done I opened the balcony door to take a break with my cigarette. Sitting down on one of the metal chairs, I put my feet on top of the rail and lightened my Stick. The first puff of deadly smoke ran down my throat and I exhaled it slowly, closing my eyes at the feeling. You may wonder, why I wasn't cold, I was, but not extremely, as I learned from mistakes and wore several other things under my Hoodie, plus the seat wasn't wet neither snowy, like the rest was.

The next Smoke cloud flew in the air and joyned some smoke coming out the chimney of the next house. Honks from the street below sounded up, giving this whole situation at least a bit of Normality. "You wanna go and eat something?" Angie asked, stepping on the balcony as well. I nodded "Sure let me finish this first tho" and she grinned, lighting her own cigarette between her lips. 

"You know somewhere we can eat?" Angie asked the staff behind the hotel counter. "Well, there's a bakery down the street, just a small march and another one, buts it's farther away, around here" she pointed out on the map on the counter. "So for the bakery just go left and we'll see it right" she earned a nod .

"Okay thank you" I smiled at her before we headed outside, and turned left on the sidewalk.

Angie jumped slightly, as her phone rang "Hello?" she picked up "Oh hey Nicki..." a smile grew on her Face "No no you didn't wake us, we're up to get food" I panicked, mouthed her to not say something about where we were. 

"I'm good, how are you? slept enough?" Angie giggled, "Me neither, what's up, why'd you call?" she fixed her gaze on the snow as we walked, and nodded once or twice 

"Really?"... 

"Yeah I can imagine the stress, poor thing, But he did a great show didn't he?" they're talking about Kostya, "say hello from Oxana to him okay?" again a quiet laugh, and I spotted the café "Yeah he'll be happy to hear that, wouldn't he?" so I tapped her arm to signalize it "Nicki, I love talking to you but we're at the café, we'll talk later okay? byeee" and finally hung up.

Afterward, I opened the door for her, and we were greeted by the same atmosphere the shop I worked at had, and I loved it. "Something about these shops relaxes me so much," I said, after we ordered something to eat, "Same" my friend replied, taking a sip from her Mocha. The breakfast went on rather quiet.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Show starts at 6pm!" Angie screamed tugging in her shirt "and it's 4:30pm, we have time!" I screamed back, curling my hair in the bathroom while texting with the Person we're doing all this for, Kostyra.

"this is appropriate right?" I asked, spinning around, to give my friend a view. "every dude would love it" Angie snickered, putting her pony in a small bun "Buts it's okay right?" and she nodded, making me drop my shoulders again. "Okay, purse....shoes" I struggled to get into my sneakers, but did eventually "tickets, what do we need more?" I mumbled to myself "What do we need Angie?" repeating it louder. 

"You got some protection?" 

"What the hell?!" I turned to look at her "I meant for crumpy dudes, pepper spray or something, you perv" she said, laughing, which made me laugh as well. 

"I don't-" trying to get more air in my lungs "I don't think we'll need that." She nodded, putting the spray in her bag anyways, before jumping up and down a bit "Ready when you are" and after that I checked myself one last time in the mirror, trying to get that one lock to not spring in my face all the time, but gave up and said as well that we're ready to go.

"I have the key when we're searching for it later okay?" Angie said, holding my arm with hers, as we walked down the corridor. 

"My god I feel like a celebrity" I giggled in the elevator, pushing my Sunglasses down a bit so I could look over their edge "We are celebrities, just some no one knows" the green-haired replied, taking the lead and pulling me out the elevator as we reached the bottom. 

Outside, it hadn't changed much, it was cold, and the air still somehow made you clammy, but at least it had stopped snow-raining. 

The older one waved for a Taxi and named our driver the location we needed to be at, in the next hour. "Half Hour drive, that's the fastest I can do" he replied and drove off.

"So how are you feeling?" I texted Kostya again, and it took a while for the message to be sent, and even more, time till he had read it, but still, I got an answer "nervous, excited, a mix"

"You'll win this easy" I smiled at my message, hoping it would cheer him up.

"Idk about that, there's Tyanna, she's really good" ok maybe the message didn't work the way it should. An idea popped up in my head, and I turned on my camera, making a Foto of me and well Angie smiling at the camera and acting like cheering "You've got this" and send it.

A voice message came in reply, starting off with him chuckling, with a female other voice, I couldn't get a face to. "We'll arrive in a few" the driver suddenly said, getting me out of my gaze, and peeled my eyes off my screen. 

"This is gonna be great" I whispered, squeezing Angies hand "meh" she answered, shrugging her shoulders. 

By the time we arrived, it had stopped snowing and we walked to the entrance of the building, like a lot of people did as well. In the Mass of people around me, I gripped my friend's arm, before holding my head up higher. 

"That way right" and she just pulled me in said direction, and made us stand in a rather short line, to get our tickets checked. Behind us, a group of girls came, one of them holding a red folded Paper. 

As they stood nearer to us, I could pick up some pieces of their conversation "I am so fucking excited" one shrieked,

"Yeahhhh, he looks so good in the outfit!" Covering my mouth I laid my forehead on Angie's shoulder, while she smirked "A real daydream isn't he" 

"More like a nightdream, because of the vampire look" at that point I couldn't hold it anymore and giggled slightly, to earn a hit from my friend, "let them be" she shushed. 

"He'll notice us!" 

"What if not?" the girl in question didn't look older than 17 maybe even 14 "he'll do" 

"He needs to see me, so he can fall in love with me" The pianist pulled me forward to the counter "You will invite me on your wedding then right?" again I slapped my Hand over my mouth, now just to not fully bust out laughing "Of course!!!!". 

Before I could, the older one pushed me forward, so we walked in another crowd, now on the way to what I expected to be the hall for the whole event to happen. "you heard them too right?" I whispered, as we entered a dark, half-full arena, with a stage and Jury podium in the front. "

Yes I did" she smirked again, walking down some stairs like she's been here several times. 

"Fall in love with him?! Marriage?" I giggled, tugging her in the seat line we had our places. 

"He'll see them and BOOM she's pregnant" and we broke out chuckling, before letting ourselves drop on the seats. 

Some time passed and after we dropped the Fangirl talk, with a look at the time, she tapped my shoulder and whispered in my ear "How did you get these cards? Like...?" she pointed at our view we had, somewhat on the same level as the artist could see, while performing, so I answered, also whispering "Every other seat wouldn't make sense would it?" and chuckled a bit, as she nodded in defeat. 

Five minutes before the show started, the doors started closing, and everyone got a bit quieter, as first up the Jury and moderator walked on stage, doing what they were supposed to be doing. my phone vibrated. 

"new message from Kostya" fuck... I opened it anyway. 

"Can I call you?" 

"Angie!!" I whisper-yelled, her head snapping my way "What am I supposed to DO?" my voice cracked, "Just say you can't" 

"but that's rude..." she shrugged, turned back to the stage, so I typed in a "Sorry, rn is really loud, I can't, you'll be doing great, your fans love you, remember?" and shut it down. Right on time, as the spotlights and cameras turned. The show started.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been five performances already and when I tell you that I was so confused, It's real. The jury and moderator talked in Russian, made me more shrink in my seat, wanting to disappear, Internally..... On the outside, I was laughing and clapping along with the crowd, and were enjoying the music, which was only true, because this was actually fun. 

The moderator caught me off guard as he stopped talking, and on the massive monitors, Mélovin appeared. Short insights into his time at X-Factor, an interview afterward. 

I held my breath. My heart beating out my chest. 

Hands began to sweat. And there he was, red light going off.

"Curtains down, I'm laughing at the trial

Help me to unravel

Tangle of my innocence inside

Faith's bout to be severed"

his voice was dark, and low, sending shivers down my spine. His gaze breathtaking, one eye covered with a white contact. He moved his hands around, moving on beat like he tried hypnotizing us, and he did Holy shit...

"Oh oh oh oh, won't get any better

Oh oh oh oh, walk under the ladder

Shout out just one reason what's this for"

the red lights flickered, his voice raising, and I danced around my seat as secrete as I could. Not taking my eyes off him for a second, I didn't blink.

"You can see that whatever the weather

That the wind's always there, always fair, oh oh oh

And it has always been now or never

The decision has got to be made, oh oh oh"

I couldn't hide my grin, as the girls in the back started screaming. and I cheered as well.

"Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh, yeah

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh, yeah"

even Angie beside me had started singing quietly and clapping on beat.

"Desperate thoughts, your hope calls you a liar

Fear begins to revel

Nothing but your will sets you on fire

Fire lasts forever,

Oh oh oh oh, can't get any better

Oh oh oh oh, dance under the ladder

If you dare, so what you're waiting for"

A small smirk tugged on his lips and he flipped his hair.... he knew what he did

"You can see that whatever the weather

That the wind's always there, always fair, oh oh oh

And it has always been now or never

The decision has got to be made, oh oh oh

(Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh, yeah)

(Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh, yeah)"

seducing a whole room, with such an innocent song. I held my breath, the music booming up my body, I could feel the beat in every fiber of me.

"You can see that whatever the weather

That the wind's always there, always fair, oh oh oh

And it has always been now or never

The decision has got to be made"

and the moment, the music slowed down, his eyes met mine, I thought they did, and a huge smile spread on my face. He smirked, letting his eyes in the direction we sat, the girls around us losing it.

"You can see that whatever the weather

That the wind's always there, always fair, oh oh oh

And it has always been now or never

The decision has got to be made"

and there he went, up the stairs, losing his jacket along the way, building riffs in his singing. The staircase began to burn, heat rushing through my veins. 

Suddenly, it got quiet, his hands moving on the piano like a routine, him singing his soul out his chest, before striking a pose, flipping his hair. 

The song was over.

But that didn't leave me time to relax, as he appeared only minutes after that, next to the moderator, breathing in the mic, completely out of breath. or his best, he didn't ask too many questions, just letting the moderator talk. 

And later the jury, saying something like "okay" or "thank you" in-between.

Biting and Licking his lips over and over again. Hitching my breath.

are their comments good, or not? 

The second the first guy started talking, Kostyas expression became unreadable, my situation fucked up as the others started talking as well, like a waterfall. in the end, he turned to the camera, "If you want Mélovin to represent Ukraine this year call the ... and 6 for him".

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Afterward, till the near end, I had to recover from the high I just had. Sure I did listened to the rest perform, but my hands shook. It was like I took too much medication, my head spinning, I couldn't answer the message I just got, my face hurting from the smile I wore. He's a Performer, for sure, a damm good one to be exact. 

"Are you ok?" Angie asked, as the big break before the awarding of points, and I just nodded "Never felt better" and she laughed, half hugging me "You are a disaster" 

"Disaster for adrenaline yes, a disaster for shows? Maybe" and my mind added Disaster for my Friend? nOooOoo, but again, for the tenth time this night, the moderator ruined the moment, started talking, the cameras filming for the live TV show.

The Singers and Bands walked on stage, and I cheered, making the green-haired one laugh, but I didn't care. Kostya had changed, his white shirt changed into a black one, his hair looking like what I imagined a Sex look. 

They began giving out the points, and the graph on the monitor made me cringe a bit. Nah, he got this, who cares about them anyway... okay they had some points right but still, come on. 

The blond girl, who happened to stand beside him, got hugged and squeezed from him like you would do to support someone without saying something. and I hate to admit it, but my mind went into defense mode. She seems kinda weird tho.

I raised my eyebrow, why would she, I'm not even making sense anymore. But she smiles so much, and how happy she is, that's not normal. Ever seen a happy Person before? You're talking bullshit, she's happier and more successful as you are right now so shut the fuck up, I'm trying to enjoy the show, that's when I stopped talking to my subconscious. 

Guess I just missed the whole point awarding from the judges, as the filming had stopped and everyone sat in small groups on the stages. I hated myself for what I did, but I texted him, my mind triumphing inside. 

"Hey ;)" and I saw him pickings the phone from his pocket, smiling at his screen "Hey" "Surprised?" and he looked up from his screen, searching with his gaze through the rows around us, before landing on us, a smirk crept up his face.

"Absolutely" and I smirked back 

"Good, and...how are you?" 

"what do I look like? bored? girl don't act stupid" I felt angles breath on my neck, as she set her head on my shoulder "He has an attitude" she chuckled, waving at him a bit, which he just nodded to "Sorry Mr. I-act-like-i-can-sing-english" I send, getting direct answer "First up, fuck you, second, says the person who sits in a crowd not speaking her language" 

"Am I that obvious?"...he forgot? "Yeah" but then a reporter came up to him, asking him some casual questions.

Our conversation ending there. So I turned to Angie, who as well, was on her phone "Whatcha doing?" I asked, now being the one leaning in "Voting for him" wait... shit "I forgot" my breath hitched, and I went to the side as fast as my fingers could type, and do what I could do, this boy needs to win.

"Did you know he was at Vibdir before? he-" 

"But did't win" 

"He did't win" I nodded "He'll win this time tho" she shrugged "I don't wanna crush your dreams, but it's looking kinda dark for him" ok maybe she was right.

"We'll just pray to... I don't know, god?" making her chuckle.

"I'll pray to Satan, just so he can win" I flipped around, to the girl, who just said that "And you re a fake fan if you don't believe in him" ok what is happening right now, I rolled my eyes, this was way too expensive to let this get ruined by something like this "Sorry, I don't ukrainian understand" and turned back to my friend. 

Waiting for the spotlights to turn back to the stage, and the waterfall of a moderator to came back, I watched the singers up there freaking out. Unfair how some people are so beautiful. Then the cameras went on again "We're live" a voice shouted.

It took a while before the male turned from the jury to the cards he just received, with, when I understood it right, the result. A sly smile tugged on his lips as he read the card, and as his voice sounded around the whole arena, something in my mind just went into "Nope- Mode".

Shifting in my seat, I screeched my legs out, looking left and right around me, in search for something to keep it interesting. And it got, the first persons got their points and got the last places with that. 

Searching for my friend's hand in the dark, and when I found it, squeezed it hard.

My breath hitched every single time he said another name with points.

"Now, with 6 and 5 points, between Mélovin and Tayanna, who will represent Ukraine on the Eurovision 2018?" the whole area got quiet, my heartbeat drumming in my ears. 

The Moderator exhales loudly before opening his mouth again,

"The Winner of Vibdir 2018 is...."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7240 words....
> 
> i think i just broke my own record... this is too long, isn't it?
> 
> I could't find a way to part this into two chapters, sooooo... have fun :)
> 
> leave a vote/comment and some critic so I can Improve <3
> 
> till then~


	9. Ｗｉｎｎｅｒ ｗｉｎｎｅｒ ｃｈｉｃｋｅｎ ｄｉｎｎｅｒ

"The winner of Vibdir 2018 is...."

"Mélovin!!!!"

Tears shot in my eyes.

Milliseconds later we were in the air, screaming and jumping in one place.

"We did it, Angie we did it!!" I screamed over the cheers, a small tear rolling down my cheek as I hugged her. 

Facing the stage afterwards, made me almost break out in real tears.

Kostya stood there, hands covering his hands, and his eyes tearing up. His Fans screamed like crazy, but I was in some kind of daze. Didn't even notice that he went up to hold a speech, I just saw his lips moving, his gigantic smile, and the looks he had on him. 

Everyone saw him, everyone heard him, and I couldn't keep quiet, the feeling blooming up my chest, warm and bubbly, making me smile bigger if that was even possible. 

\------------------------

The show went over rather quickly after that, the arena began clearing out and in the end, we both walked up the empty stairs. "I need to smoke, so bad!" Angie groaned, opening the big doors "Same" I answered, walking behind her in the mass of people. 

"Signing is on the left side" a monotone voice called through speakers "Exit..." the rest went under the screaming and running from Loads of fans. You could see kids sprinting to the left as they fought for their life, making my head ache, so I held it, hoping it will soothe quicker. 

My roommate took my arm and dragged me behind her in a certain direction. So that we, not after more than a minute, stood outside, in the cold. Both a glimmering stick between our lips. 

"I can't believe it" the singer's voice rang through my phone to us, making me smile "I said it, didn't I?" making my friend nodded in agreement. He sighed, making the voices of the others in the background screaming, singing around hearable. 

"Where are you by the way?" Artem's Voice called,

"Somewhere at the entrance, smoking corner" Angie answers, taking a deep drag off her cig. "Whats your hotel?" he asked chuckling again "I believe it's called Autumn Plaza Hotel or something," I said. 

Suddenly a biker passed us, making me jump "Holy fuck!".

It stayed quiet, till Angie and the people on the other side of the Phone broke out laughing and snickering. 

"Do you have it now?" I asked, five minutes later, still hearing chuckling.

but a stern voice called "make yourself ready then, Kostya isn't gonna stay in his hotel tonight" Lena's voice "Yeah we'll find your hotel, the club shouldn't be far away from you?" Kostya said slightly hesitating. 

"We're going dancing?" Angie asked, "Yeah and no reword" Lena snickered.

"Hey give me my phone back!!" Kostyas voice screamed from the back. 

"Anyway Nicki, when are we going?" I asked smirking, watching Angie call over a Taxi, the phone still on loud. 

"WHAT DID YOU-?" 

"GIVE ME MY PHONE YOU-" it creaked in the line. Then the connection was gone. Someone hung up. 

"Oxana come on" my friend called, opening the door of the Taxi. I hurried after her, closing the door behind me. 

The driver didn't waste a second and began speeding up, driving away so that I had a bit of fear about our living chances. 

"And when are we supposed to be there?" the green-haired asked, looking out the window, like this was kindergarten "They didn't answer" I mumbled, texting Artem, who answered with a cute little "We'll come and getcha around elven" even though the message wasn't very meaningful I cracked up.

"He seems like a stressed 40-year-old mom, with five kids" making my friend chuckle as well. "He has three" 

"Wait really" 

Nicki, Lena, Kostya... I counted on my hand "True just three" 

"Did you have a drink already?" she laughed, earning a punch from me for it.

Suddenly the car stopped dead in its tracks, throwing both of us forward, just being caught by our seatbelts. Well, not both of us. I came in contact with the hart surface of the seat in front of me, face forward. 

"Out out" he shooed us, ripping his cash out of Angie's hand. And driving off again.

We both stood on the sidewalk, a bit shooked. Soon or later we needed to came back to ourselves, as my feet began freezing in the already half-melted snow, which had mixed with the street garbage to create gross sludge. 

"Hello, nice to see you again" we were greeted, by the guy from last night, who seemed to slept a bit more. "Hey," I said back, rushing after Angie in the Elevator. As the door closed, I could see him smile and shake his head. 

"My god I'm FREEZING" Angelina exclaimed, jumping from one foot to the other, while I hugged myself nodding. 

The door opened with a ding, making us both run out on the Corridor and then sprint to our door.

On the last meters, I slipped, my shoe made a hurtful noise before my bum met the floor. Angie froze and turned around, we looked at each other before cracking up "Help- help me up you shithead" I laughed, holding my hand out to her get me on my feet again. She pulled me up, and patted my shoulder "You ok?" and I nodded "Now open the ducking door". She shook her head and did as told. 

"Close the windows, I'll prepare the stuff" she clapped in her hands, taking our bags and everything else in the bath. The Window closed with a rather loud bang, and I groaned while slipping out my heels. 

"So that's what you're gonna wear?" Angie asked, holding the black fabric in front of her. "Yeah, but I have something else-" 

"no-no, you're good, gonna rock this, I bet" I shook my head again. 

"Whatcha wanna hear?" I asked, holding my Bluetooth Box up, "Beats, 'cause I got this" she rambled around in her Bag "and we're gonna get warmed up" putting a bottle of Vodka on the counter.

"Are you serious?" I put my phone away not getting an answer out of her, letting my favorite radio station play and the voice of the moderator started 

"Helllooo guys, its Saturday night, everyone's going to the clubs, partying about Vibdir aren't ya?" 

"Oh hell yes, he did it, I won, wheres my money?" 

I smirked at the female, who seemed to be one of the fans we saw today.

"This is fine right?" I snapped my head over to my friend. 

The green-haired girl looked at herself in the mirror, spinning around a bit, holding her dress on her front. It was dark, on the first look black, but dark green (who would've thaught green what a suprise) sparkled through by change of light, her forehead was scrunched. 

"You're gonna look fire" but Angie just mumbled something. 

I nudged her shoulder "You are stunning" and put one arm around her, opening the bottle with my other hand and taking a sip of it, "That's a lot" I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, but laughed afterward, "A sip, and chop-chop" she took a sip as well, and put the bottle on the original counter place. 

We changed, helped each other close the back zippers, and right now, I was curling her hair, while she chooses make-up wore me. "You don't want that much right?" I nodded, taking a strand of her neck hair, and carefully heating it. 

The beats flowed through the bathroom, and I bobbed my head slightly, a small smile tugged on my lips.

"Ready" and we changed position. So I sat on the chair making my make-up, while Angie put my hair up in a high but still comfortable and loose ponytail. A few locks hanging around my face, the wrong way then they should. "Which lipstick do you want?" I asked looking at my friend through the mirror, seeing her that concentrated made me think of the time we used to make ourselves ready before we went out. Keep in mind we were thirteen and fourteen at the time we chatted, and not much older when we met face-to-face.

"Omg do you think she will know I'm...?" Angie asked, checking herself in the window reflection for the tenths time. "My god you look gayer than everyone I know, shut up, if she doesn't fall in love with you instantly, she's blind" but my words didn't seem to reach the other girl, who fixed her hair again jumping from one foot to the other. "What's her name again?" I tried to soothe her mind, "Vivien" "What do you think she's gonna wear?" she stopped in her tracks "maybe a dress, you know, with cute little heels or-" she froze, gaze stuck somewhere behind me. I didn't need o turn around to know that the awaited lover-girl stood behind me. "She gorgeous" my friend choked "Don't say that to me, say it to her" I whisper with a grin, before turning around. Facing a blond girl, her hands folded around a small purse, blushing in a dark red tone. "Come on" I nudged my friend in her side, pushing her to the other girl. "h-hey" "hi" I couldn't help but grin at the behavior of the both. As they had the awkward small talk, another person came beside me. "So you're the friend of Angelina?" and as I turned, a girl, probably a few years older than me, with a bandana and button-down shirt, looked at me, her hazel gaze meeting mine and a grin tugged on her lips.

I snapped out of my trance, "You remember Vivien and Zasha?" I asked the green-haired, who started tracing her lips with something. "How could I forget" a warm smile formed her lips.

"Sad that we lost contact" I nodded. 

"But ey, maybe you'll meet a nice girl in the club," I said, trying to get in the mood "To hook up with?" she laughed, shook her head, and finished her make-up.

"Maybe, who says that you can't find the love of your life in a club?" I shrugged my shoulders and stood up.

Putting the chair back on the Balcony. "Put on your dancing shoes ;)" the message popped up on my screen, and Angie read it out loud. 

"Yeah let's take our slippers and go" she joked, but took her heels and turned to me afterward, but I stopped her before she could interrupt me "I'll hurry okay, don't look at me like that" and copied her, putting on another pair of heels, with a bit chunkier platforms like they instructed us to: dancing shoes.

The second I looked at myself in the reflection of the window and watched Angie standing next to me, typing into her phone, a small smile crept on my face.

\--------------------------

With a last View around the room, looking at the rather big chaos we left-back, before I let the door closed behind my back. 

As we stood in the elevator, my heartbeat slowed down. I turned to my friend, who smiled the same way as I did, knowingly. 

"This is gonna be fun" she chuckled and led me out of the small room, our shoes clattering across the tile floor in the same tact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1942 words
> 
> Guys, I am so sorry that nothing has come for so long and that this chapter has turned out so short.I don't really want to make excuses and whine about it, I just hope that I can make some progress a bit faster now.
> 
> Please please please tell me what you think and leave some feedback/votes.
> 
> till next time~ <3


	10. "Ａｔｔｉｔｕｄｅ"

The cold air hit all my uncovered skin as we left the hotel. But the blood pumping through me was too hot. My body to electric to pay attention.

"Maybe I should've brought a jacket" Angie murmured, already shaking, holding onto my arm tighter. 

"Don't worry, We'll be dancing tonight" I answered, teasingly bumping my side against hers, swaying her a bit "Stop it" she whispers, looking around briefly, before turning her head back to me, "Where are they?", I shrugged my shoulders in response.

\----------

Our not so long waiting in the cold got rewarded as a big taxi van stopped in front of us. 

Through the window, a familiar side profile showed and the Boy turned to us the second I saw him waving us in. 

"Hello Ladies" Konya winked at us as we hopped in the car and closed the door behind us, not so secretly eyeing us up and down.

I sat down in the last row, next to Nicki, my Friend sitting on the last seat on the first back row. Next to the winner boy, who seemed to be taken aback by the cleavage, she had, "Take a picture, lasts longer" Angie returned the wink, and fastened her seat belt.

The Driver led the car on the street again "Attitude Club right?" he asked Artem, who sat on the passenger seat and earned a nod as an answer, before the boy turned around to the rest of us, sitting in the back rows. 

"Nicki, what did you guys drink? It's so quiet" I asked. 

"There was a bit of conflict"

"No conflict, rude Accusations" Lena intervened.

"Explain please", and the blond didn't hesitate and started "So, you see my make-up?" no, you know I'm blind, I rolled my eyes internally, nodded on the outside with a small smile, "So and they all complained about how I was too late and how they had to wait, it takes time to look like this" and I nodded again, trying to ignore the undertone she had, as well as the harsh curves the drivers have cut. 

It seems like there weren't many nice Taxi Drivers. 

"I said it before, and I'll say it again" Nicki scoffed, fixing her long sleeve "I do Make-up.... you could've just asked me, and second, that's nothing to complex to do, you're overdramatic" and let herself fall back in the seat again.

Ouch, that must hurt, I thought, covering my smile with my hand, looking over at the Green-haired girl, knowing she did the same. "Who knew could front someone so harsh" I giggled, nudging the girl beside me.

"I did !" Artel raised his Hand, "Same" Kostya copied him, making me laugh a bit "well shit, sorry for underestimating you" , again a hard turn, and I yelped to hold the Car door. This man's crazy... 

As the conversation continued, we came nearer some kind of Club and Disco Street, the flickering Black Lights, Bass booming and People being too underdressed for the weather passed us more often and the car stopped.

We all went out, waited for someone to pay, before heading off to the club we wanted to go to. We found it, "Attitude" in all-caps written over the black box of a Building the glass dome hovering on top of it, and a rather small Line gathered around the Entrance, which was monitored by two broad-built security guards. 

"Isn't it kinda...adventures... to party?" I asked the black haired boy, who leaned down to me, the bass already too loud.

"What?" 

"Press, Fans, aren't you scared?" I repeated, mirroring him and crossing my arms. My Gaze fixed on some small pebbles on the ground, kicking them from one side to another.

He just shrugged and chuckled a bit "I only live once and you know..." he glanced shortly at me, before continuing talking, staring behind me "It's fun right?" I didn't think of it much, nodded, as someone tapped my shoulder, making me turn around.

"What'cha want," I asked, facing Artem. "Nothin'" he grinned cheekily, earring one of my light punches. 

Time run by, so we finally reached the entrance, the lights flashing right into our faces, while we got stamps pressed on our palms.

"exquisite" Angie said snorting a bit, eyeing the symbol on her hand, while walking in the club. "Mhm," I hummed, waiting for Kostya and Nicki next to the Wardrobe, tapping my foot to the song that played.

You could hear Artem screaming over the music for Lena, "Come back, PLEASE!" making everyone chuckle, as he couldn't stop her, and watched her as she turned in to wobble towards the dance floor in her heels. 

"Fully in her element" Nicki returned "Isn't she always?".

The rest of our group then walked into the main room as well, when not as eager as her.

The Moment we were greeted by the strong smell of alcohol, sweat, and perfume, I realized how much I missed clubs. With a bright smile on my face, I fought our way free to the last free Sitting corner.

Just by looking at it, the whole Club felt ten times expensive. 

My poor Money, I felt sorry for myself, letting my hand rest on the fabric for a while. 

Till Kostya decided to sit on it.

"What?" he grinned, reviling his pearl white teeth, which seemed to glow in the dark.

He's the reason you're here, to celebrate his success don't complain so much, my little Voice called out.

I stared at him for a while a bit dazed, but turned around as I came back from whatever that was, "Who wanna get Drinks with me?" my question made the others turn from staring at the crowd to me, and in the End, Artem and I went to get all the drinks at the bar. 

The barkeeper did his job and we waited, watching the crowd again. I couldn't hold back a bit of a smirk as I saw the men's fingers tapping on the beat against his leg. "Are much of a dancer aren't you?" making him smile as well "Yeah.... totally".

"my father once said it's just a question of the drink" he smirked nodding "True words" then the drinks got shove over the bar, and we tried to balance everyone secure back to our place. 

Nobodys gonna learn from the mistake to do such right? as no-one even tried to pay attention to us. So we needed to do whole parkour through the labyrinth of strangers back. But let's be honest, who would?

Welcomed by the cheers of the group and us handing out the orders, I felt like the whole scene was so cliche, it could've come straight out of a Film.

With low quality... 

During the first drink, everyone came in the real club feeling, sitting incredibly close, to hear each other over the music and as everyone's drink started to empty, I and my roommate decided to dance. 

Angie held her hand out for me and walked me to the dance floor, my hand never left hers, eventually as the tunes vibes changed, and some kind of Latin Song came on, we glanced at each other, smirking. We danced till the DJ started talking something around the lines "It's midnight!!" and "Lady's choice". 

So our path led to the bar, getting alcohol, and returning to the couches Artem and the Singer remained there, making a bit of place for us.

"Y'all have something to explain" Artem laughed, while Angie sat down beside him. "What?" I asked, looking over my glass. "That was some lesbian Action you pulled of there-"

"Did we made you a bit too aroused? poor little Kostya" Angie snorted. "Wha- no but Who the fuck is Grinding on their best friend like as if it were the most natural thing in the world?" we grinned, and I nudged his shoulder "Don't get too confused" taking a sip of my drink again. 

"Are you tho?"

I snorted. Someones got a bit drunk, didn't he?

Angie giggled a bit but nodded "Yes Kostya, I'm in fact a Lesbian" his mouth dropped open, making even his friend giggle a bit. The singer then started to smirk, "Well welcome to the club, I'm a Lesbian too, I only like girls" making everyone slap his forehead "That's the straightest thing you can say" I laughed, leaning back in the fabric.

"Hello there," a female voice suddenly chirped. It turned out to be a Redheads girl's ones, who looked at the boys, in specific at Kostya. "Care to dance?" and a brunette plopped up behind her, looking at Artem, not even saying something. 

The boy's reaction wasn't even as priceless as my Friend's, who gulped loudly, trying to stop herself from starring. 

Seconds later the two were swept up to their feet and pulled to the dance floor, while some EDM started. "She's HOT" Angie exclaimed, holding on to my shoulder, watching the girl starting to dance on the Blackhaired side. Who seemed to have no shame, and started dancing too, making my breath hitch.

"Angie...." I tapped the other one. "What. The. Fuck. Am. I. Watching?!" 

The Cliche Party scene just turned into a stripper movie for Bisexuals. The other one's breath hitched,

"She's-She's twerking"

"That's not twerking, that's- never mind". 

Who allowed him to just stand there? Who allowed Kostya to have the audacity to look me in the eyes while a girl grinding on his Leg like her life depends on it? Something cold ran down my hand, making me jump. 

Peeling my eyes of the scenario to the cold, I realized that my drink started heating up in my grip, so I emptied it in one and slammed the glass back on the table. 

Sighing loudly, I tried looking around the room, avoiding the singer's Position, still enjoying myself and bobbing my head again. 

Nickis Figure peeled out the crowd walking towards us.

I greeted her with a sweaty side hug "Where were you at?" noticing the fresh drink in her hand "Not getting in anyone's pants if that's your question" she laughed, taking a sip of her drink. 

"By the way" she swallowed "Who broke Angie?" and pointed at said Girl, who still started at the whole scene. 

Are they still going for it? I glanced at the Singer, yes... yes they are, oooooh no. Nope Nope Nope.

"Umm, she fell for a girl at first sight" ,again, I added, silently. She probably never stop doing that, Straights aren't different, but she gets so attached sometimes.

"Hey" The Make-Up artist snapped her finger, getting my attention back "Answer me" "Sorry I didn't understand the question, repeat" yup the excuse needs to work, but I promise I'll try to learn more, I calmed my little voice, which seemed to give me a whole speech on misbehaving. 

"So, who's she looking at now" Nicki Repeated, turning around in her seat, following Angies Gaze. "You see the girl dancing with Kostya?" she nodded, "That's her".

Nicki laughed, tapping my shoulder and pointing somewhere near the Singer, making me First Stunned by him and then look over at his Friend, who danced as well with the brunette. Well, he tried. 

"Poor Artem," she giggled "Looking like a Schoolboy with his first date"

"Don't be so mean" I laughed, showing her a bit, getting it right back.

Artem was, not to anyone's surprise the next one to come back to our couch. Flopping down besides Angie's seat, who went getting around drinks for everyone.

"Eyyyy" Nicki and I whistled in unison. He flipped us off, catching his breath.

The Green-haired came back, seeing our friend sprawled out the way he was, and questioned: "You good man?" followed by a small giggle. While he tried forming a sentence I took my Whiskey-Cola. 

"Let's get proper drunk, shall we?" with a small grin I took a big sip of it. 

The Alcohol left a burning path, followed by the next one.

It didn't take the Singer too long to come back as well. The song ended and he left the crowd, already beaming in our direction, making us shake our heads.

"Wait for it 3,2...1-" 

"Guys!" 

Kostya started, the moment he flopped down beside me. The whole group started laughing, loud, maybe a bit over loud. He stared at us, one eyebrow rising.

"Cont-Continue" Nicki gasped, holding onto my shoulder.

"Now I don't want to anymore" he answers, crossing his arms and sticking his nose up high. "One round of Pity for Kostya" Angie called, raising her glass. "Poor Kostya" we laughed, holding up our drinks. 

Said boy snapped mine of the table later, drinking of it as well, grinning at me cheekily.

I never put much thought into it, but his cheekbones seemed to be more present when he Laughs.

He's quite handsome. Okay, no, he's definitely fine, really fine.

The Fuck? 

Stupid Whiskey, I started at my remaining drink and tried drowning my thoughts with it. And drank just a bit more to get my mind fully away from it. 

From then out on, the fun continued, shots were handed out, and the game of "who's last under the table" began, with still no sign of Lena, who had now disappeared for some time.

"I'm out" Artem called, his hand falling in his lap, he was three maybe four shots in. 

"Yupp same" Nicki joined. 

But then suddenly, she froze, looking somewhere on the other side of the room. "Guys..." she started "Guys! GUYS!" she started laughing again "L-Lena". 

Everyone turned around. And there she was... Wobbling out the men's WC.

Her Hair sticking on her head like a bird's nest.

"oh nooooo" Kostya giggled, with his face in his hands, looking up again to her, but buried it again laughing louder.

With her last steps, she joined us, getting in the last bit of space we had, raising her hand "long time no see" with a rough voice.

I don't even wanna know why it is that way, do I? I grinned a bit. 

"So whatcha been doing?" Artem asked, leaning back as naturally as possible, surpassing his smile.

"Nothin'" she answers, looking anywhere but us.

"I like your hair, the Just-had-sex-look suits you" Nicki teased.

Ouch! again, such a burn. 

The Backroundsinger blushed dark, even visible in the dark. 

After a few more Laughters and Jokes, we dropped the topic and started talking about something else again.

\------------

Somewhere in the night, I couldn't tell you the time, the DJ started talking again "Next song: Circus by Britney Spears Everybody!!!". 

My head snapped to the dance floor, back to the group.

"Angie, my Song!"

"Nope sorry shortie"

"Awww come on" she shook her head.

"Anyone? Please?" I looked around, most of them shaking their head, tired.

"Yeah let's go" Kostya got up "For real?" and nodded. "Get your ass over here then" I laughed, walking forwards. 

He followed. We arrived just on time, as the song started. I started dancing, lip-syncing the song, grinning as I knew he watched me. The crowd closed, pushing everyone together.We clashed together, our gazes met. And we started dancing,

"There's only two types of people in the world:

The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe

Well, baby, I'm a put on-a-show kind of girl

Don't like the back seat, gotta be first"

I turned my back to him. Big Hands placed on my waist pulled me back, pressing his body against mine.

"I'm like the ring leader, I call the shots

(Call the shots)

I'm like a firecracker I make it hot

When I put on a show"

His scent rose in my nose, as I moved my hips, holding his hands on my waist. He took the lead. Everything seemed to slow down.

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus

Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do

Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like at circus"

All my attention was on this Moment. On the Excitement, on the fire burning under my skin.

"There's only two types of guys out there

Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared

So, baby, I hope that you came prepared

I run a tight ship so beware"

His hips moved with mine to the beat, making me feel like I'm floating, I shut my eyes, letting my head drop back on his shoulder. LED Lights still flickered. Suddenly he spun me back around:

"I'm like the ring leader, I call the shots

(Call the shots)

I'm like a firecracker I make it hot

When I put on a show"

He led my arms up his shoulders, then placing his hands back on my waist. His grip thighed as I pulled him closer, a small smirk tugged on my lips, as one hand snuck up in his Black Hair. I kept eye contact.

"I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins

Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break

I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage

Better be ready, hope that you feel the same"

He pressed his forehead on mine. Our breaths mixed, his air went up to my lungs, while we moved again, slow, in beat. Something glimmer in his eyes. A challenging Flash. This was a competition.

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus

Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do

Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus"

I moved my hips a bit different, tugging on his Hair more, dropping my head on his shoulder, breathing on his skin, making him shiver. 

1:0 for me.

"Let's go

Let me see what you can do

I'm runnin' this like-like-like a circus

Yeah, like a what? Like-like-like a circus"

And he responded, gripping my hips harder, bitterly crashing our body together. Making us fit like a puzzle, even if we weren't that compatible. My breath hitched, he grinded directly against me. Smirking.

"All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

When I crack that whip everybody gon' trip just like a circus

Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do

Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus"

But I did too. We were grinding against each other, smirking. Trying to bring the other one to do anything. At that moment, his Figure seemed to glow. His Hair stuck partly to his Forehead, I smelled his perfume mix with sweat, it made me feel dizzy. The Lights made him look like an Angle, not so innocent. Very much the description of Sexappel. A sudden urge claimed my senses as I studied his face, still dancing. 

But someone bumped into us, breaking us apart. "Sorry" the young boy apologized quickly, before vanishing in the mass of people again. 

We exchanged a look and then went off the floor, the song was about to end anyway. 

Shit... shit shit shit shit. What. was. that? 

but the back voice didn't answer, seemed like it was just shot or something. 

"Finally" Angie welcomed us "Y'all took so long". 

Everyone stood up, Nicki joining me "Let's get out of here huh?" but I just responded with a nod, paralized . 

The Singer moved in the corner of my eyes, and an odd, really uncomfortable gut feeling made me lightheaded for short, so that I hurried out there, for a "Smoker-Break". 

Fellow Smokers out the Group joined me, well just Angie did. The rest stayed with those who needed to get their stuff. 

\-----------------------

One step out of the Club, I tensed up. "Wow, fresh air, my lungs" Angie joked, lighting her Cigaret, shivering. After a deep breath, I murmured a response, mirroring her and lighting my cigarette. 

An electric Clock on a Pouffe's Wall showed it was already 2 am.

"It's too late to get Mcdonald's is it?" Lena's voice called, making us turn around. My Roommate shrugged her shoulders "Somewhere here should be a 24/7 Mc's".

My stomach rumbled "You know what, I'd like something to bite" and chuckled a bit, hugging myself with my free arm. 

We waited for the others to join us and stood a bit aside from the street, which seemed to fill once more for the last wave of hardcore party People. 

They stumbled around, singing and yelling to all the songs they could hear passing by clubs. I stood beside a wall eyeing them, knowing what'll happen with the drunk men's minds.

My breath formed white clouds, which escaped into the freezing air, and my head began hurting. "So yall down for Mc's?" Nicki asked. I turned to her, she wrapped not only herself but my Roommate in her Jacket, the uncovered arm around her waist. 

"Yeah" 

"Could we go now?" Lena cried out, letting her teeth clacker, doing her best puppy eyes. "Sure, but get rid of that lipstick stain," Artem said, rubbing his forehead tensely. 

We started walking down the street, over the paved Sidewalk. My heels kept getting stuck in the ridges. "Fuck this shit" I muttered, pissed, and got stuck right back, "Argh!".

Sighing, I looked forward to where the others had already walked ahead, well almost all of them. Except for Lena, who had even bigger heels. And at that moment I didn't really care anymore: "Lena!" I called, she flinched and turned around "Hm?" I waved her over "can I hold onto you? then it's easier". She nodded, a liberated expression on her face, and held out her arm to me. 

So we walked on, arm in arm, not as wobbly as before, and were able to catch up with the others.

I looked at the sky for a bit, taking in the Sight of the moon and Stars glistening above. "Hey..." I nudged the girl beside me hesitant, almost losing my balance "Beautifull night right?" she shrugged her shoulders "if my under half wouldn't hurt so much" making me sigh, I tried it, ok?

\-------------------------

Finally, after what felt like half an hour, we reached the destination. The warmth and smell of cheap Frying fat, made me never feel more at home than that day. 

We chose Artem and Angie, our soberest, to get our order, slipped them the money, and then looked for a place to sit. 

The store was almost empty, except for a few teenagers hanging out in a corner, whispering as if they were the mafia. In short, they were a pain in the ass. 

The second I sat on the plastic chair, my head fell on the shoulder of the closest, Kostya. 

"I'm tired... and hungry" I cried, like a little child, "Yes, and they don't have happy meals anymore" he joined in, his voice thicker. 

I lifted my head and looked briefly into the other's face. His efforts to still seem hyped and excited were the opposite of his face though. His eyes were slightly swollen, a little red and half-closed. A tired smile crossed his lips. 

"We all could use some sleep, huh?" I murmured, shifting my gaze away from him, restoring the distance between us. 

Damn this racing heart, I can usually handle alcohol and stared disturbed at the table in front of me, wondering what's the diffrence between the drinks here and Back "Home".

As the two arrived with our food, we couldn't even be really excited anymore, just started eating in silence. 

Angie and Nicki stayed close all the time, sharing food and drinks and I couldn't help but scoff in amusement, Alcokohl makes everyone a bit flirty heh? 

\---------------------

In mutual agreement, we got ourselves a cab directly after the meal, so that we could all go home as quickly as possible. 

While the others were already standing on the street, leading a loose conversation, I and the singer had gone to smoke a little further away. 

Kostya leaned his head back, puffed on his cigarette, and let his Adam's apple dance.

The moments in the club came back to my mind, even if it was just my foggy brain, and I cursed the alcohol again. 

" Beautiful Moon" Kostya snapped me out of my thoughts, "Yeah I noticed that a minute ago" I muttered, he snorted,

"huh?"

"I could start talking about something poetic now, but meh"

"but meh?" 

He nodded, and turned his head to me, giving a small grin. I shook my head, smiling. "But meh..." and blew the last puff of my cigarette into his face.

"Let's go," I said, pointing with my head in the direction of the others, while throwing my stick to the ground. He stared at me for a moment before nodding and following me. 

"There was a Problem, I got us an own Taxi" the green-haired Girl informed me, as we reached them. 

Said car arrived just a few minutes later.

The other ones didn't arrive yet, so they watched us getting in the car, and said goodbye to us effusively. "come home safely" Artem's voice was certainly 3 octaves higher. "Yes yes" I laughed, waving to the others as the car started. 

Angie dropped into the seat sighing, "what a night", "yup" I replied, staring out the window into space, "what a night...".

We pulled onto the highway.

\---------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4244 Words
> 
> I was so exited to write this chapterrrrr~
> 
> What do you think what just happend?
> 
> Leave a comment/critism/ vote <3
> 
> till then~


	11. Ｋａｒｍａ ｉｓ ａ Ｈｅａｄａｃｈｅ

Pain shot through my head, down my spine, just as soon as I moved a bit. What made it very complicated to get out of the car and to the elevator and still look representable while doing so. 

As the elevator door closed, I held my head and groaned. 

Angie next to me, opened and closed the mouth multiple times, and I could watch her brain working by looking at her. "Wh-" she squeezed her eyes shut, holding onto my shoulder "When does our train go?". 

Ding! the door opened. 

And put us on display for an older pair. 

We stared at each other, till I muttered a "excuse us" and tried walking as normally as I could out of the room, Angie behind me. Well, we tried to say at least, but remarking to the disdainful comment of the older gentlemen, it didn't work so well.

Our hard way ended in our room, with the door shutting behind us like some safety metal one.

Making Angie cry out and flop on her bed, as well as my Pain going straight for killing the last few brain cells left. "Angie you're still in full-face ma-" but said girl couldn't answer me anymore, she already started snoring like the grandpa in the hallway would.

"I'll be off in the bathroom then" I muttered to myself, running my hands over my face, looking out the small window for a while, zoning out. With a deep breath, I came back to reality and stumbled to the bathroom, taking my heels off in the process. 

I feel like I'm two heads smaller, and walking like a stork or something, I thought. In the bathroom, the vodka bottle and the rest of our makeup awaited me. 

Drinking the hangover away right? I glanced at the bottle but decided against it and for a cold shower. 

So after that, my head hurt more, but my brain started to clear up, plus I couldn't go to sleep. 

Whatever it was, I stared at the ceiling, trying total asleep. 

But Who needs sleep I guess? Smile through the pain Oxana, smile through it...

I got up after an hour of trying to close my eyes for more than two minutes, with the thought of Angies Question swimming somewhere in my brain. But she was right, when does our Train go?

I took my Phone, regretting it the second it shone at me with 100% brightness, making my dry eyes feel like their gonna bleed out.

3am... fuck it. 

I sat back up quietly, watching the sheets of the others for movements, and as she didn't wake up, I knew she was in a whole different world right now. Again breathing out, I closed my eyes, but not for sleeping, just relaxing. I rested my head against the windowsill, taking in the coldness of the stone to earn the energy to actually stand up.

Opening my eyes again, something changed. 

The moonlight had made its way through the clouds in our room. It painted my shadow on the dark floor, made our white sheets glow, and the parts of my Friend, which peeked out under them, seem angelic. The simple beauty of it made my heart throb a bit. 

Finally, I put my feet out of the safe, and warm, zone, and waited for a second, as I leaned on the edge of my Bed, supporting myself on the mattress, wet hair flopping into my view. 

"Shiiiiite" I groaned quietly, stretching. My undershirt rid up, leaving my Skin to the cold air. Goosebumps formed on it and I shivered.

With the sounds of my bare feet on the floor, I tiptoed to get my bag, and then out to open the balcony. Through the open door, a breeze flew in the room, making the sway, in the same, shimmery white. I got myself a blanket and closed the door behind me. 

The wind wasn't much, I didn't worry about my papers as I started laying out the papers I had left for the way back and smoke a calming cig. 

Our Tickets had the time the train arrives in Odessa, which was 15:21 pm, when we would get it, starting here at 4:30 am. Laying out was bullshit. 

The realization hit me.

I got up, threw my cig away, tore the door open, and sprinted to my friend's bed. 

"Angie, Wake up!!" she didn't even flinch.

"ANGIE!" I shook her hard. 

"Wake the fuck up" and ripped the sheets off her.

"what is it..." she murmured, face buried in her pillow. "We need to be out of this hotel, QUICK" I added, running around out again, to get my stuff back.

"But-"

"we have a Train to catch," I said, jumping to get into my sweat pants. A dark growl left her throat as she straightened up, hair up like a wig wrong way. 

"Go, go, go" I threw her some clothes on her bed, getting the old ones from last night, and stuffed them in her bag, her make-up and the god-damn vodka following afterward.

She shuffled her way into the bathroom, and first spent a while there, whatever the heck she was doing in there. 

I, on the other hand, have gone into complete panic mode.

I sprinted through the room, picked up the one heel from that side, threw it into my bag, and the other heel followed. As Angie, after spending precious time, left the bathroom, I picked up my stuff and hurried to get it away. 

Making my bed, I already searched for my converse, which should have been lying around somewhere too. 

Turning out they were under the bed, I had cleaned the whole floor in the process, and the Green-haired had decided to also do her bed. I demanded her to order a Taxi, so we wouldn't loose time waiting for someone to arrive. 

As that was done and she hung up, I got my bag, threw it over my shoulder, and looked around for a while. "Everything's clean right?" 

"I dunno" she murmured, groaning as she went down to pick up her bad as well. The way she stood in front of me, in her way to big jeans jacket and the sports bag, she looked like a 14-year-old Teen, it made me smile as much as my facial Muscles were able to produce at the thought.

"let's get out of here before you turn into a whole mom. " she said, adding a few curses as she opens the front door. 

Bright light welcomed us, and the green carpet didn't look so luxurious now, much more shabby. About as shabby as we both felt when we got into the elevator and the annoying music ruined Angie's last smiles. 

"When I don't get a coffee, you'll be so dead" she threatened in a whisper, stomping to the counter and throwing the key on it. 

A Worker appeared not much later, "Hi how can I help you"

yup, he's gonna die, I thought, watching Angie out of the corner of my eye while answering him "We would like to sign off" the man smiled a typical Worker smile at me before turning to his PC, "Which room did you sleep?" 

maybe the one on the fucking key??? 

"Room 34" he typed in something, slowly, with only one finger. Angie began tapping her feet. "Did you already pay?"

Doesn't that stand somewhere there??? 

"Yes" 

"Okay then, you'll only need to sign..." he rumbled around somewhere under his desk "this and you'll be done" I ripped the pen out of his hand, scribbled my signature on the paper, and took my bag again. "Have a good-" but we were already outside.

"This motherfucker is moving like a fucking sloth and be smiling so provocative, I could've just-" she punched the air, letting out some more profanities. I nodded, eyebrows scrunched together as I looked at the time. 

"3:45" I muttered, but before I could start cursing out the Taxi, it came, and a second later we headed off to the train station.

"I'm in so much pain right now" Angie cried, throwing herself dramatically into me. "Here wait" I looked inside some side pocket of my bag, and found some pills. "Ibuprofen, helps I swear" and popped one out for each of us.

The Driver gave us a strange look over his small mirror, while we swallowed, but who cares, It was just too early for some kind of argument. 

We arrived at the Main Station half an hour later and rushed over the plaza into the building. Searching for any shop with 24/7 Service, we found a really small shop, only selling some sweets and Coffee. A small line had formed infant of it, everyone (except this one business dude) looked like us, not ready to be up but, we couldn't change it. 

After getting the Coffee and something to bite, we tried to get to our track, a bit slower since drinking and running wasn't a good idea. But we managed to get there even before our train was ready to go off.

This station was the start, so the train already stood, but without a driver, is quite bad eh? I chuckled at my own Thinking and went back to sipping one of my coffees. 

The Train Driver appeared a minute after us, greeted us with a small nod, which Angie returned and walked in After that the machine came to life, the lights in it starting glimmering dirty yellow, and the engine puffed once. 

But we had to wait till the Card Controller came in before we were allowed to go take a seat inside. 

The Controller was a Lady, a bit older than us, but extremely friendly. She came up to us after we sat down in a four-seater like two days ago, doing her job "Your cards?" her smile was different from the one the Hotel Employee ones, she even had the aura of a morning person. Her face was priceless though, as we both tried our best to smile back, and not just sleep on the spot, and I still had to give her the code I got from the website I booked our tickets from. "Sweethearts, what's up? Y'all look like someone just vomited you out, ate it up again, and the vomited again, for real get some sleep." her wink made the package complete and I chuckled, she was the first one to be nice to us. 

"Good night" Angie mumbled, laying on the two seats, head on her bag. I watched her, knowing I had to wait more than just a bit to sleep... for the first time today.

What I haven't noticed, was the Lady still being there, just as she began speaking, and scaring me in the process "Are you okay?" I turned to her, thumps up "Someone has to watch right? It's what you get taught from young on, never sleep in open and public spaces without a friend watching" she nodded slightly. "Darling you look like you're straight out of the grave, when was the last time you slept?!" her appalled and concerned mix in her voice made me smirking again, "A bit less than two days ago." I said. And when I tell you she was shocked, trust me, that's even understated. "You go to sleep, I watch you two",

I shook my head "It's fine" 

"That wasn't a question, that's an order darling" she laughed, and patted my back, "Seriously, go sleep, trust me". I pretended to think about it for a minute, but my brain began getting foggy again, and I trusted that lady, so I played down as well, using my jacket as a blanket. As soon as I closed my eyes I was out of the picture.

\--------------------------------------------

Opening my eyes again, I wished I never did it.

A vague image formed in front of me. Angie, she was awake. 

As my vision began focusing, my hearing went on, but not blurry and careful, no. 

Bam!!! and everything crashed down on me. 

Kids Screaming, aggressive talking, more Kids. 

I thought I ended up in my personal hell. 

I straighten up, rubbing my forehead in the process, and leaned against the window. "Morning, sleepyhead" my Friend greeted me, voice and face in a state to cut the next person who breathes in a half. "What-" I got my coffee from the table "What time is it?" it was cold. "It's 10 am" she grumbled, just then I noticed that she had one ear-bud in.

Don't talk to someone with headphones on, that's the rule. So I shut my mouth and mirrored her a while afterward.

Because the Kid/Teens/Demons were in a Group, the group so big they had filled the whole wagon, and they acted as they did. I never heard the word "PENIS" screamed as often as I did then, and it made my hungover ass, take yet another pill, that's so healthy I know. 

While music blasted into my ears, at a volume I couldn't hear anyone else, the whole situation turned even worse.

They noticed us, well I believe they did before, but they summoned us to be the main attraction apparently. And while they pointed at us, whispered among themselves, or talked directly to us, in Ukrainian and Russian, I pulled my power move "Sorry, me not understanding Russian" giving them enough to gossip about for at least an hour.

\---------------------------------------------

It felt like a blessing when we had to switch Trains, one because we could have a short smoke break before getting on the other train and two sat on a half-empty train, with new coffee and food. Even the Seats felt better than the last ones.

"Time of arrival in Odessa, main station planned 15:21 pm" The Driver announced, and made me even happier, only two hours to go.

My good Feeling didn't hold for too long, it was enough to look out the window, and see how the trees bent because of the Wind, the grey sky and the fact that it was like -11° made it worse.

The Moment I thought that the moderators went to speak again "Hello guuuuuys, ready for another round of depressing LOFI Beats? Yeah same" and I could formally see how the dude laughed at his own, dark jokes, which he did since the other two left after their Shift. He was very sympathetic somehow.

\------------------------

The hours flew by, molding into a grey Convolute of things I can't quite remember, but suddenly we sat on the tramway back home. 

Sharing a pair of headphones, as Angies Bluetooth died somewhere in the Process, listening to the usual Piano, R&B Jazz songs. The playlist was made with the basic idea, of putting up every song we would like to play and sing together. Well, now we have a cool list at least. 

The ride was bumpy, the Sun started setting, and the old metal bunks really did the Rest for my Spine, but... Sacrifices must be made, such as not walking right for a week, or a sleep schedule that isn't really one anymore. 

"Aren't you a bit overdramatic?" my Roommate asked, whilst I told her what I thought, "I'll film you next time I need to wake you up" I threatened as an Answer, smiling at her sweetly. "Love you too" she bumped her shoulder against mine, smiling a genuine smile. 

At that Moment orange Light flooded our little wagon, and the whole moment became so cliché that I couldn't help looking out the window and sighing softly. The other smiled at me thereupon, and it made me warm around my heart because It was one of the smiles I call "Angie-Smiles" nobody can make you feel so home, and safe just by smiling, accept Angie, and that's why it's her smile. 

Eventually, we had to exit the wagon and walk the short rest to our apartment. 

"Nothing changed" Angie meant, opening the gate. 

"What did you think would happen?" I scoffed, walking in, carrying both of our bags. 

"I don't know" she shrugged, opening the backdoor too "New colors maybe", 

"Tell me" I started, walking up the stairs "When it happened that something here has been repainted" and heard her soft laugh behind me "It was the day I moved in here, the walls were supposed to be a lilac grey, but they chose this, and the Owner got so angry," she tells me, rushing forward to unlock the door to our home.

"Well that's one of the ugliest green greys I've ever seen, so I understand him" I meant, kicking the door shut behind me, "You should've seen them when they were fresh" she laughed "That bad?" 

"Yup". 

We decided to be at least a bit productive and cleaned out our sports bags, washed and put away their contents before we went to the living room. 

Angie started playing, because of her maniac brain, and I just scrolled through Insta and Reddit, reading some discussion between two strangers about f the worlds flat or not.

\-------------------------------------

And it got later and later and later, I didn't know what to do with myself anymore, so I went to take a shower. At 9 pm or something...

Angie, like the grandmother she is, went to bed after eating some 5-Minutes Ramen, so I had all the time, and all the hot water I wanted. 

Armed with a change of clothes, I went to the bathroom. And then I remembered why it was the only thing I hadn't missed. 

But I didn't let the baby size bother me and stripped down to courageously step into the mini version of a shower. 

After a while, I had even discovered advantages for me, like you could stand relaxed against the tile wall, which was warm from the water, and at the same time continue to shower. In fact, Perfect if you were under 1.90 tall and had no claustrophobia. 

After that experience, I stood for a while in front of the mirror, did my tattoo care, and tried to convince myself with intense stares that the color of my eyes was so brown and that I hadn't gotten any hair dye in there. 

Where I only noticed later how stupid that actually was to think. 

Around an hour later, I returned to my room and had my normal sleeping ritual. 

Smoke, let the window open, and sleep.

\-----------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3060 words
> 
> first productive thing I did at 4 am to be honest
> 
> anyways, leave Critic and a Vote/comment <3
> 
> till then


	12. Ｉｔ'ｓ ｎｏｔ ｗｈａｔ ｉｔ ｓｏｕｎｄｅｄ ｌｉｋｅ, Ｉ ｓｗｅａｒ!

26.02.2018, the next day. As usual, I woke up in time for work, trying to cover my dark circles with a bit of make-up, before starting to do a can of coffee. 

Angelina didn't wake up, and I didn't really blame her for it, because it allowed me to have a bit of peace before Work. 

The sun shined through the small window, pale because of the fog outside while climbing it's way higher. I filled two large thermos flask with the coffee, sighting a bit as my Phone vibrated on the counter. It was my Alarm telling me it was time to go. And so I did, scribbling a little note for my friend, until tacking my coat, scarf Beanie and heading out.

In front of our gate, I lighten myself a cigarette and put headphones on, playing one of my songs, that went with every morning. "Violet City" by Mansionair. With a short nod to myself, and exhaling a bit of smoke, I made my way to the Shop.

"Wide awake in this violet city

Where it washes over me

It hurts to say that I want you with me

Just draped across my frame"

My Boots gave me security, as the wind started blowing more, and I pulled my scarf closer to me, as the Drizzle tried to get under my clothes. The sun went somewhere I couldn't see it, and the fog made me see just a few meters in front of me.

"Ooh, I can't help myself, the moment that I let it go

Is when I find I'm in control, in control

Ooh, I need something else, the moment that I let it go

Is when I find I'm in control, I'm in control"

The fog was kind of a good thing, and pleasant sometimes, but at that moment, It gave me goosebumps, and fear built up inside of me. I had to trust in the car drivers, that they knew what they were doing and hopefully had a high beam on. Again I exhaled my last bit of smoke, before throwing the stick on the ground.

"Ooh

In control, in control

Ooh, I can't help myself, the moment that I let it go

Is when I find I'm in control, I'm in control"

I waited before crossing the road and finally getting to my destination. The Green of the Shop seemed so much older and rustic. "Thank god I'm here" I murmured to myself, pushing the door open. 

"Morning" Jeff greeted me, his morning persona pushing my mood "Terrible Weather right?" I shrugged, taking my Headphones off. "It's great as long as you're inside" he nodded, before returning to clean the counter and Machines. 

So I made my way back in the Dressing room, took my coat and scarf off, put my rug on, as someone came in. "Morning," I said, checking the pockets for my little block and pen. "Hmpf" my Co-Worker answered. I rolled my eyes a bit, walking out again.

"It's okay if I leave it on right?" I asked my Boss, filling a Bucket with water in the sink, talking about my Beanie. "Sure" I nodded, and then took my utensils to go clean the tables. "Boris!" Jeff called. "Can you get the Pastries from the back?" just getting a few grumbles back as an answer. 

Ready with my first task, I took new decorations and tried to put them on the tables to create a bid more of the mood we had on the other days. "Oxana!" Boss called now, making me turn to him "Hm?", "Want to put up some music for your shift?" he smiled, watching me rush to the work Computer, with a bright smile.

"See I found a playlist yesterday," I told him, searching said thing up on youtube "It fits the vibe today" and he grinned a bit at me, crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. 

"How was your weekend?" he asked, later while we waited for the first usual Customers to arrive. "Stressful, but we had fun," I said, starring outside and watched the drizzle forming into proper rain. "Watched Vibdir?" I asked him. 

"Nope, but I heard who won" 

"Its everywhere in the Media," Boris interrupted, rolling his eyes as he got back to make some muffins (the only task he would do, without complaining).

"I like the Boy, he deserves it," Jeff said, pushing his glasses up his nose a bit. "Yeah, I like him to" I meant, peeling my Eyes of the window. After our little talk, the first people came in.

Some sitting in the corners, laptop open and already working, others just coming in to get something to go. 

"What would you like today?" I asked a girl, who came in almost every morning, with friends, and seemed to be always writing essays as she told me. "Oh hi, good morning Oxana" she snapped her head away from the screen to look at me, revealing her blue brackets with a gorgeous smile. "Cappuccino maybe and do you have those Blueberry Cake from last week?" I smiled back at her and nodded while writing down. "I'll get that for you in a second", and took the other orders from the few customers, before giving Boris my Note, receiving the first orders seconds later. "Here you go," I said, putting the things on the table. "You're an angel, thank you" but I just shrugged, turning to the next people "It's my duty". 

Days like this, and especially Mondays, were great to work by the tables. People who get To-Go things were always in a rush, and most of them felt like me on Mondays, really really shitty.

But the shift got over quicker than expected, with a few Smoker Breaks in the Drizzle. I sighed a bit, knowing I hadn't had to walk through fog again while changing again. "Have a great day" I said to Boris before leaving, saying Goodbye to my Boss. In front of the store, the others for the next Shift waited, talking and as they noticed me, they greeted me with a polite nod. I returned it, before putting my headphones on, and walking back home. 

I never talked to the other Employees, it was just Boris, and I couldn't stand his Adittude like today. It's kinda sad that I never get to work with the others, they seem very nice to me. 

I crossed the road and continued walking to the beat of the radio blasting in my ears. 

My back hurt, and it did a little bit more every time my bag hit it. 

But my mood was too good, to let that bring me down. I arrived by the gate ten minutes later. 

Feels like I went to work a second ago, I thought to myself, opening the gate and walking in the backyard. Meeting one of my Neighbors, smoking something different than Cigarettes. A smile formed on my face as I watched him getting panicked while he noticed me. I just shook my head and opened the backdoor, simply because it's not of my business right? 

Climbing up the staircase, my stomach decided to make itself hearable. I had no breakfast, I realized, fumbling to open the door. 

To my surprise, the apartment wasn't as cold, but mild warm, and after I changed into comfortable clothes and fuzzy socks, I also noticed, that Angie wasn't there. "Lewvyn needed help, I'll be home in a few." she left behind on my note, a little heart drawn in the corner. 

"Okay then" I mumbled to myself. "Noodles?" I looked into a drawer, said thing standing in it on mass. "Noddles!" . 

So I left a pot of water on the stove, and while it was starting to boil, I started cleaning up the kitchen a bit. Later as I managed to find Sauce in a Glass I sat on the couch and made a To-List while Eating. 

"Vacuuming might not be a bad idea, I guess I could sort the books...." I mumbled with a full mouth. 

\------------------------------

Around late afternoon, I did all that I wanted to do, and bored myself in my room, skipping through a book about plants. Just as I reached a chapter about Orchids, I got a message. "Hellooooo," it said, from nobody else but Kostya. I grinned a bit, typing in an answer "Helloooooooooo"

K:"Whatcha doing?"

O:"Reading, you?"

K:"Bore myself"

O:"Don't you have Citrus to entertain you?"

K:"Meh, he's pissed, Idk why"

I didn't know how to respond, but the boy took my decision away by adding another message

K:"What do you think about having a group face time"

O:"With who?"

I had really nothing to do, so...

K:"I asked Nicki and Artem already"

O:"So you lied about being bored :(" 

I smiled.

K:"Just a bit ;) are you down for it yay or nay?"

I agreed and seconds later a sign popped up on my screen "Groupphone call, Kostya and two others are calling"

I positioned my Phone somewhere on my desk to have a bit of an angle and accepted the call. "Hi"

"Heyo" Nicki waved at us with both hands. Her lightning was, honestly very bad, and it didn't take someone long to ask her about it. "What's up with your light, are you in a cave or what?" Kostya laughed. "Say the one who probably sits in front of a window, looking like a freak" she counters, making me chuckle. "Yes I am, and I'm proud" Kostya answers shifting and showing us, that he in fact did, sit by his Window. "Y'all this Fog this morning" I groaned, getting lots of agreeing sounds back "It's okay, as long as you stay inside," Kostya said, "Literally what I said". 

We continued gossiping about the weather, about what happened today, for the most parts nothing, and laughed a lot, as Kostya got the first People to notice him Standing by his window. 

"I said it! I SAID IT!" Nicki screamed standing up, walking a bit clapping. My giggles turned into straight laughter as the Singer appeared on the Screen again, getting all red and crouching down. "Guys... this isn't funny" his voice cracked. But even Artem laughed, throwing his head back, you could hear a loud thud and his cursing. "Ha karma is a bitch" the singer laughed, as his friend held his head, still giggling. I don't know how, but as the call beat the two hours mark I had started reading my book, but like I was someone highly educated. As entertainment for the others.

"The Orchidaceae are a diverse and widespread family of flowering plants, with blooms that are often colorful and fragrant, commonly known as the orchid family." I stared with a nasal voice

"Along with the Asteraceae, they are one of the two largest families of flowering plants. The Orchidaceae have about 28,000 currently accepted species, distributed in about 763 genera." Kostya started bursting our laughing, and the others did too, while I tried my hardest to hide my grin and be completely serious

"The determination of which family is larger is still under debate because verified data on the members of such enormous families are continually in flux. Regardless, the number of orchid species is nearly equal to the number of bony fishes, more than twice the number of bird species, and about four times the number of mammal species."

"S-stop, my stomach" Kostya had met the floor again, laying on it, holding himself "I c-can't" he giggled, "I c-can't" Nicki imitated him, in the exact moan that the black-haired man, made. "NOOOO MY EARS" Artem laughed, covering his ears, and slamming backward against an object again. I couldn't hold back anymore and started to fall into a fit of laughter as well.

"what the fuck are you doing?" suddenly Angie's voice called. And I turned around, to face her. Disbelief and a mix between Disgust and Amusement were written on her face, the others were quite too before Artem snorted, and everyone started laughing again, plus me and Angie. "You're weird." she exclaimed, holding herself on my doorframe "Same," the three said in unison.

But the call didn't last t long after that, as Nicki had Duties to do.

"See you guys" I waved at them, before ending the call.

I got up and joined my friend on the couch. "I'm not gonna ask," she said, skipping through programs. I just grinned, shaking my head "It's not what it sounded like, I swear!" but she didn't answer. We watched a few episodes of Criminal Minds, ate the rest of my noodles until it was about 11 pm. 

"Night" I called out as I snuggled into my blanket and closed my eyes, getting only a quiet "Mhm" back.

\------------------------------------------

27.02.2018, the same morning as the last day, besides no rain nor fog, just heavy clouds hanging over the sun, making the morning look even more depressing grey. 

"It's -15° outside my friends" that was the only thing I heard the moderator say before I turned up other music. 

I've been waking up around 5 am, and walked a long way to work then I usually did, to try to walk the uneasy feeling out my guts. To no surprise, it didn't work but made me smoke my last package of Cigarettes out, and my back hurt like a bitch. 

On top of that, I had duty by the counter. Cash register and quick service, who doesn't love it... 

The break came crawling like a snail, and when it finally was there, the first thing I needed to hear was my Boss getting mad and having a tough talk with Boris, who came to work backed like a cake. 

"Hey" I rolled my eyes, swiping Kostyas's Message away, not now, dear lord. "Helloooo" I hate his good mood, but opened the chat anyway,

"What is it?"

"Where are you?"

"At work" 

"Where" Omg good, leave me alone,

"I have no time afterward, full schedule dear, you'll need to ask someone else" I typed, leaning back in the chair I sat on,

"Please?" 

"What do you want?" I was getting actually annoyed, and my little voice began scolding me, He's trying to be nice, it's not his fault that you're being so grumpy, but I scoffed, It ain't my fault either, and send a death glare to Boris, who seemed to zone out in some corner. 

"I wanted to come over...." I sighted, Be nice, my voice said.

"Sure..." I typed in "" and he replied happily.

"Back to work!" I pushed myself up, letting my phone disappear into my pocket.

\----------------------------

"Good noon, what can I get for you," I asked, the first lady to come in after we opened again. "Just my usual" she snapped, not looking up from whatever she was doing on her phone "Sorry Madame, I'm new here..."

"Then get the girls they know me" she looked at me like she sat on a throne, but I kept calm "Madame I'm the only one here, the rest doing orders... please just tell me what I can get for you" 

"Uh Oh not in that tone with me young lady, get me your manager" she snapped her fingers. What the actually fuck...? I sighed, nodded, and went to get Jeff. 

"Boss, a lady wants to talk to you" I yelled in the back room, and came back, said guy following not much later. "What's the problem miss?" 

"Your employee won't get me my order," she said, looking at me with her nose up high "She didn't tell me it..." I muttered under my breath. Jeff patted my shoulder, did whatever the woman wanted, and let me serve the other customers waiting in a line. "She does that often, don't worry," Jeff said while going back into his office, "Very sympathetic woman," I said, making him smile a bit, nodding.

\-----------------

"Where are you going, Boris?" I asked the guy, who had already changed and had the doorknob in his hand, "Nothing you should care about" he hissed and disappeared afterward. I shook my head, giving an order out, earning a bit of a tip and a polite smile from the man. "Have a great day" he nodded before following Boris outside. 

This day can't get any worse, can it? I exhaled loudly, cleaning the Milk whipper with my cleaning rag before it flew to the stag of dirty utensils as well. The Bell rang, and I didn't even look up "Good noon, what can I get for you?" 

"What? No hello?" a familiar voice laughed, and my head snapped up.

The Blackhaired stood on the other side of the counter, in a black Coat, sunglasses on. I gigged a bit in relief, "Hi" and he smiled at me. Maybe it wasn't that bad that he came. "Whatcha want?" I asked again, getting a mug. "Surprise me" he grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes. "I'll get you straight vinegar" 

"nooooo" but I began to work anyway. 

"Sit down, my god, don't stand here like a lost puppy" I shooed him away, watching him getting out of his Coat and sit down on a small table somewhere in the corner.I forgot he was famous for a second, and almost spill the drink I made for him, thinking about it "Shit shit shit shit" I mumbled, pressing stop just on time. 

Well after that, I made myself something, the same to be exact. "Here wait for a second okay, be right back," I said, smiling at him briefly and leaving. "Jeff, the girls for next shift are here, I'll be off okay?" my boss looked at me, and nodded "Who's that guy?" he asked, adding "And I hope the machines are okay" 

"What-oh yes, I just zoned out never happening again," I said, scratching the back of my neck "He's a friend of mine" I mumbled, more to myself before going in the changing room, and got my rug off, took all my stuff outing left. 

"I'm back" I announced, putting my jacket over my chair lean and sitting down opposite of Kostya. "Hi," he started, taking off his sunglasses, "Hi.. so, what's up?" I popped up an elbow on the table, rested my head on my hand. "Crazy story" he started, rubbing his face, laughing a bit. "Tell me" I sipped on my coffee, watching the boy, start talking with a dramatic hand gesture.

"So like, Sunday, I got called. I slept, the call woke me up, and I thought it was a spam call so I just kinda go 'de fuck you want' the way you talk when you wake up right?" I nodded "And it was an Agency, they want an Interview for the 13. March for their News Paper." I snorted, trying to keep my sip of coffee in my mouth. "So embarrassing, and then I texted Artem if he knew about it, and he answers 'Yeah I texted you, guess you slept'" the imitation of his friend's voice was on point "Yeah and then you naturally give them my number, when you know I'm sleeping" Kostya wouldn't stop complaining about it even if he had a huge smile on his lips. 

Maybe ten minutes of ranting and cussing from his side later, he finally leaned back and took a sip of his coffee,"Stupid" scoffing under his breath. 

I looked outside the window, watching the clouds become even heavier than they were that morning. "What's the matter?" the black-haired boy snapped me out of my thoughts, his voice much softer than when he had his little rant. "Nothin too serious" I sighted, smiling a bit, letting my arms rest crossed on the table. "What happened" I rolled my eyes playfully "You know I won't stop asking" Kostya stated, taking a sip of his mug, his eyes searching over my face.

"Just rude people you know, like I said, nothing serious," I stated, rocking my head from side to side, my neck cracking. "Oh and my Co-Worker came here stoned as fuck, but..." Kostya scoffed "Oh yeah and maybe the KGB stormed the cafe, just a normal Afternoon you know" saying that with a high-pitched voice. 

I kicked him under the table, earning a "Hey, no, ouch!" followed by a fit of very manly giggles. 

We talked like that for a while, just having fun, till Angie called me "One I need your help, second, why aren't you home yet?" and hung up directly after I answered. I shook my head a bit, meeting the gaze of the Singer, and shrugged "I'm needed" he pouted "Come on, don't!" I shook my head and stood up. 

"I paid for them already by the way" He looked at me, a bit shocked "No, why" 

"Because I can" I answer and wrapped my scarf around my neck. "You came by train?" he nodded, following me out. 

"Wanna walk till there together?" 

"No I don't like you" he crossed his arms and held his nose up high the other way. "Pff, okay" I started walking home. "Wait for me god damn it" he laughed, catching up. 

"Kostya...?" 

"Hm?" 

"Do you..." I started dramatically "have a cig?" he groaned but nodded. 

"I thought you'll say something deep"

"Ey, Cigarettes are deep" 

"Deeply Poisonous maybe" he chuckled, snatching my lighter after I used it. 

I started watching his side profile, because he still got my lighter.

The way he inhaled the smoke, the way he holds the stick, just the whole vibe he had whilst smoking made me jealous. 

"I want to look as cool as you smoking," I said, exhaling my smoke, sounding like a little child. We crossed the road. "You look cool, trust me," he said, wrapping one arm around my side playfully, giving me a light squeeze. "As if" I rolled my eyes, elbowing him in the stomach. "I did not deserve that" he pouted, elbowing me back "Yes you did" we staggered our warlike that, till my street. 

"See ya hm?", I murmured, while he gave me a proper hug goodbye. Just then his perfume rises up in my nose, the smell drawing me in "Boy what perfume do you use"the words left my mouth before I had even thought them. "None right now" 

"You're kidding me" he shook his head. I shrugged, "Later loser" and turned around to open the gate. His chuckle was the last thing I heard before going in.

"Where have you been?". 

Maybe I should've stayed outside. 

"I was in the Cafe, Kostya came around" I love her, but why does she act like that sometimes, would I complain when she spends time with someone, no. "Anyway, you need to hear this, something seems off, I can't get this stupid song in my head" she rants, stomping in the living room. 

Following her after getting out my streetwear, she had sat down in front of her piano, waiting for me. "Which one do you mean?" I asked, having my Lyrics in my lap. "Sit down and listen" I did as I were told, and sat down in the window niche. She started playing and I closed my eyes, the tune feels very familiar and it doesn't take me too long to figure it out.

"Skyfall right? By Adele" she nodded and stopped playing. "But something feels off right?" I rolled my Wrist "Play it one more time" and she did. I starred in the sky, concentrating on the notes. "I think you have it a note too high, play it lower" I murmured. And after she played that part lower she agreed "True.... so, wanna eat?" I nodded, "Haven't eaten something proper today" I cried, sitting on the counter and watching her cook. "Same," she said, turning up the radio.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3959 words
> 
> is this technically the second update in a day?
> 
> Anyways, what do you think about this so far?
> 
> Leave Critic and or Votes/Comments down below.
> 
> Till then

**Author's Note:**

> 3645 words 
> 
> how is it so far? I am really hyped to write this, even tho it feels like his fandom is kinda dead.
> 
> if u have constructive critic pls let me know
> 
> leave a vote or comment (if u want to) 
> 
> till the next time~


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